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Bette Midler's hit song of 1973, "(You Got to Have) Friends" includes the following lyrics:
Standing at the end of the road, boys
Waiting for my new friends to come
I don't care if I'm hungry or bored
I'm gonna get me some of them
For so long, these words described the life of my son Ben, as he restarted his emotional life after multiple hospitalizations with a diagnosis of Schizophrenia.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to win an argument with your abusive spouse? How would it feel to watch their face turn thoughtful as they realize your point is valid? Wouldn't it be great if your lover admitted defeat, sucked it up, and took one for the team? Yeah!
But hey - if you're in a relationship with an abusive spouse, that's probably not going to happen. And if it does happen, if you do win one time, you will pay for it either through their silence and withdrawal, their undermining, their outright rage or some other type of abuse.
There is no such thing as winning an argument with an abusive person. But it may be more important to understand that there's really no reason to win many arguments at all.
As I work, I battle the stigma around mental illness. It feels like often, all day, every day, it's the only thing I do. But I do it because I feel it's important. I feel it matters. I feel it changes people's lives.
And one of the misconceptions I've heard multiple times recently is about bipolar and mental illness diagnosis. That by accepting a diagnosis of a mental illness this somehow removes the responsibility from the individual for their own wellness. That, somehow, a mental illness diagnosis makes the patient weak because now they are looking for someone to "save" them or "cure" them.
Well nothing could be farther from the truth. Getting a mental illness diagnosis is only the first step in what a patient must do in order to recover.
I woke up in a cold sweat, terrified. My heart was racing and I was fighting nausea. I was still wearing the clothes I came home in the day before. I reached for my cell phone and quickly called 911. I was panicking and it was difficult for me to talk. I explained what was going on while the dispatcher tried to calm me and get me to take my pulse. Soon the paramedics and police were at my home.
I was freezing as they wheeled me out to the waiting ambulance. At the hospital, I told them that I had been in an area hospital for seven days for re-feeding and detox from alcohol and prescription drugs. I noticed a slight change in their attitude as they listened. Soon, I was told that it was caused by withdrawal from benzodiazepines, or tranquilizers. The ER staff then discharged me at 1:30 a.m.
I arrived home, confused and wondering if I would ever get better.
“Starting your own business is like riding a roller coaster. There are highs and lows and every turn you take is another twist. The lows are really low, but the highs can be really high. You have to be strong, keep your stomach tight, and ride along with the roller coaster that you started.” ~ Lindsay Manseau
Did you know that adults with ADHD are 300% more likely to be entrepreneurs? With the current economy, more and more people are deciding to create their own success by venturing into entrepreneurial business.
If you read my previous post detailing Bob's first inpatient admission to a psychiatric facility, you know I felt horrible about the decision, but hopeful Bob would get help. I also thought the hospital staff would see me as a concerned mother who wanted the best for her son. I had no idea what was actually in store for me and my husband.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So what does one do for depression? I’m not really sure, but there seems to be ample evidence of the importance of good nutrition in battling depression.
That’s not such good news for me, and I imagine others who suffer from depression feel the same way. It’s hard enough to make sure I take my various medications at the right time every day. Add the stress of balancing work and family—including three active kids who play sports year-round—and eating well ranks pretty low on the list.
When you are in treatment for a mental illness, you’ve likely undergone a certain amount of talk therapy. If you’re well into recovery, you may very well have experienced years of therapy and, hopefully, a measure of success at uncovering and eliminating negative patterns and gaining self-awareness. So, if you’ve walked the path to psychological enlightenment, disease management and overall mental health, can you have a romantic relationship with someone who’s never been in therapy?
In the past, I had been unable to work because my mental and physical issues were not properly treated. Working, while living with schizophrenia, is a great challenge. Many are not at the point were having a job is a viable option. There are those, however, who could work, given a proper environment, workplace accommodations, good medical treatment and a supportive community.
Today I was made aware of a site that went up specifically to make fun of, and show hatred towards, those with bipolar disorder. Specifically, the site is aimed at me and all those who use psychiatric services in the treatment of mental illness. Whoever wrote the site feels it's okay to take advantage of people with an illness, people who are in pain.
Well, it's not OK. We're not a joke. We are people. Real, flesh and blood people. And we do not accept your hatred. I do not accept your hatred.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.