One of the most difficult side effects of my anxiety is irritability. I can easily snap over small things. It's exhausting to feel irritable most of the time, and my poor family gets the brunt of it. In my journey to healing, I have found that I am most irritable at certain times of the day. Gaining this knowledge has helped me find ways to conquer irritability, and because of this, I know that you can, too.
My Common Anxious and Irritable Times
Early on in my anxiety diagnosis, my therapist helped me realize that lunchtime was a peak anxiety point in the day for me. My toddler would get whiny and clingy as she started to get hungry, the baby would need to be nursed, and I would feel shaky because my body yearned for lunch, too. Everything seemed to come crashing down together, and I would get irritated and overwhelmed.
Discussing my days further, we also discovered that bedtime was another peak anxiety and irritability point for me. I just needed my kids to go to sleep, and they (especially my oldest) would fight it so hard. After feeling anxious all day, irritable, and exhausted my coping skills would be to a minimum. I needed relief or I would snap, be grumpy, and maybe even yell or cry.
Conquering Anxiety and Irritability at Lunchtime and Bedtime
Realizing my peak anxiety points in a day became a turning point in conquering them. I implemented the plan for lunchtime to set an alarm for one hour before the usual time we ate lunch. Setting this alarm helped me prepare our food earlier so that when our bodies were ready to eat, the food was ready, too.
This simple step made all the difference. I made the food without a crying, clingy toddler on my leg and a crying baby ready to be nursed. Our lunchtimes went smoother and I felt less irritable and more peaceful. Making a menu plan the night before was another simple step that took the pressure off for meal time the next day.
Bedtime has remained a peak anxiety point for me throughout the last few years. The biggest conquering tool for me is making sure to ask for help. I shouldn't ever feel guilty for asking my husband to help or even take over if it is becoming too much for me to handle and I can feel the anxiety and irritability rising.
Other steps that help are having a good bedtime routine, turning on peaceful music to calm myself and my kids, taking deep breaths, reminding myself that they will fall asleep at some point (I am not trapped in bedtime forever), and putting my anxiety in a box in my mind and locking it away.
Hope from Feeling Anxious and Irritable
In my experience, I found that pinpointing peak anxiety times in my day is a great way to start conquering your anxiety and irritability. When do you feel most anxious and irritable? Take time to acknowledge throughout the week if there are any consistent points where you feel this way. Once you have those, make an action plan.
My action plan includes setting an alarm, making a list, practicing coping skills (such as deep breathing or meditation), and asking for help. As you acknowledge your peak anxiety points and implement a plan to combat them, I believe you will feel more peaceful. Share your plan with someone who can help you keep on track, and you'll be well on your way to conquering your anxiety and irritability.
Daily journaling has been my guiding light on the path to managing borderline personality disorder (BPD). When hit with a BPD trigger, there are intricate layers to my emotions and thoughts. Having those thoughts in front of me is sometimes the only tool that loosens the grip cognitive distortions have on me. It's more than just putting pen to paper; it's a safe place where I can process my inner turmoil and gain invaluable self-awareness. Journalling is definitely helpful for BPD management.
Journaling for BPD Management Is a Tangible Outlet
When faced with triggers, I find myself struggling to recognize fact from fiction. There are facts in situations that I miss because I am so emotionally charged and afraid of the worst-case scenario. It's like I become a conspiracy theorist, connecting dots that aren't there. Daily journaling offers a tangible outlet for the overwhelming thoughts and feelings that fuel my catastrophic thinking. It's only through writing that I can externalize my inner chaos. For example, rather than plunge full force into my greatest fears being true, I'm able to free up mental space by listing alternative outcomes that are probably more likely. The process of independently reframing my thoughts is profoundly empowering, offering a glimpse of mental liberation.
