Advice on how to deal with sex and sexual relationships - including consent to sex, sexual orientation and safe sex.

Sexuality encompasses:

• the person you feel you are
• your body
• how you feel as a man or woman
• the way you dress, move, and speak
• the way you act
• how you feel about other people

These are all parts of how you are as a person. Everyone has his or her own way of being or feeling sexual. Choosing to wait until you feel ready to be in a sexual relationship is fine. In fact, you can choose to be sexually abstinent at different times in your life.

10 Rules of Sexual Etiquette

• Communicate clearly. Saying "yes" or "no" may be difficult, but it is important. Remember, saying "no" does not mean that you never will want to have sex with this person and saying "yes" doesn't mean you can't change your mind.
• Monitor your own and your partner's alcohol and drug intake. Remember that it is considered rape to have sexual intercourse with someone who is passed out, too drunk or too high to refuse.
• Communicate openly. If you are uncertain about what you want, stop and talk about it. It is okay to be unsure, perhaps that means you want to wait.
• Respect sexual privacy.
• Be considerate of others.
• In sexual situations, always be thinking ahead.
• Be prepared.
• Share responsibility in a sexual relationship.
• Don't sexually harass other individuals.
• Be sure sexual activity is consensual.

What Is Consent?

• Consent is freely given agreement to sexual activity. You have a right to stop sexual contact at ANY point.
• Silence, previous sexual relations, or agreement given under the influence of alcohol or other drugs is NOT considered consent. If you have not consented to sexual intercourse, it is rape.

What About Sexual Orientation?

• Your sexual orientation-or who you are attracted to-is not a choice you make. You may be bisexual, and attracted to people of both genders. You may be heterosexual, and attracted to people of the other gender.
• You may be homosexual (often called lesbian or gay), and attracted to people of the same gender. It can be difficult and confusing to face issues regarding your own sexuality or that of your roommates, friends, lovers, or family members. These issues may be arising for you for the first time at college.
• If you are struggling with questions about sexual orientation, be sure to talk with a trusted friend and/or counselor. Or check out the University publication, A Community of Equals for information on resources for issues of sexual orientation at Harvard College and the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.

What is Safer Sex?

• Condoms are the best form of protection for sex acts involving penetration. When used properly, condoms keep partners from exchanging body fluids, often preventing spread of infection and pregnancy.
• Condoms make sex safer, not completely safe. Safer sex really means finding new ways to pleasure your partner.
• Sex doesn't always have to involve penetration. Visit the AIDS Education and Outreach web site for more information.

If you suspect your child may have bipolar disorder, you’ll want a quiz to determine, “Is my child bipolar?” Determining whether you child has bipolar disorder or another mental illness always needs to be done by a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, but a childhood bipolar questionnaire can point you in the direction of seeking a formal diagnosis or not.

The Child Bipolar Questionnaire Instructions

According to the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation, the following are the instructions for the Child Bipolar Questionnaire – Version 2:

“My child has and/or had the following symptoms and/or behaviors. You may have noticed a behavior from as far back as early childhood or you may have observed it more recently. In either case, estimate how frequently the behavior has occurred since you first noticed it. In other words, please rate the symptoms and/or behaviors as they were at their most severe and/or prior to your child starting medication.

Then select a number in the “Frequency” column using the following key:

• Never or hardly ever – 1
• Sometimes – 2
• Often – 3
• Very often or almost constantly – 4”

Download the test: http://www.psbmed.com/pdf/teenChildBipolarQuestionnaireForm.pdf

Sample “Is My Child Bipolar?” Quiz Questions

Sample questions on this bipolar quiz for children includes: [My child:]

• has difficulty rising in the AM
• displays excessive distress when separated from the family
• exhibits excessive anxiety or worry

The bipolar child questionnaire has 65 questions in all.

Scoring the Bipolar Child Questionnaire

The Bipolar Child Questionnaire can be scored in a number of ways – only a professional trained in this test can give you a full picture.

That said, the easiest way to score the Bipolar Child Questionnaire is the following:

• Add up all the items on the test rated a “3” or “4.”
• The higher the total score, the more likely the presence of bipolar disorder and the greater the severity of the illness.

Note that this test may also be useful in the screening for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children as well.

