Two common responses to verbal abuse include fawning and appeasement. Although they share some similar characteristics, each is unique and can produce alternative results. I used to think appeasement was the same as fawning, but I was wrong.
Healing After Abuse
Advice for verbal abuse is often sought. This call for help can be subtle or obvious, depending on their personality. Not surprisingly, I've been on both sides of this scenario. Although it can be easy to give verbal abuse advice, following it may be more challenging.
I consider conditional love to be part of verbal abuse. Not all verbally abusive behaviors are apparent. Instead of demeaning insults or threats, sometimes it involves less obvious actions, like withholding affection. This type of conduct can still be harmful to anyone who is the target of conditional love and verbal abuse from a person they care about.
Managing attention-deficit/hyperactivity (ADHD) behaviors can be challenging for many people, especially those in abuse recovery. Often, triggers can amplify a person's reactions to someone's actions or words. In some cases, like mine, my battle with ADHD helped fuel my verbal abuse recovery process.
Verbal abuse can affect many areas of life, including your view of body image and diet. Because this abusive tactic targets your self-esteem, experiencing negative comments about your weight can directly impact how you manage food consumption. In short, verbal abuse can affect your diet choices.
Verbal abuse can happen in team sports. Sports have existed for thousands of years, available to people of all cultures and ages. Unfortunately, so has verbal abuse. When these two worlds integrate, the results can be devastating. Verbal abuse in team sports can come from coaches, players, parents, or spectators, affecting everyone.
Practicing self-care is not selfish. If you struggle with caring for your needs, you aren't alone. Individuals who are targets of verbal abuse often neglect themselves because they are hypervigilant about their abuser's behaviors. This increased alertness can cause extreme sensitivity to your environment, causing you to overreact in some situations. Living in this continuous state of fear and anxiousness drains you mentally and physically, creating a self-care deficit. It's important to learn that it's not selfish to practice self-care.
I have anxiety after verbal abuse. One tool I've picked up from my years of therapy is using words of affirmation. I think how you talk to yourself can help reinforce positive beliefs and improve your self-esteem. I've been using this strategy for years now to help heal from verbal abuse. However, more recently, I've noticed that it can also help calm my anxiety even when I'm not facing verbal abuse.
Change is critical when healing from verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is a damaging tactic that many individuals use in relationships for various reasons. Although it may be common, this method of communication is harmful to the recipient. It can cause negative side effects for years, even after the verbal abuse is no longer present. The only way to move away from verbal abuse and heal is to change.
Facing verbal abuse is an awful situation to be in, regardless of your age or the circumstances. Often, if someone is dealing with verbal abuse, they don't have the strength or confidence to stand up for themselves. This situation can allow the abuse to continue and worsen over time. However, some people can face abusers and call them out on their behavior when they aren't the victim of the situation. Why is it easier for some people to stand up against others facing verbal abuse?