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Anxiety-Schmanxiety

There are many pitfalls to being a person living with an anxiety disorder. The mental, physical, and emotional tolls that it takes to live with this disorder is, at times, heartbreaking. Anxiety tells me everyone hates me, it panics me, and it embarrasses me. In the midst of high anxiety and/or panic attacks, it causes me to appear distant, uninterested, or even makes me appear to be ignoring someone. An ill-timed panic attack, for example, at a first meeting, can make it appear that I am a snob.
Anxiety can be overwhelming, impacting us in every way imaginable – physically, emotionally, cognitively, and socially. It can range from mild to debilitating, and no matter to what degree we experience anxiety, it affects the quality of our lives. Happily, there are many things that can be done to treat anxiety. One way is through anxiety medication (but medication is not for everyone). There are so many different types of anxiety medication available; though, just contemplating whether or not to try antianxiety medication can itself be anxiety-provoking (list of anxiety medications). It's an individual decision that can only be made with a doctor. Here are some important things to consider as you talk to your doctor about anxiety medication.
I have experienced more panic attacks than I can count. On average, I have one panic attack per week, and that is after panic attack treatment. Before I knew what was happening to me, I was experiencing panic attacks multiple times per week. Because I am a social person, I often experience these attacks around other people. This has made me very good at explaining, in layman’s terms, exactly what a panic attack is.
Anxiety can be incredibly exhausting. Anxiety can us down physically and emotionally. One reason anxiety is so taxing is that, once in our mind, it takes almost complete control. Fears and worries grow and they stick. It’s a vicious cycle: anxiety makes us worry, and the more we worry, the bigger anxiety grows, and the bigger it grows, the more we worry. However, even when anxiety grows so large it threatens to consume us, there is a way to shrink it back.
A diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or having panic attacks doesn’t automatically mean there will be a co-occurring diagnosis of depression. However, many people with an anxiety diagnosis do suffer from clinical depression, even if only from time-to-time. In my case, I have both bipolar and anxiety disorders. Like many others, I have found that serious anxiety can lead to depression.
I hear an anxious voice in my head. The voice I hear is not related to psychosis, but speaks to me loudly and clearly nevertheless. The anxious voice in my head belongs to anxiety, and its running commentary on what I'm doing wrong never seems to shut up.
My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar and anxiety disorders. As a public speaker and writer using my lived experience with mental illness, I say that sentence often. Some version of that is on my business card and website and it is how I start most of my speeches. But, is that my identity? Is a set of diagnoses really who I am?
Last weekend, I had a conversation with a good friend. The conversation involved a disagreement, and I honestly thought I might have a heart attack. I don’t disagree well. Doing so increases my anxiety, sometimes to panic attack proportions. Typically, I change the subject or, better yet, excuse myself and run. This time, though, I stuck it out. One, the woman is a good friend who is used to me, and two, the subject was anxiety. I wanted to stick around for that discussion. The essence of the debate was this: can anxiety be accepted as part of who one is and thus shoved to the background of existence and be practically ignored, or is anxiety bigger than that, something that cannot, will not, be accepted and ignored?
As one of the resident anxiety bloggers here at HealthyPlace, I spend a fair bit of time thinking about anxiety disorders. Between living with anxiety, talking to others who live with anxiety, writing about anxiety, and reading about anxiety, I have amassed quite a bit of knowledge. This is good, because I get a lot of questions. Among them: What is an anxiety trigger? What causes triggers? How can anxiety triggers be avoided? Unfortunately, there is no real, concrete “answer” to any of those questions, save for the first one. We can define what an anxiety trigger is.
Mental Illness Awareness Week 2014 continues. The week means slightly different things to different people (as in specific awareness, the attitude behind the desire for awareness, etc.) To me, it means something relatively simple. It means looking at people in a new way, leading to a new understanding of them as human beings. Mental illness happens to be part, just part, of who they/we are. Awareness of the whole package brings understanding of the whole person.