Same Event. . . Different Scores!

cont.

Someone has to be the first to LISTEN! That is the first step in the right direction. Really listen! When you pay attention to what your love partner is saying instead of instantly defending your position, it can change the outcome to one of understanding, acceptance and love. It is a wise partner who, in the middle of disagreement, can begin to focus on what their partner is feeling and what they are REALLY saying. Maybe, just maybe you will hear what they have been trying to tell you for a long time. Perhaps some new insights about your relationship will be discovered. Would it be worth it?

Listen to ALL your partner has to say. When it is your turn to speak, you consciously evaluate your participation in the matter. When you are tempted to spew venom, you must instantly begin mulling over several response options! This is a sign of maturity.

You know what you WANT to say because you may be angry, but instead you reinvent what you used to say by immediately constructing several better ways to say it (all this is done in several seconds), and you instantly determine which way would best help you both reach a conclusion that might avoid a major confrontation.

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You speak and watch a miracle occur right there in front of your eyes.

When you respond differently than your partner expected (based on past behavior), most likely THEY will respond likewise. It can change the outcome of the game. This new behavior is an open invitation to be on the same team.

Now you both will come up with the score because now you know the score.

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