Treatments I've endured for Major Depression thru my life
I was diagnosed with Major clinical depression in 1979. Two weeks after I graduated High School in 1980, I was hospitalized the first time for my illness. Since that time I have been repeatedly hospitalized for depression and suicide attempts. I was also hospitalized many times for anorexia that began around 1983 when I attempted to attend college. I know that I had severe depression and anxiety as a child, but in the 1970's, no one "thought" that a child or youth could have Clinical depression. Since 1980, I have attempted suicide more than 20 times unsuccessfully but came closest in 1997. I have had 43 EC Treatments spanning 1987 through 1994. 12 EC Treatments were given inpatient in 1987 in a Psychiatric hospital. I did not feel any better after leaving the hospital and was forced to move back with my parents. My Psychologist was at his wits ends and found a Psychiatrist that was recommended highly in Nashville, TN. I and my Mom got up at 4AM to travel to Nashville, TN for my 7AM treatments there. Treatments began in Nashville in 1991 and ceased in 1994 at a total of 31 only because of a head on collision into a utility pole that broke my right femur and right hand. I continued after the wreck to battle extreme agoraphobia and consuming depression. I was in the depths of despair really until I was SAVED by the LORD Jesus Christ in 1997. ECT eventually did help me overcome 10 years of anorexia (my lowest weight was 87 pounds and I am 5'9" tall). It helped me become responsive to Zoloft and then to psychotherapy. I had spent 18 years of my life being "subject to" every medication that was available from 1980 to 1995 before ECT helped me at last respond to Zoloft. I honestly felt like a human guinea pig. The medications were horrible with side effects and the hospitalizations were more incapacitating than helpful due to my Separation anxiety and issues with my parents as I am an only child. I give GOD the true glory for my being rescued from the depths of hell to which I was unrelentingly subjected. After 1997 and one last ditch suicide attempt I emerged from an existence in complete darkness. I made a "bargain" with God after that last suicide attempt, that if HE would save me from depression that I would let HIM run my life and give it to HIM completely. Since the spring of 1997 I have felt happiness and joy for the first times ever in my life. I am now 47 years old, on disability since 1987, but am freed from the Depression beast that held me fast in its grip for most of my childhood, adolescence and well into my adult years. I have not had a relationship with a guy. That is on the threshold at this time. I have found that my experiences have made me "valuable" to others who have traveled in my moccasins of depression. I have found that I am now an encourager of people. The darkness through which I lived has given me a new appreciation of this life, what we can share and give to others, and of the life to come. I almost feel at times that God blessed me by keeping me alive through my long journey or the Dark Torturer, that refused for so long to let go of my heart, soul and life as a human being. I am amazed to be alive at 47 years of age. I am even more amazed that the prospect of a loving relationship with someone exists at this time. ECT was what changed the chemicals in my brain that were A.W.O.L. However, it was the loving, healing Grace of God that truly freed me from the HELL called Depression.
APA Reference
(2010, February 23). Treatments I've endured for Major Depression thru my life, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/support-blogs/myblog/Treatments-I%27ve-endured-for-Major-Depression-thru-my-life
Last Updated: January 14, 2014