Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

THE EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT
PREVENTIVE MEASURES

Chapter 8

page 3

Mental Map # 9

SEGO (ideal, sadistic, tough, punishing, offensive)
interacts with a HYPERCONSTRUCT one
of whose components is:
The TEGO (really a child)
The SEGO interacts with TEGO
through the exportation of aggression
and the importation of obsessive-compulsive behaviours
(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – OCD).
SEGO employs EIPM to ensure punishment
through loss and hurt.
Another component of the Hyperconstruct is the FEGO.
FEGO employs the intellect and an array
of defence mechanisms.
FEGO imports Libido from the ID
(another component of the Hyperconstruct)
FEGO imports drives from the ID
FEGO exports PNSS and SNSS to the OBJECTS
(OBJECTS = partner, business, money, friends,
social framework, etc.)
FEGO imports losses, which are devoid
of hurt, from OBJECTS
(The hurt is neutralised by initiating the losses
and abandonment).
FEGO ("Wonder") and TEGO ("Boy")
form Wonderboy, a Mask.
The WUNDERKIND MASK deflects the hurt emitted
by the SEGO following losses and abandonment.
When PNSS/SNSS are lost, FEGO experiences
Loss Dysphoria and Deficiency Dysphoria
FEGO activates the Reactive Repertoire to escape the hurt.
Libido is allocated to FEGO to look for
new PNSS and SNSS.

But what happens if the NSS (spouse, workplace) insist upon having a meaningful emotional involvement (e.g., the spouse insists upon being loved and upon more intimacy)?

In other words, what happens if someone close wants to penetrate the masks, to see what is (rather who is) behind them?

At this stage the Wunderkind mask is already active. It allows the narcissist to receive without giving, or investing, emotionally. But if the mask is flooded by emotions emanating from an outside object, it ceases to function. It becomes a perfect child on the one hand (totally helpless and frightened) and a perfect genius on the other hand (with a defective reality test). The weakening of the mask permits direct contact between SEGO and object and the commencement of externalised transformations of aggression, all directed at the object.

The object is stunned by the apparently inexplicable change in the narcissist's mood and behaviour. It tries to weather the storm in the hope that this is a transient phenomenon. Only when the aggression persists does the object abandon the narcissist, thus causing a severe narcissistic injury and forcing upon the narcissist painful transition and adaptation to the new situation in which he is devoid of his SNSS. The object flees the SEGO. The narcissist is left feeling very envious of the object because he can avoid the monster that lurks inside the narcissist – the SEGO.

The failure of the masks means full emotional involvement, SEGO-originated aggression, and the certainty of abandonment with a full-fledged narcissistic hurt, which could even threaten the narcissist's life.

Another thing that we can learn from this model is how the narcissist's attitude to objects changes when a dwindling of the PNSS is palpable. The narcissist begins then to rely more heavily on the SNSS' accumulated supply. He rehashes and recycles the images stored in the SNSS' "memory" until they are worn thin and lose most of their freshness and meaning. As no new supply is forthcoming because of the gradual disappearance of PNSS, the reservoir is not replenished and becomes stale. The FEGO becomes weakened and undernourished and a direct contact between SEGO and objects is made possible by this infirmity. This has the same consequences as before. Only this time the SEGO's aggression is directed at the TEGO as well.

SEGO and the Hyperconstruct (TEGO-FEGO-ID together with the Wunderkind Mask) are engaged in constant, energy consuming, warfare to obtain access to objects. The Hyperconstruct gains the upper hand when the FEGO is fortified by Narcissistic Supply coming from a variety of PNSS and SNSS.

When SEGO wins, a deep emotional involvement is formed, anxiety is aroused because of the anticipation of the SEGO's future sadistic actions, and the narcissist engages in compulsive acts to channel the anxiety and to neutralise it. SEGO directs aggression and its transformations at the objects and they react by fighting back, injuring the narcissist in the process. Finally the objects, hurt and dejected, abandon the narcissist, or the common framework (the business, the workplace), or change to such a degree that it amounts to emotional abandonment.

The FEGO experiences a thorough and dangerous narcissistic injury.

To avoid the emotional consequences of a possible victory of the SEGO, the Hyperconstruct activates a series of mechanisms, attitudes, and behaviour patterns. They are all intended to assist the narcissist in "keeping his distance" in order to protect him from emotional hurt. The Wunderkind mask leads to a considerable (and discernible) infantilisation of the narcissist and to a gradual loss of his grasp on reality. When the objects react with abandonment, the narcissistic hurt is thus made lighter and more tolerable.

But there is a deeply embedded conflict in the narcissist's personality.

The SEGO craves for meaningful emotional involvement. Its externalised aggression transformations are most effective precisely when there is such an involvement. The effectiveness of its punishment is thus enhanced and the pain is bound to be larger and life threatening. Deep inside, the SEGO believes the narcissist does not deserve to live. The aggression that the narcissist transforms and stores is of lethal proportions. The narcissist wanted the most sacred figures in his life dead and he believes that he deserves to die for it. The SEGO is a constant reminder of this and an executioner.

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