I once read a book by a homeless man, and he talked about the first thing his guru said to him: "Everything that happens to you is for your own good." As a rape survivor, I argue with this, but it stood out to me. My version would be "Everything that happens to you is to teach you something." I recently learned a major fact about my BPD diagnosis from a woman at the bus stop.

Recently my benefits got cut and it's going to take at least another month to get it straightened out. To cope with the sudden reduction on the cash scene, I've been looking for a job with limited success. I've applied at two restaurants and been told to leave my name and number, which is the equivalent of the kiss of death. Fortunately, I have a lead on a job at an ice cream shop and it looks like I'll land the interview. Which leads me to one question--how open should I be about my borderline personality disorder diagnosis?

Sometimes an emotional crisis can't be avoided. When an emotional crisis happens, it is important to know how to calm down. There are many ways to self-soothe, but for now I'll focus on three: petting an animal, burning incense, and drinking herbal tea.

In addition to borderline personality disorder (BPD), I experience flashbacks and intrusive memories--symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Both disorders manifested around the same time, which has caused several mental health professionals to speculate that my BPD is a type of PTSD (Subtypes of Borderline Personality Disorder). Symptoms I experience include flashbacks and intrusive memories, which manifested when I was a freshman in college.

If there's one thing true about psychiatric hospitals, it's that you have a lot of down time. When I was in the state hospital system, I used this time to play Animal Crossing: Wild World on my Nintendo DS. Believe it or not, the game was a helpful therapy. Animal Crossing: Wild World, or AC: WW for short is a video game in which you live in a rural village with a bunch of anthropomorphic animals. You go around doing tasks for these animals, making money, making friends and other various life adventures. This game taught me three skills: how to read the emotions of other people, how to set boundaries, and how to handle rejection.

Self-injury is one of the major symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It is so characteristic of the disorder that some mental health professionals will diagnose a patient of having BPD even if no other symptoms are present. But many people are still in the dark about self-injury: why people self-injure, what self-injury accomplishes, and how to approach someone who self-injures.

I am an Amy Grant fan, and one of my favorite songs is her version of "Grown-Up Christmas List". If you haven't heard the song, click here. It's okay. I'll wait. The song makes you think. I, too, have a "Grown-Up Christmas List", with some of it concerning the mental health system.

Recently, I read Harper's Index, and found some disturbing facts. For example, the Department of Defense health care spending is projected to increase by 81 percent over the next two decades. The estimated percentage of its current mental health care budged is 5 percent. Considering that the chance a service member's death is a suicide is 1 in 5 percent, this is inexcusable. Other facts: one-third of service members are under age 25, but they account for one-half of all military suicides. So how do we prevent these unnecessary deaths?

Good news. I heard from the therapist who treated me in college, Dr. Cynthia Wall. I told her I was ambivalent about paying $115 for treatment I wasn't sure I needed. She wrote "I imagine you know what my bias is, but I will say it anyway. No money is wasted on treatment, particularly that related to an addiction. You are worth it!!!" I also found that I can get the money together given a little time. So now that the money issue is dealt with, I have one more hurdle to clear: psychiatric clearance. Basically, how will borderline personality disorder (BPD) impact my treatment?

Today is my birthday, and it's left me in a somewhat reflective mood. For someone as young as I am, I've accomplished a lot. I've published a book about military desertion for reasons of conscience. I've won three awards for my writing. It's not bad for someone who hasn't yet hit 35. But I have borderline personality disorder (BPD), and a Demanding Parent mode that says "not good enough".