Journaling for BPD Management Offers a Sense of Self
For me, grappling with a fragmented sense of self has been a lifelong challenge. It's not easy for me to form my own opinions or trust my intuition because I tend to fill my mind with external influences, such as relationship what-ifs and fleeting interests. While I'm starting to grow beyond this tendency, it still doesn't feel entirely natural to me. At times, I find myself escaping from my own reality, preferring to dissociate rather than confront the discomfort of solitude, especially on tough days.
However, daily journaling for BPD management has become a vital form of quality time spent with myself. It might be trivial to some, but it's become my primary means of self-expression and introspection. Through daily journaling, I carve out moments to understand myself without the burden of external pressures or expectations. I candidly articulate my experiences, fears, and aspirations, fostering a deeper sense of self-acceptance and validation. Embracing this ritual has enabled me to strengthen my connection with myself and approach my journey of healing and self-discovery with renewed purpose.
Daily Journaling for BPD Management Provides a Witness to Recovery
I have issues with remembering my progress, especially since BPD triggers can be so pervasive, but daily journaling for BPD management is a powerful tool for tracking progress. Just recently, I delved into entries from 2020, and the experience was enlightening. I was confronted with memories of the arduous efforts I once exerted to employ my dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills, which at the time felt mechanical and forced. I had to encourage myself to ingrain the basic tenets of therapy continually. Upon revisiting those past entries, I gained a profound appreciation for the strides I've made. Reflecting on my journal entries not only reaffirms my dedication to self-care but also fosters a sense of optimism for the future, which has never come naturally to me.
In my latest video, I delve into overcoming common obstacles to journaling for BPD management, offering insights for those who may find it challenging to begin.
Understanding your binge eating triggers can help you break the cycle. Embarking on the journey to recover from binge eating disorder (BED) was a great experience. There were many moments of triumph and self-discovery. In this article, I will share my journey of breaking the cycle of binge eating by understanding my triggers and embracing a path toward healing and self-love.
Recognizing My Binge Eating Disorder Triggers to Break the Cycle
The first step in my journey to break the cycle was recognizing the triggers that fueled my binge eating episodes. Stress, anxiety, and emotional turmoil often acted as catalysts, driving me to seek comfort in food. By identifying my triggers, I gained a huge awareness of the underlying emotional struggles that contributed to my disordered eating patterns.
4 Other Things That Help You with Your Triggers and Breaking the Binge Eating Disorder Cycle
1. Seeking Support and Guidance for Binge Eating Disorders
Seeking support from loved ones and professionals played a pivotal role in my recovery journey. Opening up about my struggles with binge eating was a daunting yet liberating experience. With the guidance of therapy, spiritual practices, and support groups, I learned invaluable coping strategies and gained the strength to confront my challenges head-on.
2. Challenging My Negative Thoughts Related to BED
Challenging my negative beliefs was essential in reshaping my relationship with food and self-image. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) empowered me to challenge distorted thinking patterns and replace them with more balanced perspectives. Learning to practice self-compassion and forgiveness allowed me to release the weight of shame and guilt that had burdened me for so long.
3. Embracing Self-Love and Acceptance When You Have BED
As I progressed on my journey, I gradually began to embrace a newfound sense of self-love and acceptance. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and embracing my imperfections became liberating acts of self-empowerment. Nourishing my body with wholesome foods and engaging in self-care practices fostered a deeper connection with myself and a greater appreciation for my worth beyond the number on the scale. I stopped consuming junk food and white sugar.
4. Celebrating Milestones in BED
Celebrating milestones along the way reminded me of the progress I had made and fueled my determination to continue moving forward. Every time I resist my urge to binge eat or nurture myself, I consider it a small victory. It gives me more confidence and reaffirms my commitment to my recovery journey.
Breaking the Cycle of Binge Eating and Triggers
My journey of overcoming binge eating disorder has been marked by challenges, growth, and moments of profound transformation. By breaking the cycle of binge eating, understanding triggers, and embracing self-love, I have discovered the power within myself to create a future defined by health, happiness, and inner peace.
I recently flew in an airplane, and it triggered my schizoaffective anxiety. Here’s how my schizoaffective anxiety was affected by flying in an airplane.