According to the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation:

“The Child Bipolar Questionnaire cannot make a definitive diagnosis, which requires a careful diagnostic evaluation by a physician, nurse practitioner, or other qualified clinicians. Only an experienced diagnostician with a full understanding of the family history, as well as the symptoms and behaviors that the child exhibits, is qualified to make a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. The Child Bipolar Questionnaire may serve as an integral part of such an evaluation.”

The best thing you can do if you suspect your child has bipolar disorder is to print out the full Child Bipolar Questionnaire and bring it to a qualified professional such as a psychiatrist.

Bipolar disorder symptoms can make a person feel out of control, but you can learn how to control bipolar symptoms, at least to some degree. Controlling bipolar symptoms is important because when you control these symptoms, you will feel more in control of your whole life.

How to Control Bipolar Depression Symptoms

Of course, the most research-supported way of controlling bipolar depression symptoms is to use conventional means including medication and psychotherapy. Severe depression should never be handled on your own. Severe depression can be an emergency and should always be treated by a doctor.

In other cases, though, while both medication and different types of psychotherapy are very useful in bipolar disorder treatment, there are additional things you can do to help control your bipolar disorder depression symptoms.

Options you can use include exercise, light manipulation and omega-3 fatty acid supplements (Natural Bipolar Treatments: Treatment of Bipolar Without Medication).

Exercise has recently become noted as an effective antidepressant. In fact, some studies suggest it is as effective as some traditional antidepressants. Additionally, while depression is known to cause brain shrinkage, exercise may reverse these effects. In short, while exercise can be very difficult for those experiencing bipolar depression, it can also be very useful.

Light therapy comes in three versions: dawn simulation, dark therapy, and chronotherapy. The specifics of each therapy is beyond the scope of this article but can be found here:

• Dark therapy
• Dawn simulation
• Chronotherapy

Omega-3 fatty acid supplements can also help control bipolar disorder depression (Natural Herbs, Supplements for Bipolar Disorder). Note that omega-3 fatty acids will not help with bipolar mania or hypomania.

As with all antidepressant treatments, there is the risk of induction of mania, hypomania or rapid cycling. This is something always to watch out for and, particularly with light therapy, is the reason you should always check with your doctor before starting any treatment.

How to Control Bipolar Hypomania, Mania Symptoms

Full-blown mania is typically considered a psychiatric emergency so controlling bipolar mania on your own is not a good idea. To control bipolar mania, you will likely need a mood stabilizing medication long-term and possibly another medication short-term to treat the acute mania.

Bipolar mania is typically controlled by the following medications which are Food and Drug Administration approved for this indication:

• Valproate (Depakote)
• Carbamazepine extended release (Equetro)
• Lithium
• Aripiprazole (Abilify)
• Ziprasidone (Geodon)
• Risperidone (Risperdal)
• Asenapine (Saphris)
• Quetiapine (Seroquel)
• Chlorpromazine (Thorazine)
• Cariprazine (Vraylar)
• Olanzapine (Zyprexa)

Controlling bipolar mania or hypomania symptoms can also be done with psychotherapy. Types of psychotherapy that have evidence to help those with bipolar disorder are:

• Prodrome detection therapy – This therapy teaches you how to recognize a mood before it becomes a crisis. It focuses on an individual’s early mood episode symptoms.
• Psychoeducation – This therapy focuses on teaching you more about bipolar disorder and mental illness.
• Cognitive therapy – This therapy focuses on various aspects of healing stress and lifestyle management and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), among other things.
• Interpersonal/social rhythm therapy – This therapy focuses on relationships and life routines.
• Family-focused therapy – This therapy focuses on some of the above types of psychotherapy but for both the individual with bipolar and his or her family.

For more on bipolar therapy types, see Types of Bipolar Disorder Therapy and How Bipolar Therapy Helps.

Bipolar symptoms in a child can be extremely severe and can be life-altering or life-threatening. It’s critical to treat any presented bipolar symptoms in children in order to positively alter the overall course of the illness. Bipolar disorder in a child left untreated, is a recipe for disaster.

Childhood Bipolar Symptoms in the DSM

Due to lack of sufficient study and understanding, childhood bipolar disorder does not have a unique set of symptoms when compared to adult or adolescent bipolar disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), which defines all mental illnesses.

