Coping with Rejection When You Have Depression

Coping with rejection is difficult for most people, but it can be especially painful for those of us who have depression. We tend to internalize things so rejection often leaves us feeling as if we've done something wrong or plagues us with incessant negative thoughts. So, how can we accept the experience and begin coping with rejection in a healthier way?

Positive Ways for Coping with Rejection When You're Depressed

1. Realize that what we see as rejection might not truly be rejection at all. Some people are in our lives for a season only. When that season ends, the friendship may also end, or at least change. Focus on the good times you both had; if you believe the friendship can still continue, have an open and honest discussion with your friend. If things don't go the way you'd like and you feel rejected, quiet those negative voices with the reality that no one (including yourself) is at fault for this change in the friendship and that you made some wonderful memories together.
2. As much as it may hurt initially, we are better off without some people in our lives. I'm sure we all know someone who would be considered a "toxic person." These people intentionally say and do harmful things. If you've been rejected by a toxic person, then understand he/she did you a favor. That kind of person will only serve to worsen your depression and you need to be with people who lift you up rather than tear you down. If harsh words were spoken to or about you, counteract them by reminding yourself that you are worthy of respect, deserving of love, brave, and strong.  
3. We must not blame ourselves. I know -- easier said than done, especially when we're talking about coping with rejection. If we're the ones being rejected, how could we not blame ourselves? The truth is, though, that if people actually reject us, it says a great deal more about them than it says about us. If we've done nothing to hurt those who reject us, then what reasons could they possibly have for rejecting us? It seems to me that they must be the ones with the problem, but rather than focusing on them, we will focus on remembering that we are not to blame. It may take time and lots of practice, but we can learn to stop placing blame on ourselves.  
4. Seek outside help when you're coping with rejection. There may be times in which the pain of coping with rejection becomes too difficult for us to manage on our own. This pain can send us into a depressive episode and we need to be aware of the signs that show we're slipping back into the darkness. When I begin to notice my signs reappearing, I tell my husband, my best friend, my psychiatrist, and my therapist. If the pain of rejection gets overwhelming for you, please seek outside help, particularly from your healthcare provider. 

Most of us will face rejection at some point in our lives. We can reflect on the thoughts and coping with rejection strategies presented here in order to lessen the likelihood that the pain caused by rejection will send us into a depressive episode.