Schizoaffective Anxiety When I Last Flew on an Airplane
I was anxious about flying again after many years, not because I was afraid of the plane crashing or a door flying off but because I was very afraid of airport security. And I had a right to be. Airport security is downright dehumanizing—especially when flying out of O’Hare International Airport in Chicago. That was the departure point from where my mom and I were flying to visit my brothers, sister-in-law, nieces, and other family in California. Airport security has gotten worse since the last time I flew to New York to visit old college friends and see a Diane Arbus exhibit in 2005. It is true that I had a lot less schizoaffective anxiety than I did when I flew to New York in 2005, but airport security has also tightened since then.
Flying with Anxiety Now
When my mom and I were going through airport security at O’Hare, I had to go in a separate line from my mom because she is almost 75. I know I’m a grown, 45-year-old adult, but I needed to be near my mom because the whole process of flying in an airplane with schizoaffective anxiety was overwhelming. So, I started crying when I was standing in line to go through security alone. I am no stranger to crying jags, so I knew how to get it together before I had to talk to security personnel. It was also difficult taking off my shoes to go through the x-ray machine because I’ve recently had knee replacement surgery.
Because of this difficulty, the trip back from San Francisco to Chicago was just as bad. When I got to airport security, I told them about the recent knee surgery and the difficulty taking off my shoes and standing up. I asked for a chair. They kept scanning my shoes while they were still on my feet. The scans didn’t clear my way. Five minutes later—a long time when you’re standing around being scanned—a supervisor came by and asked me if I could take my shoes off if I were sitting in a chair. I said yes.
One of my brothers, Billy, had told me that the airport security in San Francisco was more laid back than at O’Hare. Based on my experience, the system in the Bay was not aggressive but just plain incompetent. And while it’s great that I no longer need a cane to walk and, for all intents and purposes, can walk normally, if slowly, it means that, as I continue to heal, I now, for the time being, have two invisible disabilities. My knees, while still healing, are an added challenge to my mental illness.
Even if flying on an airplane triggered my schizoaffective anxiety, it was great seeing my family. I want to tell my family how much I loved being in the Bay Area with them. It was worth all the airport dramas. I just don’t like flying because of my schizoaffective anxiety. But I love them all, and it was great to see them.
Now, I've learned how to keep my anxiety from hurting others. There was a time when I was a lot younger that I was easily agitated and often angry. What I realized later on in life was that this was related to my anxiety. I often found myself experiencing these intense feelings that I couldn't quite express, and unfortunately, I couldn't quite find an outlet for them either. As a result, I found that I would often express these feelings to others. Things are different for me now, though, as I work to keep my anxiety from affecting others.
When I am referring to how I have kept my anxiety from affecting those around me, I am referring to the irritability and anger that I have often felt as a result of it. Earlier in life, I was often told that I had a "bad temper" and was quick to anger. I would always just agree with this because I wasn't sure how else to describe the intensity of the emotions that I would feel. I always just knew that I often felt like I was on edge, almost as though I was expecting something terrible to happen, and I would never be able to figure out why.
Strategies I Use to Keep My Anxiety from Affecting Others
Throughout the years, I've learned different ways to manage my anxiety when I am around others so that I am not expressing my feelings in a harsh way and so that it is not negatively impacting my relationships with others. Additionally, I've learned to manage my anxiety so that it does not impact me to the point when it is difficult to function.
First of all, to keep my anxiety from affecting others, it has become important for me to recognize when my anxiety is causing me to feel irritable to the point that I might start snapping at others. When I recognize this, I usually either take a break or, if I am with someone I am close to, I express to them that I am feeling this way, so I need to step away.
Additionally, practicing mindfulness helps me to stay grounded and focused on the moment. Anytime I start to feel myself becoming extremely anxious and agitated, I focus on grounding myself in the moment. Mindfulness allows me to feel calm and in control and prevents me from taking out my frustrations on others.
