A Smiling and Best Bipolar Me

I haven’t felt like the best bipolar me in over two weeks. The Lithium finally kicked in and I was sick. I was nauseous after my night time meal and so drowsy during the day that I could barely keep my eyes open. I let it continue for two weeks. I thought that I just had to get used to it. Fortunately, I got tired of it and decided to do a little research. I found some information on Lithium and nausea that suggested that I split up my dosage into morning and night instead of just dosing at night. The results were amazing. I started to become the best bipolar me.

Yesterday I became the best bipolar me.

I smiled, was awake, and my husband told me that I seemed happy. Wow, that put another smile on my face. I seemed happy? How long had it been since I seemed happy for no apparent reason? I couldn’t remember. Today was even better. I felt high, but not too high. Just high enough to keep me going. I spent so long dragging myself through the everyday battles of life that I forgot what it was like to be a happy person.

I accredit my bipolar recovery and becoming the best bipolar me to empowering myself.

I took charge at the last appointment with my psychiatric nurse and I told her that I was experiencing the mundane on a regular basis. It was like I was just going through the motions. She heard my disheartened plea and she agreed to up the dosage of my Lithium. But, I’m the one that swallowed the pill. I’m the one that researched why it was affecting me so irregularly and I made the correct change. Here I am now—a smile on my face.

I know that the Lithium will level out some and the high will leave, but I have faith that the best bipolar me will stay.

I’m prepared for that. But while it’s here I plan on using it to my advantage. I’m applying to community college. I want to get my basics out of the way. And then I want to go onto university. I have a dream of becoming a social worker that works for and advocates for mentally challenged clients. It’s either that or a writer. Maybe I’ll do both. If, indeed, these meds are correct, I could well be on my way to bipolar recovery. I’d like nothing better than to spend the next six months in mood stability. And why not? The world is, after all, my oyster!