This means that for a diagnosis of bipolar disorder type I, a child must experience a full manic episode plus a major depressive episode and for a diagnosis of bipolar disorder type II, a child must experience a hypomanic episode and a major depressive episode.

According to Medscape and the DSM-5, the criteria for a manic episode is as follows:

First, the individual has a distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood lasting at least one week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).

Second, during the period of mood disturbance, three or more of the following symptoms persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:

• Inflated self-esteem to levels of grandiosity
• Decreased need for sleep
• More talkativeness than usual, often characterized by pressured speech with a sense of a need to keep talking
• Flight of ideas or a subjective feeling that thoughts are racing
• Distractibility
• Increased goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation
• Excessive involvement in pleasurable activity that has a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., hypersexuality, excessive spending, impetuous traveling)

Third, the symptoms do not meet the criteria for a mixed episode.

Fourth, the mood disturbance is severe enough to cause marked social impairment in occupational functioning, social activities, or relationships with others. Hospitalization may be necessary to prevent harm to self or others or if psychotic features are present.

Fifth, the symptoms are not due to the direct physiologic effects of a substance or a general medical condition.

Hypomania has the same symptoms as mania; however, it is an elevated mood in which:

• No hospitalization has ever been necessary
• No state of delusional or other psychotic thinking ever coincided with the elevated mood

According to Medscape and the DSM-5, the criteria for a major depressive disorder is the following:

Major depressive episodes are characterized as, for the same two weeks, the person experiences five or more of the following symptoms, with at least one of the symptoms being either a depressed mood or characterized by a loss of pleasure or interest:

• Depressed mood
• Markedly diminished pleasure or interest in nearly all activities
• Significant weight loss or gain or significant loss or increase in appetite
• Hypersomnia or insomnia
• Psychomotor retardation or agitation
• Loss of energy or fatigue
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
• Decreased concentration ability or marked indecisiveness
• Preoccupation with death or suicide; the patient has a plan or has attempted suicide

Symptoms cause significant impairment and distress and are not the result of substance abuse or a medical condition.

Known Differences in Bipolar Symptoms in a Child

Child bipolar disorder symptoms are harder to detect than those in adults as they may not be as clear-cut, may appear somewhat differently or may be attributed to other disorders.

For example, symptoms of bipolar disorder in children can include:

• Irritability
• Tantrums
• Physical aggression
• Other behavioral problems (such as expressions of mood disruptions)

Most children diagnosed with bipolar disorder are diagnosed with unspecified bipolar and other related disorders (previously known as bipolar not otherwise specified) rather than bipolar disorder type I or type II as they don’t match those criteria exactly.

Children with chronically irritable moods and aggression (rather than mood vacillation) can be diagnosed with disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD).

Some people suggest there is a natural diet treatment for bipolar disorder, but does this really exist? The evidence is scant, but here’s what we know about bipolar and diet.

The Natural Diet of a Person with Bipolar Disorder

While everyone is different, research suggests that those with bipolar disorder eat a less-healthy diet when compared to others. It’s not known why this is, but it’s possible that people with bipolar disorder use unhealthy foods to soothe themselves when a mood episode hits.

This has real implications for those with bipolar disorder as comorbid (co-occurring) physical disorders such as metabolic syndrome and obesity are common. Unhealthy bipolar eating habits may also affect the following biological processes that also can be dysregulated in bipolar disorder:

• Monoaminergic activity (neuron activity that secretes norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin
• Immune/inflammatory processes
• Oxidative stress (imbalance between free radicals and the body's ability to counteract free radicals' harmful effects )
• Mitochondrial activity (mitochondria are involved in metabolism and cell growth and differentiation regulation, among other activities)
• Neuroprogression (neurodevelopmental and neurodegenerative processes)

Carbohydrates, Sugar and Bipolar

While some would say that cutting down on sugar or going low-carb should help the mood of a person with bipolar disorder, there is no evidence that this is the case.

That said, some cases suggest that reducing carbohydrates and sugar in the diet of a person with bipolar could be helpful for some, especially those that are overweight.

On the other hand, there are reports of fatigue and a more negative mood in those deliberately going without carbohydrates. Moreover, there is now a case report of a case of psychosis associated with the Atkins diet (a carbohydrate-free diet).

