The Cycle of Mess and Misery Stops When You Heal

Eating disorders can normalize dysfunction to the point where it starts to feel comfortable, even when it's miserable—but the road to healing breaks that cycle of mess and misery. During the years I spent under the influence of anorexia, suffering was my baseline. I resented this pain, but I also pursued it like a magnetic pull into the chaos that seemed predictable, familiar, and secure because it was all I knew. Healing showed me an alternative in which mess and misery is no longer a constant, and inner peace is attainable, no matter the circumstances.

Eating Disorders Reinforce a Cycle of Mess and Misery

I have yet to meet someone whose life improved when an eating disorder came into it. I will include myself in this observation, too. The sense of worth I believed anorexia would bring me never quite materialized. In its place, I felt isolation, despair, anxiety, and self-loathing. The deeper I sunk into those eating disorder behaviors, the further my life spun out of control. I was caught in a relentless cycle of mess and misery, a desolate tunnel with no exit in view. It wasn't until I tried blazing my own trail of escape that I realized those behaviors were not normal, and I no longer had to settle for them. So, I chose another path—I invited healing to break the cycle of mess and misery.

How Healing Can Break the Cycle of Mess and Misery

Earlier this week, I came across the following quote on social media from Alex Elle, a mental health advocate, certified breathwork coach, and bestselling author:  

"The more you heal, the more peace you'll want in your life. Your capacity for negativity will lessen. You'll become clearer about who and what gets your time and energy. Keeping company with mess and misery will no longer be an option for you." 

That phrase, "mess and misery will no longer be an option for you," struck a chord in my soul. It inspired me to write this article because it puts into words a universal, undeniable truth. The more space I create for mental, emotional, and physical healing to take root, the less tolerance I have for pain that hinders my growth. Of course, some pain is necessary—even beneficial. It can impart wisdom, instill courage, or increase resilience. But the recurring cycle of mess and misery is not inevitable. In my own experience, at least, continual suffering is often a choice. 

Eating disorder recovery taught me that I am not a victim of circumstance. I do not have to succumb to harmful reactions, no matter how overwhelmed I might feel. I can withstand uncomfortable emotions and reframe anxious thoughts. I can prioritize actions that welcome serenity, balance, nourishment, and self-compassion into my life. I can pursue wellness over chaos. I can breathe deeply into the moment I'm living in. I can look for reasons to be grateful. I can still find pockets of joy when challenges arise. Even if a situation threatens to derail my footsteps, I am confident that when I choose healing, I can break the cycle of mess and misery.

I Prefer Healing Over the Painful Cycle of Mess and Misery

Do you resonate with this idea that healing can break the cycle of mess and misery that eating disorders so often create? How have you seen the healing process at work in your own life? Please share your insights in the comment section—I would love to hear them.