Memories of Trauma Effect on Anxiety

This comment came from a reader, Nikky44 who lived through the Lebanese war. I had an explanation that I thought I'd share with all of you.

I was discussing this morning with my sister some events of the past. We both noticed having the same memories of the same events, but the parts each one of us remembered is different, opposite. If we think for example of the day of an explosion, she would remember how we escaped, and all the positive side of it, I would remember the fear, the destruction, the death. I don’t know how to explain that now.

Memories of Trauma

There are so many things to remember from an event. And our memory gets processed from our story of the event, how we view it, how we view the world, and how we view ourselves. If we see ourselves as less than or a victim, or unworthy, we would remember those parts of the event that went along with that story. Nikky44 remembers the scary parts because she spent so much of her life living in abuse, before and after the explosion. (The voices of her abusers have made her afraid because that is how they hold power.)

Changing the Effects of Trauma

Having been hurt and violated, she sees the fearful things more readily. She knows pain, and she feels worthlessness down to her tippy toes. It is hard not to see the world through these glasses. It is hard not to see her traumatic memories through these glasses. I've gotten to know Nikky44 since she has been reading and commenting on my blogs for a year. I know this has been changing during this time as she is starting to see herself in a new light.

Her kindness and love towards others is overwhelming and she is starting to turn that back in to herself for the first time in forever. She did this by believing in herself. Surprised? Seems like a far jump? First she began by trusting others who believed in her. In these 12 months she has come so far!

As this continues to shift it will be beneficial for her to take a new look at traumatic events during the war and start to re-story–maybe with her sister's help–the other half of her memory. The story of survival, escape, and relief. When doing this, she would recognize that she did something to enable that survival, and that action says something about what she holds precious. She would see that she held it precious all of this time, despite the abuse and war.

Then, knowing what she gives value to, she can create a new identity for herself, instead of Victim and Fearful. She can be "quick thinker" or "caregiver" or "problem solver."

From here she would view the memories and herself in the past and in the present differently. Her memories will be whole and represent all of her instead of a just a story of fear.

Do you have any memories to re-story?

By Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I blog here: Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace
and here: Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog,
share here: Twitter@JodiAman, Google+
inspire here: Facebook: Heal Now and Forever Be in Peace,
Get my free E-book: What Is UP In Your DOWN? Being Grateful in 7 Easy Steps.