Introduction
"My husband, Rob, makes a good living; beyond that, he
isn't much help. He doesn't understand how hard things are for me. I solve all
the family's problems; I settle all the fights. I make a hundred decisions a
day concerning my children. Sometimes it seems I drive a hundred miles a day.
It's always, `Take me here' and `Take me there,' or `My teacher says we have
to have it by tomorrow!'
"I'm just so tired. I plan all the birthday parties,
all the vacations, and all the holiday celebrations. I drive to soccer,
ballet, T-ball and gymnastics. I grocery shop, cook dinner, drive my kids to
and from school, do a million tons of laundry a week and say `yes' to all of
the things I would love to say `no' to. I usually feel I'm going to die of
exhaustion before I hit the bed. And then Rob wants attention.
"I just want everybody to be happy. But lately I'm
feeling really resentful, and that makes me feel guilty. I feel as if I'm some
kind of robot, like I'm just here to take care of everybody else. I probably
sound like I'm whining. I'm sure all mothers have to contend with the same
things. I know I'm the one who decided to have kids. I just had no idea it
would be this hard. I wish there were some way to get my life under control. I
wish I had a life of my own."
It was apparent that Amy was letting stress eat up the
valuable reserves of energy she needed to raise three energetic children. Not
only was she not getting what she wanted from her children, her husband, and
life itself, she was acting out to her children how life should be lived when they
marry and become parents. Her act was demonstrating to them that life
should be lived in a constant state of panic, confusion, frustration and
guilt. She was, in effect, laying the groundwork for their adult lives. She
was doing an excellent job of it. We gave her an A+ on her drama of suffering.
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