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As many of you know, I have just graduated from college, and it’s time for me to begin my journey into “Real Life.” I’m not quite sure what this means for me quite yet, but I can feel many, many changes coming my way, and that means a loss of stability - at least for awhile (Stability in Bipolar Disorder Requires Routine).
Before I get into the tofu and potatoes of this Adult ADHD Christmas wishlist post, let me apologize to those of you who do not celebrate Christmas or have a Christmas wishlist. I'm sure it can be frustrating to be left out during this season and I know that maybe I stink for being politically incorrect. I do believe that all of the items on the following wishlist, though, could be for any Adult ADHD holiday and that I am in the process of wrapping my family's Christmas gifts and that's why this post is titled what it is.
Joy is a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters. ~ Oprah
Joy Revealed
What’s your idea of joy? What awakens feelings of calm, peace, and contentment in you?
Joy is a sense of well-being. It springs from spiritual connectedness that creates an inner calm, peace and contentment. It warms your heart and soul. Getting up to greet the sunrise, driving the scenic route to the office or hearing my sister’s lovely voice when she sings Louis Armstrong’s, What a Wonderful World. The feeling of joy is not ephemeral. It is long-lasting. So much so that when I think of these examples along with others, immense contentment gushes within. What evokes joy for you?
Low self-esteem can bring on depression. Having said that, depression also lowers self-esteem. It truly is a vicious cycle, one that I am trying very hard to manage.
Are Self-Help Books, Videos The Answer?
Whether the "problem" is mental illness, low self-esteem, feeling unfulfilled or any other "malady", there is a book, problem or savior for you! Walk into your local Barnes & Noble, Half-Price Books or independent bookseller and take note of how much real estate is devoted to the self-help titles. You Can Change Your Life, The Secret, The Law of Attraction. . .the key to a happy life is contained within. Can't you hear the harps playing as you crack it open? No? Me neither.
This past year, I’ve spoken to numerous Syracuse high schools about my novel, Noon, and the self-injury topics discussed in the book. Like I’ve said in my past blogs, one character struggles with self-harm and suicide. A lot of my past experiences go into her scenes and, sometimes, I feel bad that I threw all of my baggage into that character’s life. However, it does work as quite the positive self-injury coping skill.
Recently, I spoke to a high school about the book and realized, again, how useful it is to talk about the struggles you’ve gone through. It allows you to really open up and show your braver side. This blog was a huge step forward in my opening up about self-harm.
When you have the confidence to talk about your past, it shows how much you’ve grown.
With the publication of the Fifth Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), Binge Eating Disorder is officially recognized by the APA as an eating disorder. Whereas it had previously been relegated to the catch-all category of "Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified," Binge Eating Disorder is diagnosable as an eating disorder all its own - and it is finally acknowledged that not all people with eating disorders are your starving waifs on the runway. (In fact, only a small percentage are.)
For those who suffer from Binge Eating Disorder, it might come as a relief to know that there is actually something "wrong." It's not just that I lack self-control or don't exercise enough or eat "bad" foods. I have an eating disorder every bit as physically and psychologically damaging as Anorexia or Bulimia.
This holiday season give the child on your list a gift that will inspire creativity and build your child's confidence.
The hot toy of the season, must-have technology gadget or video game, or plastic princess have a short shelf life. In a few hours or days, it will be just another "thing". Instead, gift them with something that encourages their creative minds, bonding, or helps build self-esteem in children.
Deadlines to meet. Meals to plan. Shopping to do. Meetings to join. Classes to attend. Work to do. Children to taxi. Aging parents to help. Laundry to wash. Lawns to mow. Etc. Etc. Etc. What if you forget? What if you make a mistake? What if? What if? What if? Dire consequences. Dire consequences. Dire consequences. The anxiety is a constant companion. Day and night. Day and night. And night. And. Night. Anxiety is awful. When it robs us of sleep, it becomes torturous. Why is that, and what can be done about it?
Mental health professionals often say to never ignore suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts. Unfortunately, suicidal thoughts and behaviors are one of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It gives rise to the question "Should I always take suicidal thoughts and gestures seriously when the person has BPD?"
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.