I still fight the mental illness self-stigma that tells me not to let people know when I am affected by mental illness and feeling sick. When you have a mental illness, it is difficult to admit to other people that you are, indeed, affected by your illness. I feel weak at times and want to blame myself and my treatment team for my mental health relapse. And most of all, I fail to realize that this mental illness thing is going to affect me and there is nothing I can do about it.

When you have a mental illness, particularly bipolar disorder, your moods can alter rapidly, gradually or barely at all during periods of your life. It all depends on the individualized experience of the person who has the illness. Quite often, we self-stigmatize our emotions and ask, “Am I actually feeling a certain way because of my own pure emotions, or am I experiencing these emotions because of my mental illness?”

In the throes of a mental illness episode, especially psychosis, the theme of God seems to appear and reoccur among many people, often leaving us wondering, why is that? This also causes a lot of people to sneer and stigmatize the spiritual experience of someone who has a mental illness (What Is Stigma?). Is there a logical explanation why people have such life-changing spiritual experiences during this time? Many people are funny about religion/spirituality and are very often put off by people that become intensely committed to God, but I often contemplate the meaning and significance behind these spiritual experiences.

We all know that being a youth can be a rewarding journey with growth and plenty to learn, however, it can also be a very difficult and confusing time. It can mean being a bully or being the brunt of bullying at school and it can also spell doom and gloom for many youth that feel they do not fit in due to having a mental illness. Through these difficult times, can you imagine also having to deal with a mental health condition, which brings on mental health stigma?

I know plenty of people who have a mental illness, including myself, and quite often there is a recurring theme of stigma in our relationships with our significant other; where we often feel like a burden to our partner, and when treated poorly, we tend to discern that we do not deserve any better. Having a mental illness can negatively affect your self-esteem and self-worth, which is often reflected in the way we view ourselves and we quite often accept a partner’s behavior that negatively affects our well-being.

There is so much pain in self-stigma, especially when it comes to our body image and looking in the mirror. We often hate ourselves because we have a mental illness, not realizing that we are not a terrible embodiment of our illness. We are simply people that have struggles and face unique challenges stemming from our mental illness. For example, being tired all the time, being overweight because of medication, and even being unable to work. We seem to give up on the belief that one day things will be better and fail to trust that others will understand us. I have learned that life has many surprises in store for us and, at times, we may just get to understand that we are not exactly what we see in the mirror.

Mental health stigma affects all people differently and it is particularly unique when you are experiencing mental illness as a man. Men are raised to be tough, dependable, and the majority of men may even find it difficult to express emotion. There is prominent stigma in our society that tells men who have a mental illness that they simply just have to "suck it up."

Have you heard of the term self-stigma? Once you are diagnosed with a mental illness, many people feel that they are somehow tainted, mostly because of mental health stigma. Not only do they feel this outwardly, but also in how they perceive their internal sense of who they are as a person. It is not uncommon to experience shame of having a mental illness, and instead of knowing that you are a person who has an illness, you often forget you are not someone who is the illness. This is at the center of self-stigma.

The most prevalent question I receive from my Bipolar Babe peer support group participants is, “I met a wonderful guy/girl and she/he wants to take me out on a date, so do I tell them that I have a mental illness?” It’s a valid question and a concern that many people have right from the start, with good reason. It can be scary telling someone, anyone, for the first time that you have a mental illness due to the stigma that exists in society. In my personal experience, and hearing stories from others, mental health stigma and intimate relationships can spell doom and gloom, or they can provide a positive platform for empowerment and honesty.

Looking back on my younger years, my early 20s to be exact, I recall life being so different. My most significant worries were breaking up with, yet again, another boyfriend, choosing which nightclub to frequent with my girlfriends for the weekend, and what bikini I was going to wear to the beach for the approaching summer season. There were barely any worries as I was an avid social butterfly, and made new friends everywhere I went, and most especially I never had a problem being social.