Blogs
For the past few posts I’ve been talking about the symptom clusters of combat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Today I will talk about the final category of PTSD symptoms: hyperarousal.
If there’s one thing that affects my bipolar moods above all else it is sleep. I consider getting the right amount of sleep to be critical in maintaining or achieving wellness. It’s also critical that this sleep happen at exactly the same time every night.
In short, being a control freak about sleep is a good thing.
I've written about my abuse at the hands of the Antioch movement and my escape. It took a long time before I could attend church again, and the abuse did much to exacerbate my symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). I had to find what the Bible calls "beauty for ashes." I had to find peace amidst the pain.
In my last post about being 24 and having an eating disorder, I looked back on my years in graduate school where I felt very lonely, even though I was often surrounded by many of my peers. Over time, and shortly after I started to get some help to manage my anxiety about food and body image, I had to understand why I had a tendency to engage in self-harm by binging and purging when I found myself in stressful situations.
I thought I'd share some simple ways which might help you gain some understanding of your eating disorder, though by no means do I claim that this might be the right way for you to go about your recovery process. This is simply me sharing my experience with you,and I do invite you to reach out to an eating disorder professional for support in your journey to recovery.
When someone has a bad hair day (as cliché as it sounds), they tend to go for the same hat or hairstyle to find a sense of comfort. Even when finding a seat in classroom or a stall in a bathroom, people tend choose what they are comfortable with and those decisions become almost habitual. The same goes for self-harmers when they feel triggered to hurt their bodies – they make choices based on what they know best.
This also goes hand-in-hand with what is used to cover up self-harm scars. Those who feel the need to cover up self-injury marks typically go for the same kind of solution – bracelets, make-up, long sleeves, etc. Everyone makes certain decisions to protect themselves from feeling a certain way or turning to certain behaviors.
The cycle of violence and abuse typically consists of three phases: tension-building, abuse, and honeymoon. The first two phases describe themselves and the honeymoon phase occurs after the abuse and gives the abuser a chance to beg the victim's forgiveness or otherwise convince the victim to stay. Over time, the tension-building and honeymoon phases tends to shorten or disappear, leaving us to wonder why abusive relationships can last so long. This routine makes staying in an abusive relationship manageable; both victim and abuser come to accept this routine as normal.
The most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published in 2013, changed the criteria for evaluating substance abuse problems and problems involving compulsive behavior, such as gambling. The DSM-5 includes the word "addiction" for the first time, in reference to pathological gambling, which the manual lists as a "behavioral addiction."
Sometimes it is hard to just sit and focus on the present. We are followed by past memories and are always jumping forward before we even have time to take a breath in the present. It is important to look to the future and learn from past mistakes and triumphs. However, it is also important to absorb the world you are surrounded by now.
![Learn ways to say NO and not feel guilty. Build self-esteem and maintain self-respect with these 29 ways to say no. Take a look.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2014/09/say-no-to-others.jpg?itok=UcetglEo "29 Ways to Say "No" and Keep Your Self-Respect")
Learn how to say no and not feel guilty. Build self-esteem and maintain self-respect with these ideas.
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. ~ Epictetus
Motivation
What causes you to take action? Do you have goals, whether it’s getting up early or exercising daily? Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts? Are you doing what brings you joy and happiness?
Motivation is the it I’m referring to. Motivation is simply your eagerness or desire to do something. Honestly, some days I don’t feel like springing out of bed to seize the day. Some days, I’m not fired up to take the hill of goals I or someone else set for me. Nor am I always inspired to take part in the political Merengue that permeates corporate culture. Though, on the other hand, I am not interested in lounging around the house or willing to spend the day as the song lyrics of Otis Redding goes:
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.