Chapter 6: Lighten Up!

Lighten up, already! It is easy to say, but to those who are neither light nor lighthearted, those words sound about as pleasing as fingernails scratching a blackboard.

We think many parents are just too damned serious! When we tell parents to lighten up in our parenting seminars, we are often approached by serious-looking people who tell us in no uncertain terms that "Parenting is serious business! It shouldn't be taken lightly!" We are not suggesting that they take parenting lightly. We are asking them to act as if they are taking it lightly. We tell them, "Be serious about what you want; be lighthearted in the way you go about getting it."

For example, if you want your children to clean the house before Hillary Clinton comes to visit on her "Greatest Families in America" tour, you could scream, yell and threaten all sorts of torturous, horrific punishments if they don't comply. Or, you could put on the soundtrack from "The Sound of Music" and have a contest: "Aaron, Alexandria, Keith, you clean the upstairs. Ariana, Aysha and I will take the downstairs. The team that finishes first wins a trip to Dairy Queen!" You will be quite astonished that your children will appear to have grown wings on their feet where you once swore they had shoes filled with lead.

These are examples of two different ways to get the same result: The first, while it may get the house clean, reduces everyone to moaning and groaning, and threats that they will grow up and write tell-all books about what a shrew or taskmaster you were; the other, a fun lesson in teamwork, a house cleaned in half the normal time, and a good time for all when the job is done. Even the losing team gets a treat!

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