Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

Excerpts from the Archives
of the
Narcissism List

Part 7 cont.

10. NPD and DID

I say that the narcissist vanishes and is replaced by a False Self. There is NO True Self in there. It's gone. The Narcissist is a hall of mirrors - but the hall itself is an optical illusion created by the mirrors ... This is a little like the paintings of Escher.

MPD(Multiple Personality Disorder or DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder) is more common than believed. In DID, the emotions are segregated. The notion of "unique separate multiple whole personalities" is primitive and untrue. DID is a continuum. The inner language breaks down into a polyglottal chaos. Emotions cannot communicate with each other for fear of the resulting pain (and its fatal outcomes). So, they are kept apart by various mechanisms (a host or birth personality, a facilitator, a moderator, and so on).

All PDs - except NPD - suffer from a modicum of DID, or incorporate it. Only narcissists don't. This is because the narcissistic solution is to emotionally disappear so thoroughly that not one personality/emotion is left. Hence, the tremendous, insatiable need of the narcissist for external approval. He exists ONLY as a reflection. Since he is forbidden from loving his self - he chooses to have no self at all. It is not dissociation - it is a vanishing act.

This is why I regard pathological narcissism as THE source of all PDs. The total, "pure" solution is NPD: self extinguishing, self abolishing, totally fake. Then come variations on the self hate and perpetuated self abuse theme: HPD (NPD with sex/body as the source of the narcissistic supply), BPD (lability, movement between poles of life wish and death wish), and so on.

Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago. They are the true zombies of the world. Read vampire and zombie legends and you will see how narcissistic these creatures are.

11. Plasticity

You are assuming that brains are rigid. But recent research shows that brains are more plastic than we imagined. So, genetic predisposition, abuse, trauma, and neglect mould the brain at an early stage. But some of it seems to be reversible. I was subjected to abuse. I did turn out to be a monster. Then I had a life crisis of all-pervasive proportions.  And now, I am the same BUT I channel my propensities positively. I am looking for narcissistic supply by helping others. I am empathizing through my overpowering (malignant) intellect. PDs are VESSELS, bottles and pots -  you can fill them with any wine or food you want.

Take a psychopath: he can put his disorder at the service of a higher cause (military, secret service, fighting the bad guys). Take a narcissist: he can obtain narcissistic supply by helping others and thus securing their praise.

12. A Core of Values?

I, for one, DO share the BELIEF that there is a core of values, inalienable and universal, culture independent, period independent, and society independent.

This is a highly disputable contention in modern moral philosophy.

But even if we accept it, the problem, of course, is to AGREE what values belong to this core. I think "Thou shalt not kill" belongs to it. I believe almost everyone will agree with me. Admittedly, the "almost" is there but it is very negligible.

I don't think one can claim the same universal status for incest. There have been many cultures in which it has been the norm (within certain classes). There is a substantial minority who believe that, in this day and age, with contraceptives, if two consenting adults who happen to share 50% of their genetic material, wish to engage in sex, they should not be condemned, or at least not stopped. I think otherwise (for very pragmatic reasons) - but there ARE those who think differently.

13. Licensing Parents (continued)

I once suggested half-jokingly that parents should not be allowed to become parents unless and until they are:

1. Educated by professionals to become parents

2. Tested and get some "on the job" training under supervision (an internship)

3. Tested for medical (and mental health) eligibility

4. Licensed with the licence renewed periodically

We licence people to drive lorries and sell groceries. Presumably there is nothing more important (socially and morally) than child rearing, yet this field of human life and endeavour is wide open to anyone, regardless of the consequences to the off-spring.

Of course this opens up a can of moral, ethical  and philosophical worms (in whom or what shall the authority to licence parents be vested? What moral criteria should be applied? Is the right to breed inalienable? and so on). But the idea is intriguing and not entirely without merit. After all, it is society that bears the cost of parental incompetence.

