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Sometimes people have a less than compassionate attitude toward trauma survivors. They may deny the experience, downplay it, blame the victim, or show ignorance. More Than Borderline's, Becky Oberg, discusses these attitudes in this BPD video.
I feel like I am doing a lot of apologizing lately. I am sick of saying: "I am sorry", "Sorry, I did not mean it", "Please forgive me" or this one is creative: "Please, let me steam clean your carpets because I am oh so sorry I called you a choice word when we were fighting...Did you need to borrow any money? Like my new leather boots? Take them. Because, dammit, I am so sorry!"
This is part two of an interview where I explore the inner-world of Electroboy, Andy Behrman. Mr. Behrman speaks candidly about bipolar myths, combating stigma, mania, depression and everything in between. In part one, Mr. Behrman discusses bipolar mania, his use of drugs and alcohol, and hypersexuality.
Counting down to 2013 means different things to different people, but I thought I'd take time out to share Verbal Abuse In Relationships greatest hits in 2012. Thank you for all of your encouragement and support throughout this year! I look forward to meeting more of you in the next 365 days. Happy New Year! May 2013 be full of support, encouragement and success for all, and your every day filled with love, light, and laughter.
A commenter recently asked about how to handle New Year’s Eve celebrations with bipolar disorder. Basically, she was concerned because her husband wanted to celebrate New Year’s but she would rather sleep through it to keep her bipolar in check. So the question is, what do you do if you’re feeling pressured into celebrations?
Domestic abuse victims often fall into addiction problems and I did too. I don't know why others develop addictions, but for me, I'd given up on figuring out why I was so miserable. I could not solve the mystery. So I sat on my behind and lost myself in The Sims 2, a video game that allowed me to create a pretend family of my choosing. I became addicted to the video game's fantasy family because I didn't have the energy for anything other than wishful thinking. I let the addiction take me over before I realized I was a domestic abuse victim, and before I could fathom life as becoming enjoyable ever again.
tneely
Talking about holiday stress, this time last year (2011), I was a holiday wreck and my mental health was in shambles. I searched high and low for a reason, any reason, to celebrate the holiday season. But I was still recovering from a severe bout with post-traumatic stress and overlapping bipolar moods that left me anxious, agitated and unemployed. My relationships with nearly everyone important to me, including my wife and children, were suffering in some way. Nothing really made sense to me (least of all happiness) and my ability to reason had temporarily left me. It was an odd feeling, being so pessimistic and not being able to help it. For the sake of my kids, I always managed to be an instant party in a box! But I could no longer counter my inner darkness by being the light of family photos and dinner parties. There was no energy left for coordinating gift exchanges or any other festivities. I just didn’t have it in me anymore.
When I think of mental illness--my journey sprinting through life alongside it-- I think of the image below. The famous Two Masks. I painted a picture of it, framed it, and gave it to my mother a couple of years ago. The irony was not lost on her. It hangs in the hallway; laughing at me. The masks represent bipolar disorder to me. They represent emotion on a whole--the entire spectrum. Like many people living with chronic mental illness, it's hard to find the parts that define the middle; the sort of happy bits that made us smile but were fleeting.
In 1841, a Boston schoolteacher named Dorthea L. Dix became interested in many social reforms, especially the treatment of the mentally ill. One Sunday, she went to the House of Correction in East Cambridge to hold a Sunday school class for female inmates. She was revolted by the filth, neglect, and despair of the mentally ill people who were held in the jail. She persuaded local authorities to improve the conditions, and began touring Massachusetts to see what needed to be done. In 1843, she wrote a tract called Memorial to the Legislature of Massachusetts, which called for drastic reforms.
If you're in recovery from an eating disorder, you can join me now in a collective sigh of relief.  We survived the holidays.

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Bella
Hi, Kayla. What is the first step that I need to do in order to stop biting myself and creating alarming bruises that I can't explain, or don't want to explain?
Bella
Is biting yourself till the point of where you get severely bruised, considered self-harm, or no?
Amy
I ate Healthy Choice Beef Merlot tonight. I did not even think about the fact it had Merlot in it!
I haven't had a drink in 9 years and two months.
I Googled everything on the subject and have come to the conclusion it is not a relapse.
However, I am going to read labels more carefully!
Tali
I look forward to being unconscious for 4-6 hours every night (if I'm lucky). I don't dream. It's the only relief I have. I used to enjoy video games, but my husband hated me playing them so I gave them up. I had my own business but my husband told me I had to stop, so I did. He walks out on me whenever I don't do what he wants. He's allowed to have hobbies and I better not complain, just take care of the kids. My whole life had to be given up because it suits him and I've become nothing more than a maid and a babysitter. I love my kids but I just don't think I can take him finding some new thing to take away every September when he starts ignoring all of us because of the fair he acts in every year that time. He straight out told me this year he loves fair more than me. I don't have anything left to try for, I'm not a young lady anymore. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live...live...survive anymore. I doubt what I've been doing can be qualified as living. Thing is the rest of the year he's good to us. But somehow it's always me, I'm the problem, he just turns it around. Always carry on, carried on before, like a machine. This time I don't have it in me. I swear if he says one more time to me if doesn't get to do one of his many hobbies he'll get depressed and kill himself I'm just going to lose it. He doesn't care what I've been carrying these past 12 years. Doubt he noticed. He didn't notice when he left for fair with me fresh out of abdominal surgery to take care of a newborn, 1 year old, and 3 kids under 10. Apparently it interfered with him so much he was annoyed with me for not being fully healed from it after only one week. Not sure who told him people heal from major surgery in a week, but whatever. I doubt he even notices unless it inconveniences him, but he'll only get mad if it does. I wish I had some helpful or inspiring words, but I don't. I'm just existing with no reason anymore. I had reasons before, but they don't make sense anymore. I want to cry, but even that is too much effort.
Roxie S. Mitchell
Exactly what I needed to read right now. After all, I've grown up being abused and then screamed at for crying afterwards, so this article is very insightful because it helps us realize that crying is actually a normal part of being a human. Thank you for this!