Last week, I was interviewed on the news. This is beyond anything I usually do. As a counselor, I usually sit in a room with one or two people. Listening is much more important than talking in that context, so I am not very experienced at sounding poised. I don't think ideas come out of my mouth as smoothly as someone who teaches or speaks regularly. So this was daunting. I just pictured myself "um"ing and "uh"ing, forgetting what I am saying. I was scared. This was way out of my comfort zone. So why didn't I just avoid it?

Sometimes people can feel lonely in a crowded room and others can feel totally comfortable home alone all day. Being alone is not inherently an issue. Many ancient sages or meditation masters can be alone and content. But this might be after they have gone beyond individual ego, and no longer feel separation from Oneness of the universe. But for most of us humans, biologically and emotionally, we are social beings. We live in a communities because we need to. We can't do everything alone. We need help. Collaboration is our biggest survival skill. Our species would die off without it. It's natural to feel loneliness when you feel apart from your community (Loneliness and What To Do About Loneliness).

Getting from anxiety to adventure is not a very far leap, even though it may seem to be. Looking at things from different angles give us different meanings of the same event. The meanings we give these events make all of the difference in how we feel and think about ourselves and the world.

The very first assistant I hired never made a mistake on my schedule, and my clients loved her because she was so kind with them on the phone. She had great ideas and an ability to find the answer to a problem no matter how long it took. The problem was that it took forever. Everything took forever. Nothing was ever done because she did it over and over to get it just right.  At the same time, she had trouble showing up. Yes, I mean she often didn't come to work. If she couldn't come on time and perfectly ready to work, she didn't come. And anything and everything was an excuse. Her perfectionism made her unable to function. Let go of perfectionism: it is grossly inefficient and could get you fired.

Fill in the blank. Commit. Take action toward that goal. On Facebook, I saw someone who wrote as their status: "Today, I will______ without fear."  (hoping their followers would fill in the blank.). But sometimes, I think, we can feel fear and do things anyway. It may be too much of a stretch to do things without fear. If we waited to do something until we had no fear, we may never do it. I changed it. I am not willing to put my life on hold for fear. Are you? Today, I Will ______Without Letting Fear Stop Me.

When we have a past trauma, so many things can trigger an old memory to rise up and take over our emotions. A smell, a shape, a sound, a touch, a person. Anything our senses take in can send us emotionally back to a threatening past trauma. The suffering of this is intense. It may be a nightmare, a flashback, or an anxiety attack. It can also be incredibly frustrating and disappointing that even though you are presently safe--that you feel the persistent panic as though you are still in constant danger.

High expectations of yourself and others (and situations!) can keep you anxious by telling you you are inadequate, that things are out of control, and that you cannot handle them. This will start the spin cycle of anxiety. You will get anxious, anxiety will say "See I told you you couldn't do this!" and then more anxiety ensues feeding even more negative self talk. Your confidence goes in the toilet and which gives you more evidence you are a failure at life. Do you want to stop this spin cycle?

Fear deconstructs. Fear is not a marriage builder. Actually, not much messes a marriage up more than fear. Fear has partners withdrawing from each other, getting defensive, talking themselves out of making effort, being down right mean to each other, and looking for love in all the wrong places (What Is a Healthy Relationship?). It can ruin a good thing and make a not so good thing much, much worse.

For the last few weeks, I have invited readers to say goodbye to their problems in my post Dear Fear: A "Dear John" Letter To Anxiety. I shared one reader's letter to fear last week: "Fear, You Are Not Welcome Here!" Today, I am sharing a Goodbye letter from another one of my readers. Ken from Redeker's Travels wrote a Goodbye Letter to his OCD. His powerful words remind us that we can all change our relationship to our fears. Here, I read Goodbye OCD for you on video. Please watch.

A few weeks ago, I invited people to write a goodbye letter to fear using my own letter as an example. At the end I challenged readers: Write a goodbye letter to fear. Start with, “Dear Fear,” and let ‘em have it. Name your fears, tell what you have sacrificed, name its tricks and tactics, list your skills and knowledges, tell it what you’d rather do with your life if it no longer held you back. And then hang it in a place where you can see it, so you can read it everyday until the fear is gone. Readers, what would you like to say? Dear Fear….. Here are some of the responses. Watch me read a powerful goodbye letter to fear in this video.