Dating as a Young Adult with Bipolar Disorder

Navigating dating as a young adult in college is challenging enough, but dating as a young adult with bipolar disorder turns it into an even more intricate balancing act. I went through my first breakup when I was 18, and due to the emotional toll, I decided to take a break before I attempted to date again. At 19, I had my first manic episode and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type I.

The emotional toll of processing the trauma related to that manic episode was much worse than the breakup. As a result, I began to fear adding dating back into the equation while my mental health still seemed out of control. I also feared that nobody would be able to understand me after this experience. I became so avoidant towards dating that I did not go on another date until I was manic again four years later. Dating as a young adult with bipolar disorder is complicated, indeed. 

Dating as a Young Person with Bipolar Disorder During a Manic Episode

My manic episode not only broke my four-year dating hiatus but also abruptly ended my time at the state school I was attending. During any manic episode, I tend to lose my sense of fear, and in this particular case, the result of that confidence was downloading a dating application. I was delighted to match with someone pretty rapidly. We went on four dates until he eventually told me he was not interested in more. I could not say I blamed him.

I became more and more delusional with each date. I remember speaking to him in nonsensical ways, having him do therapeutic exercises with me, and becoming convinced that he was someone from my high school disguised as a different person. I sometimes reflect on that time of my life and wonder what those dates were like from his perspective. Ultimately, I ended up in the hospital and back in my hometown. 

As a Young Person with Bipolar Disorder, I Open Up on Dates

This was the last intense manic episode of my early 20s, marking a significant turning point in my life. It was followed by a long period of stability, during which I worked full-time as a waitress and finished college online.

As stability returned to my life, I mustered the courage to download the dating application once again. Initially, I was terrified of being open about my mental health struggles on dates as a young person with bipolar disorder. I often find myself fighting a lot of stigma when I bring up bipolar disorder, and I only expected this to be worse in dating. Over time, however, I found that my mental health would often make its way into conversation naturally and at the right time. I found that, in general, people were much more understanding than I had expected. 

You Can Date as a Young Person with Bipolar Disorder

Looking back, I regret avoiding dating for so long due to fear. I realized that empathy and understanding would go a long way in bridging the gap between different life experiences. People face adversity in many different ways, and I can empathize with others just as they can with me despite not sharing the same experiences. I am glad that I waited for a more stable time, though.

I now realize that meaningful connections are just as possible for a young person dating with bipolar disorder as anyone else.