Yesterday, I celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. day by spending it with Bob. As I thought of what to write about this week, I thought of Mr. King and his dream. It was his dream to see people of all backgrounds together in harmony. This was a big dream. Almost impossible even. How could one man do such a thing? Martin Luther King, Jr. did so with perseverance.

Recently, I’ve been in a major funk. In my last blog, I brought up that I’ve been in a pretty low state and haven’t felt this way since, well, high school. It’s scary when old emotions come flooding back, especially if those emotions are negative. I’ve been feeling over-tired and unmotivated. I’d rather lie in bed all day than bring my dog for a walk or clean the apartment. However, over the past week, I have been really trying to push myself forward.

Saturdays have long been the hardest day of the week for me. There is so much unscheduled free time and my Adult ADHD feeds off of it. I've gotten really adept at remember to make task lists and having that be what leads my day, but even that hasn't been allowing me to feel relaxed and easy going on a Saturday. My wife had a heck of an idea the other weekend that I found really worked: make more than one list for free time.

Anxiety, as you are likely very aware, is about worry. Not just worry, but intense, consuming worry. It can take over our minds, causing our thoughts to race anxiously from one to the next. It can be miserable, keeping us up late into the night or consuming our days. We toss, turn, sweat, fret, and think, think, and think. Ironically, the thinking often contains the key to overcoming anxiety. You see, focusing your thinking, or mindfulness, can calm anxious thoughts.

I have never been thin. Nor overly large (I hate the word "fat"). I'm 49 years old, I'm in perimenopause and lately, it seems like everything I put in my mouth ends up as another half pound on the scale. It's so depressing!

Let me be clear, I love my son Ben with all my heart. That will never change. If you've followed this blog or read my book, you already know that about me. If you, too, love someone who has a mental illness, you share that feeling or you wouldn't be here on this site looking for support. But, let's admit it. These illnesses suck. Love my son, hate his schizophrenia.

Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build. ~ Robert Collier Awaken Your Imagination Other than your eyelids, what do you see when you close your eyes? Have you ever wanted to hear, taste, smell or feel something differently? You can. Just imagine it! Awaken your imagination to create ideas, images, and the environment you desire to see. When you visualize, you are tapping into your "mind's eye.” This means you have the power to see things with your mind. It is an amazing inherent human gift to be able to shape what happens in your daily life by changing your thoughts and expectations. To do this you must first change the way you view things in life and then your conditioned response to those things will change. Visualizing has been used by many successful people, for example, Oprah, Tony Robbins, Jim Carrey, Bill Gates, Michael Jordon, and even Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. High performing athletes have long benefited from visualization. It is practiced a lot in applied sports psychology. In their book Visual Athletics: Visualization for Peak Sports Performance (William C. Brown Publishers, 1990), Dr. Kay Porter and Judy Foster suggest that when you see yourself doing what you want in the way in which you desire, it produces a blueprint in the brain that manifests in the mind as if you have gone there in the body. Now-like any gift whether it is the gift of singing, dancing, or painting, you must practice - the mental rehearsal of visualizing.

One of the consolations of age is the transformation of one's relationship with time. As a young man, I agonized endlessly about the future, speculating and puzzling over a never-ending succession of questions. Would it arrive on time? Would there be enough of it to go around? Would it be in color? Would it be three-dimensional? Would it have sufficient volume to fill the allotted amount of space?

I have been asked by a reader to “explain the interaction between grief and PTSD”. Her brief question also made reference to “"PTSD symptoms" of flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts” whose content relates to her “death trauma”. There is a lot to respond to in this query. As with many common words, most of us don’t much pause when we encounter the word “grief”. It has, however, received a detailed and careful consideration in psychology, and I have written in detail about some aspects of this elsewhere. In summary, grief is a variety of a feeling called distress, which is the brain’s automatic response to loss. It lies on the high end of a continuum that runs from minor loss (say, of your car keys) to extreme loss (such as of a child), which can be called “anguish”. Put into words, that continuum might look like this: distress → sadness → sorrow → grief → anguish. In summary, grief is involuntary, fairly serious, and can become very serious.

Anger is a completely normal response for a person put in a life-threatening situation, and, of course, in a combat zone, that’s exactly what you’re in. Anger is even a helpful response during these times as it focuses you and gives you the energy to fight for your life. Anger is part of your survival instincts. However, if you have combat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), when you get home from combat, you may find yourself unable to turn off that anger. You might find that you’re reacting to everyday events with the rage that’s appropriate for a combat zone – not a grocery store. The anger of combat PTSD can negatively impact your family, work and social life.