Lastly, to keep my anxiety from affecting others, I schedule time to address the issue that is making me feel stressed if I know what that is. So, for example, if there is a problem that I need to solve, I schedule time for me to focus on it, and I don't allow myself to worry about it until then. This prevents me from feeling unnecessarily frustrated when I know it is not the right time to experience that. It also prevents me from then expressing those frustrations inadvertently towards others.
Basic human decency is the glue that holds society together. It is the golden rule we were taught as children: treat others as you would like to be treated. Unfortunately, basic human decency is lacking in our world, and it affects our mental health in several ways. Let's take a look.
What Is Basic Human Decency?
I define basic human decency as treating people with kindness, respect, and empathy, irrespective of race, religion, or social class. For example, holding the door open for someone carrying bags exemplifies kindness. Respecting someone's opinion, even if it differs from yours, demonstrates respect. Offering a listening ear to a friend in need showcases empathy. Simple acts like these cultivate positive relationships and a more compassionate society.
How Does a Lack of Basic Human Decency Affect Mental Health?
Speaking from personal experience, the absence of basic human decency has impacted my mental health in the following ways:
I recently completed two rounds of interviews at a company. Only one more round was pending, after which I would get either a job offer or a rejection email. But what did the human resources person do instead? They ghosted me, leaving me with no explanation for what went wrong. Even when I sent polite and specific follow-up emails, they simply left me on Read. (I use mail-tracking software that notifies me each time someone opens my email.) I even reached out to the other point of contact, hoping for some answers, but they meted out the same silent treatment. If this doesn't exemplify a lack of basic human decency, what does?
The Importance of Practicing Basic Human Decency
Their mistreatment affected my self-worth and gave me unnecessary stress and anxiety. What's worse is that my interactions with both interviewees were pleasant, and my interviews went well, so I did not see this coming. Their incivility triggered my trust issues and made me feel incredibly lonely. And finally, since this rejection was out of the blue, I blamed myself: maybe I had done something to warrant their disrespect. My negative self-talk went through the roof, and it took me introspection and therapy to resolve all these issues. Because you guessed right: this wasn't the first employer who had pulled this stunt, and a string of similar bad experiences can affect anyone's mental health.
As you can see, a lack of basic human decency has far-reaching consequences. They say hurt people hurt people, but honestly, it doesn't take much effort to be kind. Let's do our bit to make the world a less hostile place by being decent to each other.
Hello readers, I am Kirsi Cannaday, a new writer for Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog. I am excited for the opportunity to share my experiences with anxiety. I believe that being open about our mental health battles gives us the strength to heal from them and gives others the courage to do the same.
I am 30 years old and have two beautiful little girls. I have been married for eight years, and my wonderful husband has been navigating my anxiety experience with me. It hasn’t been easy for him or me, but we’re figuring it out.
Kirsi Cannaday’s Experience with Anxiety
I was diagnosed with anxiety in my 20s after having my second child. I’ve experienced panic attacks, anxiety while driving, and the physical symptoms of anxiety like nausea, dizziness, and rapid heart rate. I’ve had times where I struggled to leave the house or accomplish simple tasks. I feel a constant mental battle with “what ifs” and “should haves” and irritability. This gets heavy sometimes. Some days are a big struggle, but I’m learning how to cope.
Kirsi Cannaday's Plans for 'Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog'
I went to therapy for anxiety and learned many tools to help me. I’ve learned some triggers for my anxiety are feeling trapped and feeling out of control. Knowing my triggers allows me to gain control when I start to feel anxious and panicked. Sharing my story with others has also been healing.
For more about me and my plans for Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog, watch this:
I hope everyone reading can learn how to use the tools I share to help them. I am excited to write about how I cope with anxiety in daily life, as well as to share hope and healing with all of you.
Pet adoption in mental illness recovery is an important decision. Pets are cute, comforting, and can be great for someone's mental health. Even last week, I saw a dog sporting his "emotional support dog" vest. Many people with mental illness find comfort in their pets, and there are many reasons why pet adoption during mental illness recovery makes sense, but the decision to bring a pet into your life can be equally amazing and stressful.
