Dating When You Are Open About Bipolar

What is dating like for me as someone open about my life with bipolar 2 disorder?

In today's dating world, a social media search is the first step in getting to know a person. When I decided to come forward publicly about my life with bipolar 2 disorder on various social media platforms, I knew that many people would be aware of this personal part of my life sooner rather than later. When it coming to dating and being open about my bipolar disorder, it has led to a lot of questions, curiosity, and some rejection.

The Cons of Dating When You Are Open About Bipolar Disorder

The cons of dating when you are open about bipolar disorder are both trivial and extreme. A lot of times, when the person I am dating is aware, there are small signs of gas lighting, not in an intense way but it is still its present. Some guys are just not interested, but there are some that use me as a platform for their insecurities. They use my bipolar disorder as a free pass out of the situation. It can be seen in their language towards me when things begin going south, or I defend myself in particular situations. All of a sudden things start to turn on me.

I have responded very strongly in some circumstances, which has only done more damage than good. An example of this is when I ended things with a guy recently. We got into an argument, and I received a text from him, regarding my openness about bipolar, saying "It is too easy for me just to call you crazy. I win."

It caused me to react with such anger, not bipolar rage, but a typical reaction to such an awful thing said. However, I have never questioned my career path as an advocate, because the thing is, I win at the end of the day. I am surrounded by a loving community of supportive individuals who give me love on a daily basis.

The Pros of Dating When You Are Open About Bipolar Disorder

When I am getting to know someone, I want them to judge me based on my character, not my condition. I am an individual, and my job as a mental health advocate and my bipolar diagnosis is a significant part of my life, however, it does not define me.

In an interview I did with Teen Vogue in May 2017 about dating with bipolar disorder, I confronted this topic. My openness about bipolar disorder does a lot of the dirty work for me. When I say "dirty work," I mean that when someone rejects me based on the fact that I have bipolar disorder, it saves me a lot of time and a lot of headaches. It is a major red flag. I look at it as a character flaw of the other individual. In my opinion, it translates to me as this person is not open-minded and is reluctant in confronting a challenge.

Bipolar disorder can give another person many gifts. I am confident in this notion, and carry it with me into any romantic relationship. I need someone who is strong and going to embrace my vibrancy as well as my moments of chaos. I will do the same for him because guess what? We are all flawed, whether you have a mental health condition or not. I am grateful for bipolar disorder, in the sense that it weeds out the weak and leaves room for the strong.