Blogs
Years ago I was traveling from Philly to L.A. on business and found myself seated next to an unremarkable gentleman – mid-40s, clean-shaven, tall, closely-cropped hair, dressed casually but in all regards neat and presentable. One is captive on a plane and I hoped he understood the difference between friendly and intrusive.
Anxiety, whether or not it develops into PTSD or another anxiety disorder, pulls us off course, again and again. It sets us up to crash through life from one crisis to another and makes us less productive - all of which increases our stress level. In spite of this, you can fairly quickly organize your anxious mind and have less crisis and more "plan" in your daily life. I'll show you how.
On Monday, Aaron Alexis went into the Washington Navy Yard and started shooting. Within hours his mental state was questioned--we're now learning Aaron Alexis had a psychiatric history and "slipped through the system". While there is no definite link between mental illness and a risk of violence, there is a pattern emerging between mass shooters and inadequate mental health treatment. (read: Should People with a Mental Illness have Firearm Rights?) There but for the grace of God, go I.
I’ve been working on coming up with mission and vision statements for a charity I work with, and one of the things that a fellow board member said was that we want to end self-discrimination. I thought this was quite brilliant, and, of course, quite true. One of the things people with a mental illness face isn’t just discrimination from others but discrimination and stigma from themselves. And if we want to fight discrimination and stigma in the world, this begins by looking in the mirror.
On Monday, Aaron Alexis went on a shooting spree in a Navy yard in Washington D.C. So far, we know that he killed 12 people and wounded 8 others, and the rampage ended with the death of Alexis. While watching the news coverage, all I heard about was Alexis' mental health history and how he could have “slipped through the system.” Why is our mental health system always to blame? Why is it that many people automatically turn to the perpetrator's mental health as the only explanation to these heinous crimes? Are we just looking for someone or something to blame? Could it be that this person is just mean or evil? He could have had a perfectly healthy mind.
I get into adult ADHD hyperfocusing phases. Right now, I love doing crossword puzzles. In the past, my phases have been actual puzzles to video games to tv shows to cross-stitching. You name it - I've done it. Hyperfocusing in ADHD is something that I find isn't always talked about in relation to adult ADHD, because it's sort of assumed the "A" for attention means only lack of attention. How could someone with difficulty focusing have period of hyperfocus? Who knows? ADHD's hyperfocusing certainly happen, though.
A support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support. Along with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and depression medication (if prescribed), a strong support system is key to coping with depression.
For self-harmers, cutting or burning or picking is a form of comfort. However, we also know that this is not a safe form of comfort or a coping skill that should stick around. We know that these behaviors are not only hurtful to our bodies, but also hurtful to our minds. Every time a mark is made, your mind becomes frenzied with thoughts – I’m glad I did that. That felt great. Wait, am I glad I did that. I feel much better. Did that really help me? All of a sudden, anxiety rises once the euphoric feeling disappears and that is what leads to more negative behaviors being thought about.
Therefore, stepping out of your comfort zone may be a good step forward.
Can adding mantras to your self-care routine help with your mental health recovery? For many, the answer is yes. Mantras help us change our thought processes. Changing our thoughts gives us the ability to become more resilient, to change the way our brain neurons fire and to choose to move forward. Science agrees. In a 2009 study, Italian physicians studied the effect on the cardiovascular system of reciting the Ave Maria, the rosary or a yogic mantra. The result: Prayer and mantras increased cardiovascular function when recited six times a minute.1
Apologies to my readers, new and old, for not having blogged for a few weeks. I was in London last month participating in an international conference on schizophrenia recovery, and lots of energy went into that experience.
The conference organizers had read Ben Behind His Voices, and so I was asked to share my experience as family caregiver (or, in UK_speak, "carer").
As you might imagine, I learned a lot more than I shared. The main lesson, reinforced:
When a loved one develops schizophrenia, feelings have no country borders. We do not stop loving when mental illness moves in. We do share feelings of grief, anger, confusion, determination, resentment, loss, helplessness, and more.
I connected first with Georgina Wakefield, my UK counterpart in many ways.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.