Introduction
We know the only way both you and your child will win is
for you to take care of yourself first. Sound selfish? Think about it
like this: If you are the anchor in the 400-meter relay, and you are 80 pounds
overweight, you would first have to lose the 80 pounds before you would be fit
enough to lead your team to victory. While your goal is to bring home the gold
for your team and your country, you cannot achieve this outcome until you lose
the 80 pounds. You must take care of yourself first. Only then will
your team win. The same is true of being a parent. If you want to save your
child from drowning, you must first learn how to swim. If you jump into the
pool without knowing how to perform this basic task, there will be two
drownings instead of one.
While taking care of yourself is necessary for the quality
care-taking of children, it is equally important that you understand the
concept that life is a series of acts. You do not act the same in every
situation. You act differently at church than you do at work. Parenting is one
of many acts that you will perform in your lifetime. Being a mom or dad is a
role you play, and your children are your audience. How well do you perform?
We know that it is next to impossible to run a quality act
when you are stressed and overwrought. Stress drains the energy needed to
effectively solve problems, make good decisions, and keep up with the many
demands placed on you by energetic, curious and awe-inspiring children.
We had a client named Amy who came to us in tears. She was
angry, depressed, frustrated and at her wits' end. She described her life as
follows: "I have three children ages 17, 13, and 7. I work part-time at a
job that is physically demanding and anything but mentally stimulating. I put
up with hard-to-please people all day and come home to more of the same. I
think about going back to college, but there never seems to be enough time.
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