I’m Mentally Ill and I Am Not Ashamed

go to www.brainwavesmachine.webs.com,and read it all,and i heard from one of your stories that you mentally ill,so what i want help with is for you to input as the subject/message to go to www.brainwavesmachine.webs.com,and do what it says to do to save billions of peoples lives,and wait for whatever period of time at the place to input someones email address for a voice in your head that finishes the same instant it starts and reads peoples minds and helps you to come into your head,itll say the email address of one whom will help you to do what the website says to do to save billions of peoples lives

I too am mentally I'll, suffering from PTSD, agoraphobia, social and generalized anxiety disorder, and bi polar disorder. I don't know if its me making myself feel worthless or those around me. I'm on a major downswing and feel completely lost. I'm a failure At life, I'm disabled, on SSDI and I use to be the breadwinner of the family. I wish I could find the courage you have.

Hello,
I'm mentally ill since i was a child.I didn't born like this and this is not my fault.I went through mental-abuse from my mother that managed a double game - when nobody saw she did and said horrible and terrifying things , and near the other family she acted like a lovely and poor mother that has an ill child.
I believe that family dysfunction is the reason for most of mental disorders , and it has various of consequences.
Because my nerves were almost always altered, some nerves are defected and i feel strange non-normal sensations that mentally-healthy person will never experience - sometimes i feel kind of pre-syncope state and very strange feeling that i can't explain , i feel heat and like i'm going to fall,with or without dizziness. Other non normal feeling is after i eat and feel heavy it's hard for me to sleep because when i fall into sleep phase then i immediately wake up and breathing very rapidly , like i didn't have enough air , till my breathing stabilizing, and it happens 3-4 times till i can sleep normally.
The world is getting better now, and i hope that the normal people that produce the mentally ill people will loose their rights on "educating" their children.

I think one of the things that I can get really caught up in is "shoulda coulda wouldas." Yeah, I shoulda not reacted to that person's post. Yeah, I coulda stopped posting a response to it. Yeah, I woulda stopped if I had realized I was feeding trolls.
Sometimes I catch it, now. Sometimes in the middle of a post, I just drop the whole thing, because I realize it's this guy's problem, not mine.
But it took me twenty plus years to get to this point, once I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
And I went from: "What's wrong with me?" to "Why have I got this illness?" to "Why should I have to take this much medicine?" to "Is it me? Or is it the illness?" to "I am not my illness!" to "Okay, how do I work around my illness?" to "Yeah, I've experienced that; I can help someone else through it." to "Hey! This illness has some aspects that I can embrace!"
I am seeing a lot more about my illness than I ever could. And the more I learn about myself and my illness, the more I realize that other people's opinions don't matter.
With a few caveats. First, I need to remember my own triggers and find ways to minimize or avoid them.
Second, I can do nothing without my religious practices and prayer. It might not be for everyone, but it is essential to my living.
Third, it does matter when I am interacting with others: I need to keep the situation safe physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually for myself and for others around me. And words matter.
Fourth, I must be judicious around employers. It is an opportunity for learning, but there is also a living at stake. There are some things an employer is supposed to do for you--reasonable accommodations. But there can be situations where accommodations can't easily be made, even now. And I think one of those might be attendance and being on time all the time. Sometimes absence is a need of a person with mental illness, and they can't be accommodated without it affecting a company's productivity. It's a fine line.
But when an employer is willing to work with you, it really helps in any situation.

Stigma, shame and discrimination are the hardest parts if living with mental illness to me.
In Australia most people with mental illnesses don't have a job, and stigma is a big factor in that. People are scared about what they do not understand. Most Disability Employment Services do not have staff trained in mental illness although 60% of their clients have mental illness. In these I experienced more stigma and discrimination then ever before.
Another great child of stigma and discrimination is the soft bigotry of low expectations.

Hey Mike, really enjoyed your article. I hide my mental illness at work and find it exhausting. I know I am perpetuating the very stigma that I am constantly running from. I manage up to 30 people and showing weakness or vulnerability just isn't an option for me, yet it makes me so angry that people would judge the "real me" as unstable, would second guess and disrespect my decisions if they knew. The exact thing I am afraid of is what you experienced. Kudos to you. All the best :)

You are definitely not alone in this. It's really hard to be open and honest about our mental illnesses when we know there are still a lot of people out there who will hold it against us. I think it's totally normal to want to avoid that if possible. But by continuing to write about it, you're doing a brave thing that will help to eventually change things. Hopefully someday we won't have to feel like hiding anymore. :)

Great article! Thanks for your insight :)

This is so appalling that it is disgusting and more: disheartening. Why have we progressed so little? Such hurtful words. Where is this person's shame of him/her self? Where is their compassion? Where did their education fail them? I had to write to let you know you aren't alone.