Malignant Self Love -
Narcissism Revisited
UNIQUENESS AND INTIMACY
Chapter 2
page 2
We can distinguish three types of Sexual Communicators (and
hence, the same number of modes of sexual communications):
-
The Emotional-Sexual Communicator
– is, first, attracted sexually to his potential mate.
He then proceeds to examine how compatible they are and only
then does he fall in love and engage in sexual intercourse.
He forms a relationship that is based on a perception of the other as a whole,
as an amalgam of attributes.
His relationships last a reasonable period of time and they disintegrate as
incremental changes in the psychological make up of the two parties encroach
upon their mutual appreciation and create emotional deficiencies and hunger
which can be satisfied only by again resorting to the outer world.
-
The Transactional Sexual Communicator
– first examines whether he and the prospective mate are mutually compatible.
If he finds compatibility, he proceeds to test the mate
sexually and then forms habits, which, put together, present a fair
resemblance of love, though a dispassionate one.
He forms relationships with people he judges to be reliable partners and good
friends. Only a modicum of desire and passion is added to this brew – but its
mettle is, usually, very strong and relationships formed on these bases are
the longest.
-
The Purely Sexual Communicator
– is first, attracted sexually to his potential mate.
He then proceeds to sexually explore and test the
counter-party.
This interaction leads to the development of an emotional
correlate, partly the result of habit forming.
This communicator has the shortest, most disastrous
relationships. He treats his mate as he would an object or a function. With
him, the problem is a saturation of experiences.
As any addict would do – he has to increase the dose as he proceeds and this
tends to severely destabilise his relationships.
Summary Table: Types
of Communicators
| Type of Communicator /
characteristics |
Purely Sexual |
Emotional-Sexual |
Transactional |
| Strength of Relationship
|
WEAK: alternation, strong
motivation, low stimulus threshold |
MEDIUM: emotion decays. New,
strong, stimulus required |
STRONG: rare compatibility
ensures negative results of severance of relationship
|
| Main plane and means of
examination |
PHYSICAL: looks, smell,
colours, voice, sex |
EMOTIONAL: interaction,
introspection and observation |
COMPATIBILITY: (preferences,
opinions, sex, future plans)
conversations
|
| Filtering |
Sex-Emotion-Compatibility
|
Emotion-Sex-Compatibility
|
Compatibility-Sex-Emotion
|
| Compromise Zones |
Compatibility (fragility of
relationships) |
Compatibility (equilibrium
between emotion and compatibility violated during decay
of relationship) |
Sex (sexual compromises do
not affect compatibility and emotions) |
| Control, regulation and
examination axes |
External-External (2 human
bodies, sexual technique) |
Internal-External (bodily
contact - another way to express emotions) |
Internal-Internal |
| Decay Pattern |
Interest wanes when
alternative found |
Emotional stabilisation,
decay of interest, alternative found |
Change in determining
parameter of a member of the couple |
| Plane of Interaction |
Conscious, bodily parameters,
signal communication |
Near conscious and
unconscious, mixed (bodily and verbal) parameters, mixed
(signal and verbal) communication |
Conscious, verbal parameters,
verbal communication |
| Types of Communicators
|
Primary: Sexual,
Secondary:
Emotional |
Primary: Emotional
Secondary:
Sexual or Transactional (rare) |
Primary: Transactional
Secondary:
Sexual or Emotional (rare) |
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