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So many people have come to me with the desire to become a more assertive and confident communicator. They see others who do it well and want to feel that confidence but don't know how. Perhaps they haven't had enough practice, they don't know where to start, their emotions are too intense or because speaking up and expressing yourself is scary. All may be true, but if you don't communicate assertively, you're not going to feel confident in communicating with others and will feel lower self-confidence in general. Watch this video to learn skills that make you a more assertive and confident communicator.
I am not a very religious person (Self-Harm and Karma: My Religion of Choice). I do not follow a specific religion or promote any kind of religious beliefs. I think everyone is welcome to believe what he or she wishes to believe, but as for me – I typically stay away from religion. However, if I were to believe in any kind of religion, it would be karma. It is very possible that karma can help you stop self-harm.
![Kalie Gipson, new author of Speaking Out About Self-Injury, talks about her struggles with self-harm and self-harm recovery.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2015/04/kalie-gipson-288x325.jpg?itok=wCRHS1-b "About Kalie Gipson, Author of "Speaking Out About Self-Injury"")
My name is Kalie Gipson, and I am a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in History and a minor in Psychology. Simply making it through middle school, high school, and college was an excruciating task for me, since I suffered from self-harm for seven of the past 10 years. It all started when I was 13, after a rather nasty argument involving my entire family. It quickly escalated into a psychological addiction to self-injury, one I had to answer to every time it called. After a few years, hiding the self-harm scars on my arms and legs became an exercise in futility.
![This is my last post with the "Coping With Depression" blog on HealthyPlace. I have learned so much - thank you!](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2015/04/My-Last-Post-With-the-Coping-With-Depression-Blog.jpg?itok=hc5gByXs "My Last Post With the "Coping With Depression" Blog")
After just over a year of blogging for HealthyPlace, it's time for me to move on from co-writing Coping With Depression. I've written dozens of blog posts, spoken on the HealthyPlace YouTube channel, and had hundreds of conversations with you. With each post I've written, I've grown as a writer and survivor of depression.
It's clear to me now that alcoholism recovery is the most important part of my life. Within the recovery community, especially among those with long-term sobriety, the notion of all-or-nothing pervades our approach to life in sobriety. We all have our own set of priorities, but if we, as recovering addicts, place anything or anyone in a position of greater importance than our sobriety, we run the risk of relapse. As a result, this warning is often shared with men and women when they begin to get their life back in sobriety, "Be prepared to lose everything you place before your alcoholism recovery."
Making and maintaining friendships when living with a mental illness takes effort, as it does for everyone. Maintaining friendships with a mental illness requires attention, sharing and emotional honesty which are some areas affected by symptoms of mental illness. Those who live with conditions like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder may need to put extra effort into keeping their friendships healthy.
Ever experienced unhelpful binge eating disorder tips from strangers? Although binge eating disorder doesn't have the same recognition as other eating disorders, I've found that people everywhere are willing to "help" you out with hints and tips that they just learned. Although this is similar to concern trolling, these hints and tips are slightly different. Whereas a concern troll is someone that cares about you and wants to help, these unhelpful binge eating disorder tips are from strangers that are disseminating questionable information in order to hear the sound of their own voices.
Escaping abusive relationships involves more than the escape plan, and you won't know the depth of your problems until you break free. But, as you plan your escape, it often feels as if getting out of the abuse will make everything better. And once you get out, you will have well-deserved stages of bliss - you will often feel much better! But at first, as often as you feel better, you will feel worse or confused or doubtful of your ability to create a life of your own. The aftermath of escaping abusive relationships is an emotional minefield that therapists won't warn you about. I can help you avoid some of those mines.
It's not surprising that a great number of human beings fear change and experience significant anxiety when it comes to the unknown. It makes sense, actually. From infancy to old age, people need predictable routines in order to thrive. We strive to create routines so we feel safe and secure, organized, in control, and confident in who and what is in our lives. Isn't it annoying and anxiety-provoking when change comes along and messes with us? While we won't be able to stop change from happening throughout our lives, happily we can do something about how we handle it. There are surprising ways to decrease the fear of change and quiet anxiety of the unknown.
Police shootings of the mentally ill are all far too common. Recently, a neighbor I nicknamed "The Little Old Lady with the Big Ol' Temper" found out her disability check was going to be a day late. This 4'10", 140-pound, 70-something lady grabbed her cane and started destroying the social worker's office. Two police officers responded, and she resisted. In the scuffle, her head went through a window. Many other encounters between police officers and people with mental illness have a less happy ending. According to the Maine Attorney General's Office, 58% of Maine residents killed by police had a mental illness(http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/samhs/osa/pubs/data/2013/SEOWEpiProfile2013FINAL.pdf). The rate may be similar nationwide, but there's no way to track it.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.