anorexia: why we can't "just eat"

Once a rare and almost taboo problem, anorexia and anorexic behaviors run rampant. This problem doesn't just affect the culture and society of North America anymore, either. A recent study of girls in Thailand showed raising percentages of people with anorexia as usage of television increased. I am still shocked when I speak to people and almost every single one claims to have "once been anorexic" when the disorder comes up. It seems that by year 2005 just about everyone on the planet will be able to say that they too once "had" an eating disorder at some point in their lives. What is even scarier is the fact that anorexia is the leading cause of death amongst those seeking psychiatric help. The longer we lead lives of which it is becoming acceptable for children to diet at age 9, or for someone to starve for a "few days" to lose some quick weight for a date, the harder it will to fight the statistics...

I'm still not sure where my anorexia started. I guess I could pinpoint it to middle school. All of my friends were on diets and such and this one boy in gym class made a remark about my hips one day while we were playing basketball, so I decided that I'd probably be better off on a diet, too. I tried various diets and my friends and I practically poured over those stupid teen magazines trying to find the next fad, but I did lose about 10 lbs. I felt really good after that, REALLY good. I finally did something that my other friends tried and usually failed at. I figured that if I got compliments and attention after losing 10 lbs, losing 10 more would be even better...

I dieted harder and longer than those around me, which I guess should have been the first warning sign that something was wrong. Everyone else had dropped the dieting thing and had moved on to other stuff like boyfriends and sports, etc. I still continued my battle, though. I lost another 10 lbs quickly and began my own exercise regime. Running in the morning, school, then come home and run and do resistance training until nightfall, go to my bedroom and study, then god only knows how many crunches before officially going to sleep. Around that time I also discovered laxative tablets. I had been using diet pills but I constantly got too jittery in school from them, so I dropped 'em and took laxatives instead. They gave me bad cramps and gas, which I could sometimes keep away, but sometimes it was pretty severe.

I lost some more weight the next month and people started noticing that something was wrong. I could hear some of the girls sneer in the hallways, "Something HAS to be wrong with her, you just know it," but I only revelled in comments like that. It pushed me even more. This was MINE, something that only a few can "accomplish." It was MY control.

Unfortunately, the lack of nourishment took a toll on everything... It was getting harder and harder to study and concentrate in class. All I could think of was calories and food and exercise, etc. My body started to show signs that something was wrong as well. My skin turned this off-yellowish color and my hair became brittle and started falling out. Insomnia eventually set in and I got maybe 3 broken up hours of sleep a night. Inevitably the friends I had stayed away from me. I isolated myself and figured it was too much of a risk to be anywhere where there was food. So, not long after I started my "diet," here I was sitting with no friends, no sleep, my body falling apart, and my grades dropping. And I still kept on losing weight. And it's been that way since. I'm in college now, and I've been in and out of hospitals more times than I can remember, but this monster hasn't finished it's job with me. Pretty pathetic, huh? I know what I'm doing to myself, but I still can't let go.

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Do you see yourself or someone you love in the paragraphs above? It's an all too common story of how anorexia starts and can progress into a lifelong battle if not treated. Unfortunately, a lot of therapists and "outsiders" are still unaware of what just goes on with an eating disorder such as anorexia. Let me first say that an eating disorder is not about trying to merely get attention or to "not look like a woman," nor does it occur because the person is selfish or manipulative. It is, however, about control, perfection, and how unworthy the person feels deep inside.

who it strikes, why it happens, why it goes untreated, receiving treatment

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