Adopting a Pet During Mental Illness Recovery
I adopted a pet during a low in my life. She's brought me great joy but has also taught me lessons on what to consider before adopting a pet in mental illness recovery, so I wanted to share my story.
Pros of Adopting a Pet During Mental Illness Recovery
Adopting a pet in mental illness recovery feels like adopting a friend. Having a companion that doesn't require social energy is highly comforting. Pets can even start to pick up on your moods, and I've found that my own cat's affection will increase as she senses when things are not right. (And it's a bit harder to wallow when I have a cat purring on top of my chest.)
A pet also brings structure. For example, a dog will need to be walked and provided exercise. What a great incentive to get out of bed, grab some fresh air, and get some steps in for the day. Since a pet requires a certain level of routine, so will the owner. This is beneficial for someone who struggles to muster up the motivation for themselves -- now there's a different motivator in the mix.
Speaking of structure, having a sense of responsibility is rewarding. There is a reason people call themselves "proud pet owners." It's because a pet is an extension of someone. Adopting a pet in mental illness recovery and then providing quality care for that pet, especially one that requires a lot of work, is something everyone should be proud of.
Cons of Adopting a Pet During Mental Illness Recovery
But responsibility isn't always easy; it usually comes with hardships. Having a pet means that there is a living, breathing thing that is now reliant on a person. That's a lot of pressure, especially for those who are at a point where they are struggling to take care of themselves.
There are financial aspects to consider when adopting a pet in mental illness recovery. I was hit with an unexpected $750 bill after taking my cat to the vet. (Don't worry, she is okay.) I hadn't been financially prepared for a situation like that. I didn't have a set savings for an emergency like this.
Additionally, adopting a pet in mental illness recovery means there needs to be a lifestyle adjustment. When there's an animal in the picture, their care needs to be considered when planning trips, late nights out, bringing over visitors, moves, and more. There is going to be a time and space commitment, especially when it comes to highly active animals, and cleaning usually becomes a more frequent chore.
Pets are often loving and affectionate and feel like part of the family. But they also require time, space, money, and effort. Pets can be an excellent addition to the lives of those recovering from mental illness, but the decision to adopt a pet in mental illness recovery should be carefully considered.
Setting boundaries is not commonly recognized to boost self-esteem, but I have found that it does. Self-esteem is integral to helping us traverse life. Navigating life with mental health challenges can be like treading water in a stormy sea. I have faced my share of turbulent waters, struggling to maintain my self-esteem amidst the chaos of emotions and thoughts. One practice that has proudly transformed my journey is setting personal boundaries. It's not just a skill; it's an act of self-love and empowerment. Setting boundaries can enhance self-esteem.
The Connection Between Setting Boundaries and Self-Esteem
Boundaries are the invisible lines that we draw around ourselves to define what is acceptable and what is not in our interactions and relationships. When we have mental health issues, these boundaries can easily blur or even disappear altogether. There once was a point in my life when I allowed others to dictate how I should feel, what I should do, and where my limits lay. This lack of boundaries left me feeling lost and disconnected from my own needs and desires.
Setting boundaries for self-esteem starts with a deep exploration of oneself. I had to identify my values, triggers, and limits. Which behaviors from others make me uncomfortable? Where do I feel most vulnerable? Answering these questions helped me recognize the areas where I needed to establish clear boundaries for my self-esteem and wellbeing.
Communicating boundaries effectively is another vital aspect. I used to fear asserting myself, worrying about disappointing or angering others. However, I have learned that healthy relationships respect boundaries. It is okay to say no, to express discomfort, or to ask for space. Setting these limits not only protects our mental health but also fosters healthier connections with those around us.
Learning to set boundaries for self-esteem was a gradual process. I started small, perhaps by asserting my preferences in simple situations. As I gained confidence, I tackled more challenging scenarios. Each successful boundary set was a victory for my self-esteem, a tangible reminder that my feelings and needs are valid and worthy of respect.
