I Can't Keep Calm Because I Have Anxiety. Say What?
Have you seen those posters or t-shirts that read: “I Can’t Stay Calm Because I Have Anxiety”? They’re a play off the trendy t-shirts, posters and other items with the royal crown and the directive to “keep calm and…”.
As those of us who experience any form of anxiety are aware, merely reading a sign that tells us to "keep calm" is too simple—easier said than done. On the other hand, don’t believe “I Can’t Keep Calm Because I Have Anxiety.” It’s just not true!
How Do You Keep Calm With Anxiety?
[caption id="attachment_1281" align="alignright" width="224" caption="Anxiety is a bully that wants you to think you aren't in control."]
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To be sure, there’s a lot to “keeping calm.” It’s tricky. However, to believe the assertion in the image here, that “I can’t keep calm because of anxiety, would be tragic. The statement implies that anxiety has complete control over us. That’s simply not true. It is possible to keep calm despite anxiety, even near-debilitating anxiety. Here’s why:
Statements such as “I can’t keep calm because I have anxiety” are the results of our thoughts playing tricks on us.
Anxiety is real. It isn’t something we’re talking ourselves into. But it doesn’t have to rule us, like a queen with her crown. When we’re in a situation that makes us fearful or fills us with dread, anxiety symptoms skyrocket. Our thoughts about the situation matter. We can work with our minds to think in new ways, to think about the situation differently. That way, when our anxiety hits, we don’t have to give into it. We can keep calm.
Don't Let Anxiety Bully You
Stay Calm
In telling us we can’t keep calm, that we don’t have a say in the matter, anxiety is being a bully.
Did you ever have a playground bully? Or perhaps currently a workplace bully or a neighborhood bully? I did. Do. If you did/do, too, think about said bullies. What were they like? Mine wanted to feel superior and to intimate and to control and to get their way and to push me aside so they could do whatever they wanted. Sound familiar? Sound at all like anxiety? When we let anxiety rule us, we’re acting as our own worse bully. I don’t want to be told that I can’t be calm. Perhaps you, too, are tired of being bullied by anxiety.
Keeping Calm Despite Anxiety
There are ways to reduce the power of the anxiety bully. Stare her down. When she tells you to rev up rather than calm down, stare her in the face and tell her why you really can handle an intimidating situation. Come up with as many reasons as you can. Another way to deal with the anxiety bully within? Ignore him. Take away his power. Yes, the symptoms of anxiety are hard to ignore, but when we focus on all the strengths we have that allow us to survive, we aren’t focusing so much on the bully.
As a bully, anxiety likes to hang around. But we don’t have to give the bully power over us. We can keep calm despite our anxiety. How do you stare down your anxiety bully?
You can also connect with Tanya J. Peterson on her website, Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Pinterest.
APA Reference
Peterson, T.
(2013, October 23). I Can't Keep Calm Because I Have Anxiety. Say What?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2013/10/how-to-keep-calm-dont-let-anxiety-bully-you
Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
What about severe morning anxiety that makes you feel like you’re losing you mind. I have this for the last 4 months every day n i dread each day now n it doesn’t really lift until late afternoon if at all?
I have anxiety, but I like the shirt. It's another way of letting others know that they're not the only ones
I can face anxiety, isn't it? But everything has a price tog to it. You are always going to handle anxiety, put up the price!
Hello David,
You are quite right. Everything in life does have some sort of a price tag, be it effort or a trade-off of some sort, actual financial cost, etc. The decisions we make for our own lives are very personal. We can indeed choose to face anxiety, and then we can decide what we need to do to get there. It's a process, but one worth doing.
Yes anxiety is a difficult to defeat... If thats what our choice.. It just like a exam in school if you don't mastred the tactics then you will be failed! But if you mastered if ans know the tactics you will passed! Just like anxiety we just have to understand and mastered so we can survive!
Hi Claire!
What a great analogy! In many ways, anxiety is similar to tests in school (which of course can be anxiety-provoking). As difficult and daunting as any school test may be, it is possible to take control over it by learning and studying and preparing and persevering. This works for anxiety, too, and we can understand it, master it, and survive! Thank you for sharing your insight.
Anxiety robs one of being centered and composed. Its robs one of sleep and correct thinking. It is a bully and people should get more tips on keeping it at bay.....we need more pep statements to fight this...
You're so right -- it does rob us of things like sleep and correct thinking. Thanks for mentioning the need for more tips and statements. I like knowing what people might find helpful. It helps reduce my anxiety! :)
Interesting post. Keeping calm is just so difficult to implement with an anxiety disorder. No doubt. And yes, for every problem there is a solution. I hope that I'm able to apply the tactics to stay calm and some have been able to do. But trying to stay calm has become a stressor and the idea isn't very relaxing :)
I agree that just "trying" to stay calm is indeed stressful. When we think we have to do something or should be able to do something, it creates something like performance anxiety. I'm hopeful that Anxiety Schmanxiety will continue to be a helpful resource and forum for discussion.