Parenting a child with mental illness is challenging enough. Add to that a snarky attitude and it does not bode well for anyone. So what do you do with a stinky, snarky attitude? Unfortunately, you need to deal with it. For example, Bob's 12 now and has been increasingly responding rudely and disrespectful towards me (which upsets me to no end because I'm his mother & primary caregiver). Beyond the usual suspects for snarky attitude - physical illness, hunger or fatigue, Bob's attitude can be attributed to the onset of puberty. But, some of it is also due to his inattentiveness and impulsivity (symptoms of ADHD-combined). When on medication, Bob's mouth is less rude. Once the Concerta (12-hour release) is out of his system, there comes the 'tude. Bob has a tendency to express more negative attitude as a result. After my own Saturday dose of snark from Bob, I came up with  some tips on how not to get frustrated when Bob's mouth runs away with itself.

Tragic and traumatic events seem to happen often. More and more, parents have tough conversations about why these things happen. Even if parents take measures to limit awareness of scary events, as with the Boston marathon bombings, children still have access to the news. Due to easy access to the news, children often see traumatic events unfold in real time. They are exposed to scary events through television, computers, smartphones or even word of mouth. As a result, children get scared and may experience symptoms of trauma.

Over the past month, I've been writing about taking care of you, taking care of your child and eating right to help manage your child's mental illness to help parents improve their mental health and wellness. In the video below, you'll find my tips to how getting enough sleep can help you reduce stress and be a better parent.

Saying No is probably THE hardest thing to do. But, not only with the kids. I'm talking about saying no to other adults - friends and family. While parenting a child with mental illness is a challenge, having the adults in your life asking you for things may add to the stress you already feel. Piling on more things to do when you're already under pressure is no good. And that's no way to practice good self-care.

Self-esteem is so important when parenting a child with mental illness. "Mom, I'm abnormal." I froze. as my son said this on the way home from my father's house. After yet ANOTHER difficult conversation with my father about my son's abilities and capabilities, Bob said this on the way home from my father's house. Bob's self-esteem took a hit. Self-Esteem Shot Down Bob forgot there was no after-school today and went there anyway instead of staying at school in their program. My father made a big stink about Bob forgetting that and barely acknowledged that Bob did the right thing by calling me and him. Instead of telling Bob what a good job he did, my father fixated only on Bob's forgetfulness. I felt SO bad for Bob. How do you respond when your child says he or she is "abnormal?" How do you help improve your child's self-esteem especially around his or her mental health diagnosis. Here's what I did.

Last week, I wrote about self-care, or taking care of you while caring for your child, and why it is so important to your child's well-being as well as your own. Many times, we parents leave ourselves for last while caring for our children.

Self-Care? What's that? Self-care is a term I learned while in graduate school studying mental health counseling. Self-care is what you do to take care of yourself. Sounds simple, but it's not. So much of our focus as parents of children with mental illness is on our kids. The last thing we do is think of ourselves. How can we? Parents have kids and take care of them. But, what do you do when you're run down? When was the last time you slept or ate well? The last time you had ten minutes to sit and do nothing? If you can't think of the last time you practiced good self-care, you're way overdue.

In my last post I shared three tips for having tough conversations with loved ones about your child’s mental illness. If you haven’t had a chance to read them, check them out. Here are my final three tips on how to advocate for your child and get support from others. Tough conversations are hard, but with these tips, people can come around.

Hiya readers! Mental illness advocacy is important and can take place even in the context of your own family. I recently shared some of my challenges in giving my father the talk about Bob's ADHD diagnosis.  It wasn't easy. For a few reasons - the biggest one being that I was afraid of how my father would react. For someone like me who wasn't allowed the freedom to feel all of my feelings (including anger) towards my father, I grew up thinking that I couldn't ever be upset because it was SO scary for me. So you can imagine advocating for my son's mental illness didn't come easy to me. I grew up thinking that my heart was going to jump out of my chest anytime I thought about asserting myself much less confronting someone. Before having my child, I didn't. I was more passive in showing my feelings. They existed, but in a roundabout way.

Giving the talk about mental illness has been one of the challenges I’ve faced as Bob’s mother (and a therapist). In Bob’s case, it has been teaching others about his ADHD.  Teamwork doesn't always happen. There are some people who don’t buy into the idea that mental illness exists. So, I teach them about it. One of those people is my father.