Setting Boundaries for Self-Esteem Isn't Selfish
One profound lesson that I have learned is that setting boundaries isn't selfish; rather, it is an act of self-care. By defining my limits, I am honoring my mental health and asserting my autonomy. This process has restored my sense of control over my life, reducing anxiety and boosting my self-esteem.
Of course, boundary-setting isn't always smooth sailing. I have faced pushback and discomfort along the way. Some individuals may struggle to accept our boundaries, which can be tough to navigate. However, I have found that those who truly care about me will understand and respect my needs.
Today, setting boundaries for self-esteem is an ongoing practice, a cornerstone of my mental health toolkit. It's not about building walls but about fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships with myself and others. By respecting my boundaries, I am cultivating self-esteem from within, embracing my worth, and creating a life that aligns with my values.
To anyone grappling with mental health challenges, I encourage you to explore the transformative power of setting boundaries. Start small, be patient and kind with yourself, and remember that your wellbeing matters. As you define your boundaries, you're not just protecting yourself; you're reclaiming your sense of self-worth and paving the way for a more empowered and fulfilling life.
In today's video, I share a number of examples to help you set healthy boundaries.
Coping with depression triggers generally requires practicing specific skills. It isn't always easy to continuously do so, especially when the skills should be practiced proactively. However, practicing coping skills and being self-aware of how to cope with depression triggers could help some either avoid a depressive episode or experience a less severe depressive episode.
Tips for Coping with Depression Triggers
Along my major depressive disorder recovery journey, I have come up with a few tips on coping with depression triggers that have helped me along the way and will hopefully help you.
Be Proactive with Coping Skills for Depression Triggers
First, I have found that it is essential to be self-aware and begin to recognize your most common depression triggers in order to cope with them more effectively. Is it a person, specific calendar day, holiday, place, song, movie genre, or something else? Regardless of the trigger, having coping mechanisms ready and a wellness plan in place is critical. Self-awareness is also vital.
For example, Memorial Day is coming up in a few weeks, and for many veterans, it can be a trigger for depression. Therefore, to lessen the chance of falling into depression or having a depressive episode lasting as long as it usually does, the veteran must have a depression-trigger coping plan in place. It could be having lunch or dinner with a loved one, creating a busy schedule for the day, participating in Memorial Day activities, volunteering at a hospital, or taking a self-care day. The trigger may not be overbearing if the veteran is proactive.
Be Mindful When Coping with Depression Triggers
Mindfulness is often misconstrued as meditation, but it's much more than that. Yes, meditation is a way to be mindful, but there are other ways to practice mindfulness. I know I have not perfected the art of meditation because I either fall asleep or my mind wanders all over the place. However, I think it is all about being in the moment and enjoying what life is now, not the past or future. So, even if it is just breathing exercises or standing out in nature for a few minutes, take time to stop and take a moment for yourself to reflect on the good things going on now. Look for the silver lining, per se, to be present in the now. Being mindful takes practice; it doesn't happen overnight.
Challenging Negative Thoughts When Coping with Depression Triggers
Challenging your negative thoughts stems from being mindful. For instance, when triggered, I tend to get emotional and thus tend to jump to conclusions and blow things out of proportion. Being self-aware and mindful allows me to stop and rethink how I comprehend the trigger or trauma. I have to stop and ask myself what is truthfully going on. In other words, challenging your negative thoughts means being mindful of the situation at hand and that you are in a situation where you could go into an emotional spiral if your thinking doesn't change. Changing negative thoughts when coping with depression triggers requires thinking logically. Then, much like mindfulness, it also takes a lot of practice.
Coping with depression triggers is not an easy task in any way, shape, or form. Plus, even with practice, there will be triggers that may catch us off guard. Life happens. Yet, if we are proactive and mindful and attempt to change our negative thinking into more logical thinking, we can lessen the amount and severity of future depressive episodes.
I would like to hear what you all think and if you have any tips on coping with depression triggers.
