Self-Harm and Being Overly Ambitious

School is officially in session and whether you are in high school or college, you’re probably feeling a little bit of stress. Well, some of you may be feeling completely overwhelmed and that is more than understandable. However, take a step back and look at everything you have on your plate. Homework? Sports? Jobs? Rent?

All of the above?

Being overly ambitious can, at times, lead to stress and being too stressed can, at times, lead to negative behaviors – such as self-harm.

The Good and Bad of Being Ambitious

A co-worker of mine is currently working full-time hours, taking Graduate level Social Work classes and about to move into a new apartment. She is constantly going from sun-up to sundown and from the looks of it, she is stressed to the max. She was talking about how she is trying to take on so much and already has so much on her plate that it is just burning her out.

For those struggling with self-harm, being ambitious can be a good and a bad thing. It is definitely good to have a plan and to strive to accomplish the goals you have set for yourself. It is good to stay busy and focus on positive activities and not on the cutting or the burning or the head banging. However, if you’ve set your standards high and you have too much on your plate, your anxiety could be on overload – like my co-worker. We all know that when our anxiety is at it’s peak, negative coping skills may seem like the best bet.

We all know they are not.

When I was in high school and struggling with cutting and suicide, my mind was either on overload or completely un-focused. When my mind was on overload, it was usually because I was trying to concentrate on dance, colorguard, musicals, writing, therapy and school all at once. I would try to do the best in everything I was working on and that was when my anxiety would erupt and my self-harm would look more and more like a good idea. It was hard for me to stop and take a look at what was on my plate.

The easiest way to do this is to do just that – stop, breathe and try to figure out a different, less stressful plan of action.

A Little Advice From Billy Joel

My co-worker played the song Vienna by Billy Joel for me and as I listened to the lyrics, I realized how real and relatable his words were. He was speaking directly to those who are overly ambitious and are not taking enough time for themselves.

Some of his lyrics are as follows:

- “Slow down you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile.”

- “Slow down you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time.”

- “Slow down you crazy child. Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while. It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two.”

- “And you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can just get old. You’re gonna kick off before you even get halfway through.”

- You got so much to do and only so many hours in a day.”

Billy Joel pretty much said everything about taking time for yourself and not overwhelming your brain in the few minutes of a song. We need to realize that we can only take on so much before we explode. Take a breath and write out a realistic plan for yourself where you give yourself breathing time throughout the day.

Take a moment to listen to good ol’ Billy Joel. He just may be the coping skill you need.

You can also find Jennifer Aline Graham on Google+, Facebook, Twitter and her website is here.