Day One of Bipolar Recovery

Today was supposed to be the first day of my new, improved life. I made an appointment to see a therapist about helping me develop coping mechanisms toward the stress in my life. What I got was a therapist who spewed words at me like yoga, massage, acupuncture and journaling. Okay, lady, I’ve heard those all before! I need something that I can do internally to help my problem. Self help in a little bottle would be nice, but I’m not expecting miracles here. I just want good internal self talk that will point me in the direction of bipolar recovery.

On the road to bipolar recovery

She did give me good advice. She told me to get a little inspirational book that will help me remember where I’m going. And I am going to journal more often. I don’t tend to journal for myself and I do need to start doing that. As for yoga, massage, and acupuncture—I don’t have the money or the inclination to do that. When I start school I won’t have the time to do that. She did mention meditation. I think I might look up some classes on how to do that. I think good internal self-talk will make a world of difference.

So, I’m on the road. Day one wasn’t so bad now that I think about it. I’m going to hit some bumps along the road. It isn’t going to be easy, but I intend to make it through. It’s so important to me that I’ll be able to live a better life. I owe it to myself to get on my own bandwagon. It’s time for change and I intend to do it!

Next week I have an appointment with my psychiatric nurse. I want her to know that I am now extremely serious about bipolar recovery. This is the first time that I’ve ever told her that I’m ready to relinquish a little control in the meds department in order to regain more control over my life. I’m extremely nervous about the new direction I’m heading in, but I have to jump. It’s the only way my road to recovery is to be successful. I have to trust that she, too, wants the best for me. And that’s so very scary to me.

But, regardless, of how scary it is, I am going to do it. Life is full of chances and I haven’t been taking many of them since my diagnosis in 2006. I’ve been playing it safe and listening to all the warnings out there about how medication is dangerous for a bipolar. I can still hear my best friend in a memory in my head warning me that I was taking too much medication. I told her then as I would tell her now to butt out. It’s my life here, not hers. Too much medication will only be problematic if it’s the wrong one. I’ve been there, done that. I know my options. Now it’s my chance to shine.