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I live, I love, I laugh, I cry. I’m not perfect. No one is, not you or I. ~ Unk
Meaning of Perfect
Are you striving to be perfect? Have you made mistakes? Are you judgmental of self and others? What does perfect mean and look like to you?
I know plenty of people who have a mental illness, including myself, and quite often there is a recurring theme of stigma in our relationships with our significant other; where we often feel like a burden to our partner, and when treated poorly, we tend to discern that we do not deserve any better. Having a mental illness can negatively affect your self-esteem and self-worth, which is often reflected in the way we view ourselves and we quite often accept a partner’s behavior that negatively affects our well-being.
I’ve stated many times how helpful books can be when overcoming self-harm. There have been numerous books I have discussed that helped me when I was struggling to understand my own addiction to cutting. In a world where self-harm is seen by many as taboo, it is good to fall into a story where the topic is relatable and real.
I developed dissociative identity disorder in much the same way that many people do. I grew up with an abusive father and a loving, but oblivious, mother who inadvertently taught me how to pretend that what was happening to me wasn’t happening at all. I was an imaginative child and dissociation came easy to me. Telling the truth about what was going on in my home, however, has never been easy. So, when I told you not to go around saying that child abuse causes dissociative identity disorder, I didn’t do it because I wasn’t abused; I did it because I was.
![Becky Doyle, author of "Debunking Addiction", talks about her own addiction to alcohol and how her recovery from alcoholism changed her life.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2014/10/backy-doyle-267x350.jpg?itok=BNIHIPS- "About Becky Doyle, Author of the "Debunking Addiction" Blog")
Hi, my name is Becky and I’m a grateful, recovering alcoholic – and I mean that with total sincerity. My life was changed for the better when I finally put down the bottle in November of 2009. Consequently, I have been blessed with incredible friendships and a life that I never knew I wanted.
Last weekend, I had a conversation with a good friend. The conversation involved a disagreement, and I honestly thought I might have a heart attack. I don’t disagree well. Doing so increases my anxiety, sometimes to panic attack proportions. Typically, I change the subject or, better yet, excuse myself and run. This time, though, I stuck it out. One, the woman is a good friend who is used to me, and two, the subject was anxiety. I wanted to stick around for that discussion. The essence of the debate was this: can anxiety be accepted as part of who one is and thus shoved to the background of existence and be practically ignored, or is anxiety bigger than that, something that cannot, will not, be accepted and ignored?
Hello, I’m Fay Agathangelou and I’m thrilled to be writing for the Building Self-Esteem Blog. I am a former life coach, with a philosophy of living life to the fullest, and being the best person you can be. As well as holistic life coaching, I am particularly passionate about wellness and confidence building. I believe that having a healthy self-esteem is the key to following your dreams and living the life you want without the fears that hold so many people back. I also believe that embracing your individuality is vital for healthy self-esteem. It is important to be comfortable with who you are in order to live the best possible life. Uniqueness is what makes us all special so let’s embrace that. It is astonishing that so many people don’t see their overall worth as a person. They don’t see their good qualities and that gets in the way of their health and happiness.
As I continue to recover from a recent depressive episode, I’ve noticed that I’m better able to deal with my inner critic, as well as be more in the present moment. For example, recently, I found myself unsure how to proceed with a project at work. If I had been feeling more depressed, my inner critic would have taken this as an opportunity to try to push me down further. I was able to fight this by being in the present moment.
I have this thing, and I don’t know if it’s the bipolar, specifically, but I get wired and tired at the same time and it sure feels bipolar-y to me.
This week, the walls of anxiety are closing in. The world appears absolutely insane, and I feel like a dog in a plastic kennel that's too small, pacing and turning in an ever-tightening circle.
I have no anxiety tips, tricks, or techniques for you this week, because I feel like absolute crap. I seem to always make videos or audio posts when I'm in crisis too. I don't know why that is.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.