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Many times throughout the course of my eating disorder, I found myself listening to music that encouraged my disordered behaviors and thoughts. These songs are still indelibly marked in my brain and I can sing every word of them when they turn up on my iPod. The problem with this is that singing them only serves to cement the messages in my head. So when I started down the road to eating disorder recovery, I needed a new set of songs to sing along to.
Everyone has a birthday. However, not everyone makes it to his or her second or 14th or 35th birthday. Since life is filled with unexplainable demons, some people are not always promised another birthday. Loved ones are diagnosed with cancer all too often and innocent people are murdered every day.
Life throws challenges at us every single day. Sometimes, we have the ability to decide which path to choose and, as we know, some of us don’t always make the safest decision. Other people aren’t able to always make those choices when hit with life-threatening circumstances.
We tend to speak of the cycle of violence and abuse as if it were a constantly turbulent system, but we rarely discuss the routine that makes it easier to stay in an abusive relationship, the mind game that soothes the volatile system into manageability. The wheel of violence and abuse shows the cycle concisely, but too narrowly. The wheel shows the cycle as a rolling circle of abuse, honeymoon, tension-building, abuse, honeymoon, tension-building, abuse -- visually repeated infinite times with arrows circling around the wheel until we say to ourselves, "I get it! It's so simple." But then we feel shocked that victims of abuse don't just leave. After all, the wheel makes the cycle of violence and abuse so transparent that victims 'should be able to leave.' Despite its powerful (and necessary) message, the wheel simply cannot tell the whole story.
An old saying, often dubiously attributed to Martin Luther, warns: "Who loves not wine, women and song/remains a fool his whole life long." The phrase has hedonistic implications (which is why I find the Luther attribution puzzling) and its modern equivalent is "sex, drugs and rock-and-roll." Whether it really was Luther who said it, or whether it was Johann Heinrich Voss, as Bartlett's Familiar Quotations has it, the hendiatris is an old one.
Even if Bartlett made it up himself, it would still date to at least 1855. That means that for a long, long time, people have lumped substances, sex and music into the same category of mood-altering temptations. Reflecting on this fact made me wonder, is there a difference between addiction to mind-altering substances and mind-altering behaviors or experiences?
I worry my son will end up in jail. This is ironic because my son is a rigid rule follower. He attends a small college prep high school and plays basketball. He's a good kid. But, he's a good kid with a serious mental illness.
Solitude simply means seclusion, quiet, and privacy. Some find solitude undesirable and even depressing. Others view it as an opportunity to reflect and discover spiritual enlightenment. Putting a positive spin on solitude creates an invitation for us to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Solitude is a call to action to simply spend quiet time away from the commotion of places and people abuzz. It is an opportunity for deep reflection about your self, happiness, purpose and contribution in this world.
This week was filled with many memories and thoughts – some negative and some positive. Being that World Suicide Prevention Day was September 10th and the week in its entirety is National Suicide Prevention Week, many people were probably grieving lost ones and thinking about those who had been suicidal in the past. Many also grieved over lost loved ones who passed on September 11th when the towers fell.
This week has been a reminder that spreading awareness about beliefs close to your heart is important and necessary. It’s necessary because by speaking your thoughts, other people who agree with those thoughts will become supportive and jump on the train. Suicide is something that not only those who self-harm may struggle with, but something that many people with mental illness too struggle with.
The four categories of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms are re-experiencing, avoidance, negative changes in thoughts and beliefs and hyperarousal (feeling keyed up). I’ve talked about the first two categories already and, so, today I want to discuss the changes in thoughts and beliefs associated with combat PTSD.
Many people are afraid of public speaking, don't let your fear keep you from raising your hand or participating in work and school. Learn these tips to be confident.
National Suicide Prevention Week stirs up a lot of emotion in me. I rarely involve myself in suicide awareness activities, most of which occur annually this week in early September. Depression is something I am eager to talk about with anyone but I'm not ready to share my suicide stories or hear others' suicide stories in a public venue yet.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.