The conclusion of bipolar expert, Jim Phelps MD, is the following:

“. . . these bits of evidence support the idea that in people who already have metabolic syndrome (e.g. very overweight, pre-diabetic), a dietary approach could have a positive impact on mood symptom control; but a rigorous Atkins approach with very little or no carbohydrate could have some opposite effects in the short run.”

A Diet that Treats Bipolar

Research is mixed, but it is thought that an overall, healthier diet heavy in fish and vegetables can positively impact mood and improve mood stability. However, this may only be the case for some with bipolar disorder. For example, one study only found an association between bipolar depression symptoms (and not other bipolar symptoms) and diet in men.

Regardless, a healthy diet will always have benefits for anyone, including those with bipolar disorder.

While most stick with conventional, medical treatment for bipolar disorder, others look for natural herbs and supplements for bipolar disorder. While some supplements have shown promise in bipolar treatment when taken alongside pharmacological treatments, no natural herbs for bipolar disorder have been found. That said, herbs for some bipolar disorder symptoms may also show promise.

Natural Supplements for Bipolar Disorder

There are two supplements that have shown usefulness in treating bipolar disorder – specifically in dealing with bipolar depression.

• Omega-3 fatty acids – The research on this natural supplement for bipolar disorder is “clear” according to Jim Phelps, MD: “This stuff works. Not very powerfully, and it takes a while to get in there.” Omega-3 fatty acids need to be taken in supplement form in order to obtain a therapeutic dosage to help with bipolar depression. Also, you need a highly concentrated version so you can get to 1,000 mg of eicosapentaenoic (EPA) in two or three pills per day and the pills need to contain at least 60% EPA. Note the only studies that support their use add this supplement to traditional treatment; there is no evidence that omega-3 fatty acids are effective when used alone.
• N-acetylcysteine (NAC) – This is, essentially, an amino acid. The research best supports the use of NAC for bipolar depression in addition to traditional treatment and not for use alone. NAC may also work to treat those with obsessive behaviors.

Both of these are available over the counter and there is a pharmaceutical version of an omega-3 fatty acid as well. Note that you should always check with your doctor before starting a natural supplement for bipolar disorder.

Natural Herbs for Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

As stated above, no studied herbs have shown promise in the treatment of bipolar disorder. However, some herbs have been found to treat the symptoms of anxiety and depression. These herbs may be “natural” but they may also interact with bipolar medications or even make some bipolar symptoms worse for some people so it’s critical to check with a doctor before use.

Natural herbs for the bipolar symptom of depression:

• St. John’s wort – This has been studied extensively for mild-to-moderate depression and shows effectiveness like traditional antidepressants. It can take four to six weeks for it to work and it interacts with many medications including birth control pills. St. John’s wort should not be used to treat severe depression (St. John's Wort and the Treatment of Depression).
• Ginkgo – Preliminary research suggests this may treat depression but possibly only in older adults. Ginkgo can increase the risk of bleeding, especially if taking blood thinners.

Note that anything that acts as an antidepressant such as the herbs above, runs the risk of inducing mania, hypomania or rapid cycling for those with bipolar disorder.

Natural herbs for anxiety:

• Valerian – This is often used to treat insomnia but sometimes is used to treat anxiety as well although research on its use is mixed. Valerian may be combined with lemon balm or St. John’s wort to treat mild-to-moderate anxiety. Valerian may interact with other drugs that cause a sedating effect such as benzodiazepines, antihistamines and others.
• Passionflower – A few studies have shown passionflower to have antianxiety effects but more research is needed. As with valerian, this herb can interact with other substances that have a sedating effect.

According to the University of Maryland Medical Center, other herbs that are sometimes recommended for anxiety include ginger, chamomile and licorice. The risks include the following:

“Ginger can increase the risk of bleeding, especially if you also take blood-thinners, such as clopidogrel (Plavix), warfarin (Coumadin), or aspirin. Ginger may also interact with some drugs used to treat high blood pressure. Avoid licorice if you have heart failure, heart disease, kidney or liver disease, or high blood pressure. DO NOT take licorice if you take a diuretic (water pills), anticoagulant (blood thinner), or antidepressant such as Prozac. Chamomile may interact with a number of medications, including blood thinners. People who have or are at risk for hormone-sensitive cancers such as breast, uterine, ovarian, or prostate cancer should avoid taking chamomile. Some people may be allergic to chamomile.”

