Learning to Trust Myself in Eating Disorder Recovery

When I reflect on the years I struggled through my eating disorder; bulimia, and its recovery, it reminds me of how resilient human beings can be. In extreme times, whether tough or the opposite, I sometimes find myself appreciating my own inherent resolve not to self-harm.

I Trust That I am Worthy of Eating Disorder Recovery

Living with recovery has taught me that the world doesn’t have to be a lonely place. While I might, at times, feel like I'm the only one going through the issue of the day, deep down recovery from an eating disorder is also about understanding that I'm not alone. I see that in my conversations with family, but also with complete strangers who share common experiences, such as those of you who write me on social media or leave comments on this blog. While it's not something everyone feels ready to do, for those of you who do share about your struggle to keep going through recovery, or who have questions about how to start the eating disorder recovery process, every step we collectively take to reach out in our own way, is a step towards recovering and maintaining that recovery.

I Trust That I've Stayed Recovered So Far

I'd like to share with you that a big part of what keeps me going in staying recovered, is that I realize there is always room to learn from my setbacks, and that these setbacks are never to be taken as failures. I've learned to trust myself about the fact that I can avoid self-harm; that I can rise to the occasion when triggered and not give in to past behaviors because it is completely within my control and within my grasp not to do so.

Every time I feel stressed or triggered, I ask myself if what I feel like doing will be of service to maintaining my recovery. More often than not, it isn't. I then take the time to fully let myself feel whatever feeling has taken over me; if I feel like crying, I take a moment for myself and I cry. If I feel like venting, I reach out to a trusted friend and I do so without fear of judgment. Ultimately, the goal is to let go of the negative thoughts by acknowledging them but also by reminding myself of how far I've come. Simply put, I should never underestimate what I've overcome throughout my eating disorder recovery, and neither should you.

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