Does Living With a Mental Illness Mean I'm Not Normal?

What a silly title, right? After we reach adult maturity--hopefully before--we understand that the word 'normal' means very little. It is socially constructed and does not do anyone any good. But that does not mean it is not attached to our psyche, our feelings, in one way or another.

'Normal' is a Feeling

Yes, it can be a feeling. The word itself is useless, many words are, but this one carries some baggage and a strange juxtaposition.

Some people don't want to be 'normal'. They see it as a curse.

Example A:

"What do you mean I'm normal? That's so boring!" Ahem.

Perhaps, this person has a life involving socially 'normal' things such as working eight hours a day, a relationship that looks pretty good on paper, maybe a damn white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a 12 pound yapping dog that runs laps around the manicured backyard, irritating neighbors (sorry, that last bit involves my neighbors).

Let's assume they are content--I liken a state of 'content' with relative 'happiness' (another silly word)--but maybe feel they are missing out on something. On life!

Maybe they should travel more; jump out of an airplane! Sure, the job is great. The family is a unit, as a family should be, they believe. But they think to themselves, maybe late at night when they remember being younger and dancing: "My life is so normal!"

And said person wakes up, goes to work, and maybe comes home smiling. This person cannot define normal but they can attach feelings to it.

Exhibit B:

A person recently diagnosed with a mental illness. Life has become pretty hectic, or maybe it has always been, that's part of the illness. The life before recovery is found, claimed and cherished.

This person might think, while unable to sleep, "Why can't I be normal!" A perfectly reasonably, human thought. Said person might think of other people in their lives; maybe their neighbor with the yapping dog they would not mind kicking (metaphorically, of course).

It is reasonable for this person to believe that a white picket fence and 2.5-ish kids is normal.

Feeling as if we want to be something else, act in a different way, and have more control of our life is a human experience. It is part of the human condition.

'Normal' is Just a Word: Mental Illness is a Diagnosis

So, now we have sort of established this: 'Normal' is a word--it is a word that, when connected to mental illness, increases stigma. A generally useless word. If we apply this word to our mental health, if we try to obtain a state that does not exist, recovery is more difficult.

Instead of idealizing 'normal' focus on the word recovery. Recovery is a journey and eliminating the word 'normal', all of the idiotic connotations associated with it, allows us to focus on what really matters: becoming well and staying well.