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Have you ever tried being something that you’re not? I think it’s safe to say that all of us have gone through this at some point in our lives. It makes us feel as if we are a fake, and that we’re being untrue to ourselves. It may also lead to deep depression and low self-esteem, especially when it comes to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ) individuals. Those who identify as LGBTQ have a higher chance of self-harm, substance abuse, and eating disorders, for example, which are all linked to depression.
It is no secret that the holidays are stressful for everyone, however, for someone with a mental health disorder, they can be derailing. All of the additional activity and added responsibilities can prove to be too much excitement, or can cause the development of additional challenges for those with various mental health diagnoses. Here are some things that come about during the holidays that can make it especially hard for those who are struggling with a mental health disorder.
Sometimes, I suffer from catastrophic thinking. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but recently I fell for the old "one million Neopoints" scam. For those of you not familiar with Neopets.com, it's an addictive site in which you own a pet and play games with it. The "one million Neopoints" scam is against the site's Terms Of Service. As a result of my stupidity, my account of 10 years may be frozen, causing me to lose everything I worked for. And equally embarrassing to admit, this has caused me a great deal of stress. I've had nightmares about it. I even have a surgical procedure scheduled in February and the Neopets thing is stressing me out more. This is typical for my borderline personality disorder (BPD)--just about anything can seem like the end of the world, like a catastrophe.
When I arrived as a freshman on the campus of an Ivy League university, I was shocked by the amount of binge drinking and casual sexual encounters I saw on campus. Within the first week, I witnessed one of my dorm mates lying on the floor, muttering incoherently and slowly vomiting brown ooze.
Even though the New Year has barely begun, many people have already fallen short when it comes to resolutions. People often go into the New Year with bright expectations and when those expectations do not work out as hoped, people may give up. For those trying to handle both daily life and living with mental illness, giving up on New Year's resolutions is not the best decision when hoping to turn over a near leaf and stay free of self-harm/self-injury.
Two weeks ago my son Bob told me he got a Saturday detention for skipping gym class. He said they were swimming and he didn't want to swim. Later, I went online and discovered Bob was failing physical education (PE). This was maddening to me since Bob was an athlete and strong swimmer. I knew instinctively this had nothing to do with swimming and everything to do with my son's mental illness. The screaming question in my head was, "What do I do now?"
Most people don't have a confident plan to achieve their goals or New Years Resolutions. They go about goal setting all wrong and wind up feeling less confident and more insecure. Don't be one of them. Use the SMART technique in this video to help you feel confident in achieving whatever you desire this year.
My depression is making me feel numb about New Year's. I actually went to bed at 10:30 p.m. on New Year's Eve, an hour before my usual bedtime. When hundreds of thousands of households partied and cheered to welcome 2015, when the clock struck 12:00 a.m., I was sound asleep.
Making a resolution to stop an old behavior, or start a new one, is about more than changing the action itself. We also need to develop a lifestyle and environment around the change we want to make. Some people blame the concept and say our annual failings only serve as proof that New Year's resolutions don't work. In reality, the reasons we fail have less to do with making resolutions and more to do with the fact that we lack the lasting motivation that will sustain us through thick and thin.
When you're ready to quit drinking, stop smoking, or get off drugs, it doesn't matter if you start on January 1st or July 14th. If you're ready now, here are four essential steps to making that a lasting change in the New Year.
Anxiety is a great obstacle, a jagged rock in the lives of tens of millions of human beings. Anxiety definitely isn't a state of being that most of us would describe as pleasant. It worms its way into our thoughts, tricking us into believing that there’s a lot to fear and to worry about, that we are ruining all sorts of things. Anxiety makes us feel sad, afraid, choked and crushed. It makes us feel miserable in countless ways, and because of that, we want it to vanish from our lives without a trace. But one way to deal with anxiety is to think of life like a Zen garden.
I believe she will only be able to rid herself of her demons, and hopefully her BPD as well, when she's ready to confront the abuse of her father. If she can put the blame where it belongs, she may stop projecting that victim/perpetrator cycle on the present men in her life. These demons are a metaphor for the purgatory she has created for herself. That reality has consequences in the real world, but it need not be real in the tangible sense. Exorcising her demons will require the expenditure of real physical energy and probably the destruction of aspects of her personality. If this ever happens, and it's possible but not probable, then these demons will evaporate. They are only as real as one's personality is real. In short, reality is not the question, it's what you make of the things you feel to be real.