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Anxiety is stupid. That’s how a high school student once described it to me. In that moment, nothing more needed to be said. Anxiety is stupid; it’s a plain and simple truth. In the next moment, though, something did need to be said. The truth about anxiety was incomplete. Anxiety is stupid, I agreed, and you are smart. Adding that second part, the bit about you—everyone—being smart shifts our attention ever so slightly away from anxiety and onto ourselves as people who are smart, strong, and capable of beating anxiety (it is, after all, stupid). Anxiety is stupid because it says you can’t do things. You’re smart because, despite anxiety’s lies, you can do things. Here’s why you’re smart and capable.
Those of us with depression will often experience situations that can trigger depressive episodes. Since we can expect these events to occur, we need to have some effective coping strategies in place. What effective strategies can we use to cope with these triggers?
There are several milestones leading up to the early stages of self-injury recovery. First, is the recognition of the problem. Second, is the recognition of wanting to do something about the problem. Third, is actually taking action to address the problem. Fourth, is arriving, finally, to a point at which what you have gained from your efforts to recover from self-injury outweigh the problem of self-harm itself.
Explaining anxiety isn't an easy feat. As someone who studied English literature in school, I often turn to poetry to help me gain perspective. The great poets have been through the same struggles we have, and their work is an invaluable testimony of those struggles.
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in my early 20s, and since then I’ve received many different reactions when disclosing my mental illness. Many people are supportive. Others are curious. Sometimes I face mental health stigma. Writing for HealthyPlace means my diagnosis is out there for anyone to see. I’m fine with that because I want to help and I want to fight stigma. However, in my day-to-day life, I choose whom I want to tell and when I want to tell them. Here are a few of the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences with disclosing my mental illness diagnosis, not necessarily in that order.
I think it was Jessica McCabe of "How to ADHD" who referred to herself, someone with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), as an ADHD late bloomer. I have found numerous forums where ADHDers wonder whether (or assert that) they are late bloomers. There are several reasons why people with ADHD might be considered late bloomers and there are reasons why being an ADHD late bloomer is not such a terrible thing.
Self-love and depression don't naturally go together because when you have depression, it’s hard to love yourself. Being constantly bombarded with negative thoughts about how you’re not good enough or how you’ll never amount to anything doesn’t exactly help your self-esteem. You get inside your own head and tell yourself that you are not worthy of love.
Knowing what to say to an emotional abuse survivor is tough – I get it. Having been on the receiving end of a lot of unsolicited advice both in and out of an abusive relationship, I know that people tend to say the wrong thing more often than not, and that's generally okay. Most of the time, our loved ones mean well; they just don't know what to say. It's not their fault, either. Topics like emotional abuse and coercive control are seldom discussed, and when they are discussed it's usually in the media, where victim blaming is very much alive and well. However, what you say to a friend or loved one in recovery from verbal abuse counts for a lot, so here's what not to say to verbal and emotional abuse survivors.
How should you respond when a friend talks to you about his mental health support needs? Those who receive this invitation may feel some mixed emotions, so I'd like to address those feelings. You can handle requests for the mental health support needs of your friends in different ways.
It has been my privilege to write for “Life with Bob” on the HealthyPlace.com blog for this past year. HealthyPlace provides such a valuable resource to the community of people living with mental illness, offering insights, information, and open communication on the wide variety of issues that affect our community. Therefore, it is with some sadness that I say “goodbye” to my role in this fine organization.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.