Additionally, while kava kava has been sometimes suggested for mild-to-moderate anxiety, the Food and Drug Administration has issued a warning concerning dangerous effects on the liver in rare cases.

For more on alternative treatments for bipolar disorder see Can You Manage Bipolar Disorder Without Medication?

Many people want to know if there’s a cure for bipolar depression and, more specifically, if there is a natural cure for bipolar disorder. This is understandable as those with bipolar disorder can suffer a lot and some modern medicines can have arduous side effects (Antipsychotic Medication Side-effects). A lot of the answer to these questions, though, depends on how you define “natural” and “cure.”

What Is a ‘Natural Cure’ for Bipolar Disorder?

According to Dictionary.com, “cure” is defined as: “a method or course of remedial treatment, as for disease.”

In other words, if a treatment makes you healthy again, it is a “cure.” In that way, some people are “cured” of bipolar disorder.

When looking at “natural” cures, it’s important to know that “natural” is defined as “existing or formed by nature.” Thus, a “natural cure” is a bipolar treatment that was formed by nature.

A Natural Cure for Bipolar Disorder – Does It Exist?

The closest thing to a natural cure for bipolar disorder is the drug lithium. While some might argue it isn’t “natural,” this isn’t true. Lithium is a salt that was found in the ground many decades ago. While the version that a person with bipolar takes may be purified in a lab, it is still “natural” in that it is formed by nature.

The version of lithium used in the treatment of bipolar disorder is lithium carbonate while lithium citrate is also used in pharmacological treatments. Lithium, itself, is extracted from primarily two sources: pegmatite crystals and lithium salt from brine pools. Lithium carbonate is then generated by combining lithium peroxide with carbon dioxide.

While some people with bipolar disorder do find lithium to be extremely useful in treatment, many people do not. In other words, lithium is not a sure-fire cure, but rather one option for treatment.

What About Lithium Orotate as a Natural Cure for Bipolar Disorder?

Lithium orotate is something some people take instead of prescription lithium carbonate. It is available over the counter and is very low-dose lithium. That said, no study has shown that it has any effect on bipolar disorder. (Lithium orotate, however, has shown some preliminary promise in the prevention of Alzheimer’s disease.)

It’s important to note that any version of lithium can damage kidneys and whether lithium orotate is more or less dangerous is a complete unknown as it hasn’t been studied. This means that even if one chooses to take the over-the-counter supplement, one must get his or her kidneys checked by a doctor to ensure no damage occurs and treatment with this supplement should be overseen by a doctor in its entirety.

Other Natural Cures for Bipolar Disorder

Unfortunately, anything else naturally occurring has only been studied when used in conjunction with traditional treatment. It is highly unlikely that any of these options would be a “cure” but rather a useful add-on to conventional bipolar treatment.

For more on these types of natural options, see:

• Can You Manage Bipolar Disorder Without Medication? 
• Bipolar Depression and Light Therapy: Does It Really Work?
• What Natural Treatments Help Bipolar Depression?

Natural bipolar medications do exist but some don’t work for most people with bipolar disorder and they may not be as effective as prescription bipolar medications.

People often have trouble with pharmacological options for the treatment of bipolar disorder. This trouble might include a lack of efficacy or burdensome side effects of bipolar medications. There is both good and bad news when considering the existence of natural bipolar medications.

A Natural Bipolar Medication that Works

Medicine has known for decades that lithium – a naturally derived salt – effectively acts as a bipolar medication. While some complain about lithium due to its side effects, which are real and can be bothersome, lithium is still one of the most effective bipolar medications.

According to Jim Phelps MD,

“Lithium is still the best researched medication for this condition; no other medication has been shown to be superior in controlling depression, suicidal thoughts, or long-term mood stability. It also has been shown to decrease anger and sudden impulse decisions in people who do not have bipolar disorder.”

For more on the use of lithium, see Is There a Natural Cure for Bipolar Disorder?

