"I do not want to live in a world where everything I do and say is recorded. That is not something I am willing to support or live under." - Edward Snowden The recent revelations by Edward Snowden as to the extent of American spying, is the closest most people will get to experiencing schizophrenic paranoia. The idea that everything you do on your computer is being stored and analyzed by algorithms for use by the state would give anyone the creeps. For a person who suffers from intense paranoia, it only increases the discomfort ten-fold.

Thought manipulation and alien persecution are common themes in delusions associated with schizophrenia. I wrote this poem several months after I was off my schizophrenia medication and believed that celestial beings were controlling my thoughts. In essence, these other worldly entities were the puppeteers of my ideas and actions, and I was their marionette. It was a truly terrorizing experience that many people with schizophrenia endure.

We, as schizophrenics, must band together to form our own culture, art and way of life. We need to be recognized as a people who have a unique perspective to offer this world. Even a disability as debilitating as schizophrenia can have strengths built into its terrible nature. With the advent of medication and advanced treatment we are capable of forming our own ideas, opinion and voice that can strengthen us as a disabled people.

Having Schizophrenia does not mean that you should be treated unjustly. We deserve the same basic rights as anyone else experiencing a debilitating illness. (Schizophrenia is an Illness, Not an Evil) Our disease is just that, a disease and nothing more. I am not a flu virus when I am sick, nor am I a bacteria when I have an infection. Why should we even call ourselves “schizophrenics”, as if our illness is attached to our very souls? We have beating hearts, and are veins bleed like anyone else. Our emotions are hurt when we are abused and our passion is just as strong, even if it is sometimes misplaced. Everyone is defective in some manner, so why should we be thought as being less?

This August, I was the victim of two burglaries by four rumored gang members.  The perpetrators were caught in the act by the Cincinnati Police Force at the scene of the crime.  A plea agreement was reached and sentencing will soon be carried out. Being the victim of a serious crime can be a traumatic event for anyone.  The experience was even more difficult for me because it helped to aggravate my Schizophrenia symptoms.  Paranoia began to set in soon after the crime, some justified and some unfounded.  The boundaries between justifiable paranoia and irrational paranoia began to blend together.  Real and imagined danger became one, and I was left cowering in my room.

What is it that causes Schizophrenia? What is it that makes one see, hear and think the inconceivable? Freud believed that Schizophrenia was caused by repressed homosexuality, a theory with no solid evidence. Nevertheless the idea is still perpetuated amongst certain circles of psychoanalysts who are misguided by an outdated theory. Why is this?

Many with Schizophrenia, like myself, have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives. The experience can be humiliating and complicate the treatment and symptoms that we suffer through. It is nearly impossible to recover without this basic necessity. Though the overall experience of homelessness was degrading, there was a certain freedom that it also allowed me.

Psychotic episodes are not random ideas, thoughts and noises within our mind. They are stories that follow certain patterns and sequences that are logical to us at the time. There is nothing "disorganized" about a psychotic episode. To prove this point, I have written several of my psychotic episodes onto paper and turned them into fictionalized stories. Some of these have been published by alternative magazines, while others still sit on my shelf. Turning my psychotic episodes into an art has been therapeutic and helped me to confront my horrifying past.

Originally the purpose of this blog, "Creative Schizophrenia", was to create a new form of art, that had not previously been done before.  To make a new style of writing based upon irrational thought rather than that of irrational emotions.  To turn Schizophrenia into an art form.  I never intended to be an advocate for people with Schizophrenia nor did I intend to offer support. That was more of an unintended side effect.

Though I write a blog on Schizophrenia, I have no clinical experience on the subject. In fact, I have rarely spoken with someone suffering from the same debilitating condition which I am afflicted with. I can only remember a few times that I had a conversation with someone who was actively psychotic. One of these occurred at a local coffee shop in the heart of Cincinnati several months ago when a man walked in with tattered, unwashed clothes and sat down on a stool next to mine. He was convinced that he was Superman and that Republicans were following him and putting ideas in his head. Even to me, these ideas seemed particularly bizarre and I almost laughed. Yet I could not help but realize that I, myself, could have easily succumbed to a similar fate if it was not for the medical attention and care I have received throughout the years.