Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

GRANDIOSE LOSS OF CONTROL

Chapter 9

page 1

What happens if the narcissist fails to find Narcissistic Supply Source (NSS)?

This precipitates a narcissistic crisis. The narcissist becomes more desperate and more compulsive in looking for his drug. The more he fails, the more he is hurt and he expresses his emotional turmoil by acting out.

Moreover, the absence of SNSS or their deficiency coupled with a narcissistic crisis increase the fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply and widen the Grandiosity Gap (between the grandiose fantasies of the narcissist and his less than glamorous reality). This volatility erodes his self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. The narcissist is devalued and reduced to depressions and doubts.

In other words: the gap between his grandiose fantasies and reality is so wide that the FEGO narcissistic defence mechanisms can no longer be maintained even with the use of strong repression and denial.

This sets two defence reactions going. Their aim is to stabilise the Narcissistic Supply and to reduce the volatility:

1. The Reactive Repertoire is reawakened (encouraging the narcissist to escape from the scene of the failure and thus to create an alibi for future failure).

2. An increase in the consumption of PNSS (if SNSS are deficient) or of SNSS (if PNSS are deficient).

This last measure does stabilise the situation in the short run but it has a destabilising effect in the longer run.

All this is done mainly to protect the FEGO. The narcissist "knows" that if the FEGO is effected too badly the ability of the Hyperconstruct to resist the punitive influence of the SEGO dwindles and the both TEGO and the narcissist's relations with outside objects are in danger.

In the absence of SNSS, an increase in the consumption of randomly available PNSS leads to an enhanced volatility of the Narcissistic Supply up to the point of a collapse of the Hyperconstruct including the eminently important FEGO.

This opens the way to a tyranny of the SEGO, which could usher in an era of suicidal tendencies.

From a psychodynamic point of view, when the Narcissistic Supply is not stabilised and its volatility increases, the result is an oscillation between over-valuation or idealisation (the outcome of grandiose fantasies) and under-valuation and even de-valuation (the result of the confrontation between the grandiose fantasies and unkind reality, the Grandiosity Gap). Gradually, the effects of the PNSS are lessened. This type of NSS is not stable – precisely why a function of accumulation is required. The release of accumulated Narcissistic Supply smoothes the supply derived from PNSS by equally distributing it over time. The devaluing pole of the fluctuation erodes the narcissist's self-image, self-esteem and self-confidence. This weakens the FEGO considerably and the SEGO takes over with its double-pronged action:

1. It attacks the TEGO, provoking dysphoria and depressive anhedonia in the process. It devalues the narcissist's self-worth and self-image, it provokes self-hatred and self-loathing, which lead to self-destruction and to suicidal ideation.
   Suicide cannot be ruled out in such a case.

2. It attacks the objects in the narcissist's life. It repels them by externalising depression and self-destructive urges, by "spoiling" good feelings and achievements, by fostering compulsive acts, by extrovert transformations of aggression (envy, boredom, rage, cynicism), by displaying emotional platitude, by avoiding sex.

The next phase is comprised of rebellious acts against authority figures and institutions, delinquency and sabotage.

But this battle and the arsenal of weaponry used in it are a reflection of deeper trends in the soul of the narcissist.

The narcissist transforms his life into his single biggest creative act. In other words, the narcissist is an actor (FEGO) whose creation is the his own life. He adapts the narrative to the various audiences. There is, actually, no discernible, identifiable, single narcissist. He has no volume, or even existence.

This constant acting creates – both in the narcissist and in his variable audiences – feelings of deceit, falsity, vacillating moods, a multi-layered existence, hiding, crookedness and evil mysteriousness. SNSS are frustrated by this and behave as though they are faced with a vague threat.

Life as a work of art (instead of art as part of a biography) is an element of the "virtual normalcy" mechanism (simulated normal functioning). The narcissist assembles whereas others create, cohabits instead of sharing, establishes and runs "Potemkin" businesses and indulges in bogus fantasies instead of doing the real thing. He pursues PNSS (publicity) in lieu of professional reputation and standing.

The narcissist does not realise his potentials because he needs to use objects to do so. But he avoids objects in order to forestall self-destruction (which might be inflicted in the wake of an emotional or narcissistic hurt following abandonment). This is not self-destruction – this is self-preservation. One can convincingly argue that the narcissist's self-destructive streak is better manifested in the methods that he employs to obtain NSS.

The narcissist assumes that he is so unique that his uniqueness should suffice to establish his position even without the added arguments of his creations or achievements (art, children, home, business, a relationship). He is worthy of Narcissistic Supply (adulation, attention) and of special treatment by virtue of his very existence and of the complexity and uniqueness of his biography. This way, of course, no narcissistic hurt is possible. The narcissist never invests in anything and never perseveres – so he never gets emotionally attached to anything.

Still, we must differentiate between the actor's (FEGO's) ROLE and his FUNCTION (the function of the whole personality, or of TEGO).

The FEGO's role involves low emotional investment and emphasises on yields in terms of Narcissistic Supply and the consumption of that supply. It is characterised by ego-dystony.

The TEGO's function calls for a high level of emotional involvement, yields in terms of Narcissistic Supply are a marginal consideration and there is high ego-syntony.

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