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Sometimes, the parents I've worked with underestimate their children with with mental illnesses. They can find it hard to see the little victories and tend to only see the negative things. As a parent, I have been there. When Bob was struggling in school thanks to attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and I received complaints from the teacher or spent hours nagging him to finish his homework (until his tears of frustration came), it was SO very hard to see the positive things. But, there are days like today, when Bob surprises me.
People deeply involved in any way of looking at the human world tend to take that worldview with them wherever they go. So it is both with those committed to a religious tradition as well as those committed to evidence-based psychology and psychotherapy. Each of us will tend look at serious human problems from our respective viewpoints. This can get confusing. An excellent example of this came up recently with a question posted to Google+ for general comment by HealthyPlace.com:
Is forgiveness an important component of healing from trauma?
I suspect that individuals committed to both worldviews reacted to this question in fairly predictable ways. I know I did. My reaction was immediate: "Important? Absolutely not. Useful? It can be, but not in the way religious people tend to think." As I discussed the matter with a thoughtful and articulate individual, a richer picture emerged which is worth bringing to this venue, and elaborating on, for many reasons.
It can be so disheartening to suffer a setback after moving forward in anxiety recovery for so long. Your anxiety and/or panic were once so intense and they got in the way of your ability to fully live your life the way you wanted to live it. You wanted more for yourself, so you worked your way past the obstacles and you were doing great. But then something happened to make anxiety flare up again, and it felt like you went back to square one, no longer moving forward in anxiety recovery at all. Disheartening indeed.
I am about to take a vacation. In t-minus 1 hour-ish, I will be leaving for the great state (I assume) of North Carolina. Does having Adult ADHD impact how we have vacations? I think so - and I definitely think it impacts how we are able to get on the road. Planning, organizing and waiting are all things that can be tough.
It has always been difficult to face my fears and discuss my self-harm with loved ones. Even after five years without an intentional mark, I still fear opening up to family members and friends about it. When speaking to health classes, I find it much easier to bring forward my experiences with self-harm and suicide. However, when it comes to one-on-one conversations, I tend to freeze.
How come it is so difficult to talk to loved ones about our experiences with self-harm?
While there seems to be no definitive, medical evidence that links laughter with improved serotonin levels (the lack of which is said to play an integral part in depression), laughter is definitely the unsung hero when it comes to alleviating depression symptoms.
Self-care must be number one on your to-do list. Remember that your body is your temple. It is the only place 'your Self' has to live. Life’s responsibilities are countless for many of us. And in trying to juggle those responsibilities we neglect to take care of ourselves--our temple. We might think about our physical health but that is often where it begins and ends.
![Self-harm is a choice we make but we can make other choices. A childhood movie reminded me of how important it is to focus on you and the choices you make.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2014/02/IRON-GIANT-superman-.jpg?itok=AnGvIeVV "Self-Harm, "The Iron Giant", and The Choices You Make")
Years ago, my brother introduced me to a movie called The Iron Giant. Some of you may know of this movie and if you’ve never seen it – you need to. You may think it is just another silly, cartoon, kid’s movie about robots, but it most definitely is not. This movie has positive messages that everyone can learn from – especially teenagers and adults.
My last blog discussed the good and the bad of the Internet and how it can lead to different behaviors and thoughts. I coincidentally came across a picture of The Iron Giant when re-directing myself from a stressor and it reminded me about how powerful the movie really is.
“You are what you choose to be.” Not only is that the main message in the movie, it is also something we should follow on a daily basis.
Next week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. There is a lot to be said about educating other people about eating disorders. A lot of misconceptions and stereotypes surround eating disorders that need to be remedied. People have to know what having an eating disorder really means if we want them to support us on our road to recovery. And it is really difficult to talk to others about your illness if you're not convinced of its legitimacy yourself. But remember, your eating disorder is a real illness.
When you live with anxiety, it's frustrating to be told that it's "all in your head." Great news: you can begin to let go of this maddening annoyance. Anxiety isn't "in your head." Why? Because it is in your head. Literally. Anxiety is in your brain.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.