I wholeheartedly agree that ONLY parents are to BLAME for abuse and neglect. I take back my unfortunate use of the words "genetic propensity" or disposition of the infant not to attach. This would be a highly unlikely event (counter-survival, as it were). I modify this and now talk about "warm" or "detached or cold" babies (or social and asocial ones).

But I never intended to apportion blame. I wanted to discuss TRIGGERS, not who is guilty, WHY - not WHO. I offered an OBSERVATION that some babies do not attach, not an idea that they are to be blamed for their own abuse. Mothers consistently and insistently claim that their babies have a "character" almost immediately after being born. They probably are projecting (this has never been proven, to the best of my limited knowledge, though). OR, they might be on to something. Whatever it is - it might trigger abuse and neglect if there is incompatibility between mother and child.

I was NOT referring to innate differences in children, or even to the perception of such differences (if they do exist and are not merely projective in nature). I was talking about the perception of these differences as a TRIGGER to abuse and neglect. And I was not talking about theorizing but about research, experimentation, "hard" "facts".

14. Nations as Patients

Sometimes I think that a new branch of psychology should be created: "geopsychology". I believe that nations and ethnic groups react as individuals do. Having been subjected to abuse/trauma, a nation or an ethnic group is likely to develop a personality disorder. This is NOT stereotypizing. To stereotypize is to believe that you know everything about an individual from his/her national, or racial, or ethnic, or social, or cultural affiliation. I reject this. Each of us is a universe unto itself. Only some of us have black holes in our midst, or a nebula. I believe that the application of individual-orientated psychological theories and treatment methods to nations and ethnic groups should not be ruled out. 

15. Narcissistic Myths

I have to dispel two hidden assumptions. The first is that there is such thing as a typical narcissist. Well, there is, but one must specify whether we are dealing with a cerebral narcissist or a somatic one.

A cerebral narcissist uses his intelligence to obtain narcissistic supply. A somatic narcissist uses his body, his looks and his sexuality to do likewise. Inevitably, each type is likely to react very differently to a narcissistic injury brought about by an accident.

Somatic narcissists are a variation upon the HPD theme. They are seductive, provocative and  obsessive - compulsive when it comes to their bodies, their sexual activities, their health (they are likely to be hypochondriacs as well).

The second "myth" is that narcissism is an isolated phenomenon that can be distilled and dealt with in purity in the laboratories of the mind. This is not the case. Actually, due to the fuzziness of the whole field, diagnosticians are both forced AND encouraged to render multiple diagnoses ("co-morbidity"). NPD usually appears in tandem with some other Cluster B disorder (such as AsPD, HPD or, most often, BPD).

Narcissists VERY rarely commit suicide. It runs against the grain. They have suicidal ideation and reactive psychoses under severe stress - but to commit suicide runs against the grain of narcissism. This is more a BPD trait. A differential diagnosis of NPD actually almost rests on the absence of attempted suicide and self-mutilation.

In response to a life crisis (divorce, disgrace, imprisonment, accident, and severe narcissistic injuries) the narcissist is likely to adopt either of two reactions:

EITHER

1. To finally refer himself to therapy, realizing that something is very wrong or dangerously wrong with him. Statistics show that all types of therapies are very ineffective when it comes to narcissists. Soon enough, the therapist is bored, fed up or actively repelled by the grandiose fantasies and open contempt of the narcissist. The therapeutic alliance crumbles and the narcissist emerges "triumphant" having depleted the therapist's energy.

OR

2. To frantically grope for alternative sources of narcissistic supply.

Narcissists are very creative. If all else fails, they exhibitionistically make use of their own misery (as I do). Or they lie, create a fantasy, invent stories, harp on other people's emotions, forge a medical condition, pull a stunt, fall in ideal love with the chief nurse, make a provocative move or a crime. The narcissist is bound to come up with a surprising angle.

Experience shows that most narcissists go through (a) and then through (b).

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