PAEMS

Panic Anxiety Education
Management Services

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Resistance (part 1)

The issues presented deal with how to reduce stress and anxiety within our lives. The underlying message in all of this is that each of us were born to live. A simple statement on the surface and quite obvious. However, there is so much power contained within this statement. We were born to LIVE. If we are caught in the webs of anger, inner critic, guilt cycle, anxiety cycle, low self-esteem, then our ability to truly live is limited. We are the wild birds caught in a cage. Sure we go through the motions of living, but we are not really alive. We are not free. We are looking at life through the bars of the cage. If there is one goal, one wish we would want for ourselves and for others, it is that we experience being fully alive. That we live.

This gift of life is limited in a time perspective and so makes the goal of living even more pronounced. This life we are given will end somewhere down the road. We can cherish every step we take on that road. The other point about our life is that it was given to us. It is our life ... not our parent's, not our friend's, not our enemy's, not our family's, not our boss's, not everyone else's ... it is ours. It is for us, and us alone, to decide the path that our life will take.

If we subdivide our life up and give responsibility for it to others, we, in effect, lose our life. If we take responsibility for our life, we open ourselves to a wonderful, often painful, often joyful journey. Number one on the resistance list is take responsibility for our lives. Sure it is easier to give up that responsibility to others. The easy path is sometimes the most destructive to us. We often like others making decisions for us, telling us what to do and when and how to do it. This is giving up power though. To live as fully as we can, we need to take on and feel our own power. A power that roars like thunder.

Once we do decide to take the reins on our own life, then we need to go in search of the dragon that stands between us and life. That dragon is known by the name of ... the mind. The mind can be a very powerful tool when it is under our control. When we are under it's control ... then it becomes the dragon. It becomes the cage, it becomes the web that traps us.

The mind is infinitely fascinating when we start to learn about it and how it works in our perception of what life is. There are many aspects that exist within all of us. The mind is also the greatest game player. It works out tricks and plans to achieve what it wants to achieve. If we are unaware of our true relationship with the mind, we may carry on business associating ourselves as the mind.

The mind says to us "You are so lazy" or "You can never get it right" and we nod our heads agreeing with these statements as if they were the ultimate truth. Unconsciously we agree with every thing the mind states and assume we are saying it to ourselves.

If we have meditated, it is clear that once the thoughts have died down - we still exist. We become awareness. When we are aware, the separation between us and thoughts is quite apparent. We are not our thoughts. We can chose which of the millions of thoughts that the mind throws out that we will take on board. Also, the mind is very limited. That is, it is a basic memory storage system. It contains all the experiences of the past, all the things that have been said to us, all the painful outcomes of events, all our reactions and emotions to certain events. Basically, it records our state of being on the physical, emotional and thought levels to external and internal stimuli.

When the external world mirrors a past event, it pulls up that past record and reminds us how we reacted the last million times. The mind will tell us: "You got angry" in this situation last time so here we go - the anger tape is pulled out.

Haven't we often wondered why people seem to repeat the same behaviour time-after-time and never seem to change. It is because we are all programmed to react and act certain ways to certain situations. We clean the house a certain way, we shop a certain way, we act a certain way with different people, we dress a certain way, we have our daily routine, we react to life the way we are programmed. When we are not aware of this process, the mind is free to tell us how we will act or react to certain situations. And we will. The mind says, "we wash the cutlery first and that's what we do." We never question. That's how we have done it time-and time-again and that is that.

We replay the past over-and-over again in the present. The programming can get nasty if we are programmed to repeat very negative ways of being. The person that is trapped in one abusive relationship after another. The person that is a perfectionist (well the mind tells them they must be) and is driven to perform "perfectly" efficient tasks. The person that can't seem to stop for one minute to relax but needs to be busy all the time. It is the mind driving the car. We are the passengers.

The mind will drive endlessly around the one known area, but fears to venture onto unknown roads and countryside. Pretty boring really. It's like we decide to go on a family outing and drive around the one circuit continually. This is the mind. It doesn't care if it is boring or limited or lifeless ... it is known. That is all that matters.

The mind, also being in essence a product of the past, will throw up past events for us to ponder over. While we exist physically in the present moment, the mind is back in the past. As we associate ourselves with the mind we are dragged back with it and so we go over and over some irritating event. He said, she said and then they did .... We can spent a full day going over-and-over one past event. We react again-and-again to that too. We get angry remembering the injustice or disrespect. We get guilty over that event. The event is past, but the mind throws it up on the TV screen of our mind and see relive it blow-by-blow, over-and-over. We add in a few "If only's.." and there goes the present moment down the drain.

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