Change Negative Thoughts into Positive Self-Talk

You can change negative thoughts into positive self-talk, although it might take some work. Examples of positive self-talk can infiltrate the negative thoughts at war with your happiness. A couple weeks ago, I shared a technique of how to combat negative self-talk. Today, I want to use that technique again to show another example of how to create positive self-talk to change negative thoughts.

Our thoughts often guide our emotions. We start to believe the things we think. And our beliefs shape our actions and attitudes. If you want to live a life of bliss and happiness you have to have a healthy, positive self-talk. Self-talk is the inner dialogue with have about ourselves.

Catch Your Negative Thoughts Before They Spiral out of Control

The first step to changing negative thoughts into positive self-talk is to catch the negative thoughts you have about yourself before they spiral out of control. I’ll give an example from my own life with which I often struggle.

I recently went through a divorce and have lately found myself thinking, “I am unlovable because I’m too scarred.”

I have bipolar disorder. I’ve been hospitalized. I’ve wallowed in the valley of the shadow of death. I’m damaged, anxious, and scarred. I’m unlovable — or so I tell myself.

The first step transforming these negative thoughts into positive ones is to catch right when I hear myself think them. I try to catch them before they become set as beliefs— before they impact my actions and attitudes.

Check Your Negative Thoughts with Reality for Positive Self-Talk

The second step to changing negative thoughts into positive self talk involves checking the negative thoughts with reality. This step can be tricky. I say the key is to catch these thoughts before they become deeply held beliefs, but sometimes the beliefs have started to set before we catch the thought. That’s okay — press on and dig for the truth.

In my example there are times where I truly do feel unlovable. I used to keep my mental illness a secret from anyone I dated. Now that blog and work full time as a mental health advocate, the cat's out of the bag. It’s normal to have a fear of dating with bipolar disorder.

In reality, yes, I do have a mental illness and my episodes of depression and mania have scarred me. But I also know that in order for genuine love and intimacy to occur you have to be willing to show your scars. I’m more than my illness and insecurities — we all are.

Change Your Negative Thoughts into Positive Self -Talk

The final step in this positive self-talk tool is to change the negative thought into something positive. This step often merges naturally when you check the negative thought with reality.

In the example, my negative thought was, “I am unlovable because I’m scarred.” In reality, my self-awareness makes me more open to genuine intimacy and love. This isn’t a negative at all — far from it.

My mental health has given me a deeper awareness about myself and enabled me to have compassion for others. I am lovable. I’m totally and completely, head-over-heels lovable. And I’d venture to say so are you.

Next time you catch yourself with a negative thought, use this example to check it with reality and change it into something positive.

Find Arley on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.