So how should we cope with the loss of a negative coping skill? We should build, maintain and rely on a support system; we should understand and accept that we are grieving a loss; and we should concentrate on taking care of ourselves.

Codependency, like addiction, is a serious problem that can affect many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Codependency is a behavioral and psychological condition in which a person sacrifices his/her own wants and needs in order to maintain an unhealthy relationship. It is also called "relationship addiction." Codependency is probably due to the intense fear and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment common in BPD.

Sometimes I have trouble with nightmares and night terrors. Recently I had one that made me think about how spirituality can help or harm an individual with severe mental illness, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD).

So that's what I wish I'd known, and would say to anyone facing their first hospitalization. The hospital is not a punisment. You are a member of the treatment team. Staff will not hurt you.

In order to set boundaries, we have to believe we are worth having boundaries. We must believe that we have the right not to be violated. We must have the self-esteem to say no.

Do you have an addiction disorder in addition to borderline personality disorder? If so, you're not alone. The good news is you can fight back! Knowing warning signs of relapse is key to preventing it.

It hurts to have borderline personality disorder (BPD), especially when trauma is a factor. However, people can cause what's called secondary wounding--that is, they can hurt by a person by their reactions when he/she turns to them for help. In her book I Can't Get Over It, Dr. Aphrodite Matsakis writes "Some victims reported that their secondary wounding experiences were more painful and devastating than the original traumatic event."

This is a hard piece for me to write because it involves recognizing emotional abuse and the events leading up to my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It may be triggering to fellow survivors of emotional abuse. If you aren't in a place where you can read about it, don't read this piece. It's okay not to be ready to face your past by hearing about mine.

There are positive and negative coping skills you can use when you're stressed. As a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD), I have to work especially hard to use the positive coping skills. The negative coping skills, such as self-harm, are my default coping skills. Recently I've learned a few things that make choosing the positive coping skills easier.

In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis wrote There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. Sometimes religious people can fall into the latter category, seeing demons behind every coffee cup--especially when it comes to demons of mental illness in general and borderline personality disorder (BPD) in particular.