I Am Tired of Being Mentally Ill

After years of living with mental illness, I know one thing for sure: I am tired of being mentally ill. They say normal is boring, but I often find myself longing to be neurotypical. Honestly, I wouldn't wish mental illness on my worst enemy. I am so tired of being mentally ill.

Why I'm Tired of Being Mentally Ill

One reason I'm tired of being mentally ill is that everyday life is a lot of work for a person with mental illness. Routine tasks like getting out of bed, showering, working, and even getting a good night's sleep are tough to accomplish. "Normal" people usually get these tasks done without having to push themselves. For me, these activities are as easy as climbing a mountain with a bag of rocks on my back. Doing pretty much anything requires conscious effort because effortlessness is usually not in the fate of a depressed person. 

And let's not forget about the impact of chronic anxiety. It keeps me on edge, making it hard for me to not only do things well but also to relax. What's more, anxiety also worsens my depression. I'm tired of being mentally ill because this combination of depression and anxiety creates a relentless cycle of despair and fear, making it hard for me to get through the day. 

I'm tired of being mentally ill because mental illness affects every aspect of my life, from my ability to work and maintain relationships to simply finding moments of joy and peace. Being depressed and anxious is the reason why I often feel disconnected from the world around me. I am so busy fighting with my mind that I can't help but feel left out of life. If I were neurotypical, life would not only be a lot easier, but it would also be radically different from the one I am living today. 

I Try to Find Hope Even Though I'm Tired of Being Mentally Ill

Despite all of these challenges, I try my best to find rays of hope. Also, since most people don't get how challenging it is to live with mental illness, I celebrate small wins and am my biggest advocate. That said, I can't discount the importance of having a small but strong support system to help me get through days when I can barely function.

I can understand being tired of being mentally ill as this journey is difficult, but we don't have to face it alone. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, reach out for help. If you don't have supportive friends or family, consult a therapist. Whatever you do, don't lose hope. Someday, we will be part of a society that is better equipped to treat mental illness.