Five Relationship Myths

There are so many morsels of bad relationship advice floating around that I thought it best to address some of the most common relationship myths. People have the tendency to dish out love advice like yesterday’s leftover goulash—it’s well-intentioned, but nobody really wants it. Bridal showers and bachelor parties are breeding grounds for ill advice. Here are a few of my favorites that I’ve heard.

“Never go to bed when you’re angry.”
Trust me, fighting it out all night until you’re both exhausted and even angrier isn’t any better. In the heat of an argument, we often say hurtful things we don’t really mean. When both parties have reached an impasse or are getting irrational, it’s best to take a breather, calm down, and resume the talk when you’re in a better frame of mind.

Often this means getting a good night’s sleep and waking up with a new outlook on things. Anger does not fester over night.

“If he loves me he will change.”
Love and all the money in the world may not be enough to change someone. People will only change if they want to change. If there is a particularly bad habit or characteristic that your partner has, you need to talk to him about it and tell him how much it bothers you. You can try to help your partner change his ways, but ultimately he is the one who determines if he will change.

“Love is supposed to be easy.”
Love as it’s portrayed in rom-com movies is easy; a relationship in real life requires work from both people. A lot of couples run into problems once the lovey-dovey-can’t-get-enough-of-you phase wears off. This is when annoying habits suddenly become apparent and real life situations such as bills, co-habiting issues, and money problems rear their ugly heads.

Yes, it’s true that an easy, mutual attraction is what likely started your relationship. But successful long-term relationships need to be tended to in order to stay abloom.

“Fighting is bad.”
Fighting or arguing is often portrayed as a negative thing. Constructive arguing is a vital part of a healthy relationship—how else are you going to voice your opinion and iron out the differences? It’s not the couples that fight that don’t last; it’s the couples that avoid conflict that have issues.

It’s definitely not a good sign when the time spent fighting outnumber the happy times; however successful couples are able to get angry, compromise, kiss and make up. And maybe make up some more.

“Sex has nothing to do with the relationship.”
This is probably the biggest relationship misconception there is. While a relationship is based on a number of things other than sex such as companionship, loyalty, and trust, sex is the glue that binds it all together. It’s what separates a platonic male friend from your boyfriend. It’s the wheels on the bus, the foundation of the house – you get the point. Sex is often the pulse of the relationship as well; a hurting limp sex life is often indicative of a hurting relationship.

What are some other relationship myths you’ve heard?