Other Natural Bipolar Medications

There are some other substances like omega-3 fatty acids and n-acetylcysteine (NAC) that have been tested and are useful natural, bipolar treatments. However, these treatments have only been tested alongside traditional bipolar medications (meaning test subjects are taking bipolar medications and these natural bipolar treatments at the same time).

For more, see Can You Manage Bipolar Disorder Without Medication?

Adjustment disorder is a condition that negatively impacts someone’s mental health and wellbeing. This relatively common mental disorder develops in response to stressors; when events or life crises exceed someone’s ability to effectively cope, an adjustment disorder may occur. Just what is an adjustment disorder?

Definition of Adjustment Disorder

An adjustment disorder is defined by two important concepts:

1. the presence of an identifiable stressor and emotional or behavioral symptoms that occur in response to the stressor (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
2. Further, the reaction to the stressor exceeds an expected stress response.

Everyone faces stress and can experience negative reactions, but when someone struggles to adjust to and cope with the stressor, an adjustment disorder may be diagnosed. Adjustment disorders often develop when stressors exceed the resources someone has to deal with them.

Adjustment disorders are typically time-limited. When the stressor is removed or the person has adjusted to it, the diagnosis no longer applies. If this occurs within six months of the onset of the stressor, the adjustment disorder is considered acute. Sometimes, if a stressor is ongoing, an adjustment disorder can last beyond six months. When this happens, it becomes chronic adjustment disorder.

Types of Adjustment Disorders

All adjustment disorders are precipitated by stressors. One or more events occur to derail someone, decrease his/her mental health and wellbeing, and disrupt his/her life. How each person responds to the stress determines how his/her adjustment disorder is categorized.

Adjustment disorders are organized into subtypes according to specific symptoms. The categories include adjustment disorder with

• Adjustment disorder with depressed mood
• Adjustment disorder with Anxiety
• Adjustment disorder with mixed depressed mood and anxiety
• Adjustment disorder with disturbance of conduct

Occasionally, when someone’s symptoms don’t fall into one specific category, the adjustment disorder is considered unspecified.

Types of Stressors That Lead to an Adjustment Disorder

Many different types of stressors can cause adjustment disorders. Among them are:

• External events such as relationship difficulties, financial problems
• Life transitions such as marriage, parenthood, relocating
• Developmental transitions such as going to school, leaving home, retirement
• Situational crises such as the death of a loved one, losing a job, serious physical illness
• Microstresses, little daily stressors that accumulate over time

By themselves, any of these stressors do not lead to an adjustment disorder. Adjustment disorder comes from someone’s reaction to the stress rather than to the stress itself.

Risk Factors for Adjustment Disorders

Stress is an unavoidable part of the human condition, and everyone responds negatively to stressors from time-to-time. Certain factors make some people more susceptible to adjustment disorders.

When a stressor triggers an area in which someone is vulnerable or sensitive, he/she may be more at risk of an adjustment disorder. If someone already lives with a mental illness or personality disorder, he/she may be more likely to develop an adjustment disorder.

Further, because of the chronic nature of these stressors, the following circumstances are risk factors for adjustment disorders:

• Poverty
• Limited support systems
• Childhood trauma, abuse, family disruptions/conflict
• Life-threatening illness
• Substance use/abuse
• Multiple unresolved stressors

Impact of Adjustment Disorder

Adjustment disorders are found in all cultures and in all age groups. It’s estimated that they affect 5-20 percent of people in outpatient treatment and up to 50 percent of people in hospital settings (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

Most adjustment disorders are temporary and situational; however, they can cause extreme distress and sometimes lead to suicidal ideation and behavior. They can negatively impact all aspects of someone’s life: work, social life, home and family life, and more. Therefore, they must be taken seriously and properly treated. With treatment, adjustment disorders diminish and people can regain positive mental health.

article references

Sexual assertiveness is part of preventing date rape. Take our sexual assertiveness quiz, then learn some techniques to prevent date rape.

The following is a questionnaire on sexual assertiveness as well as tips for preventing date rape. Respond to the questionnaire and then study your answers. Does anything stand out for you? Just how clear are you about what your rights are?

After this questionnaire, there are some suggestions about Date Rape prevention.

People have the right to:

1. Make their own decisions regarding intercourse or other sexual activity regardless of their partner's wishes.
Never Sometimes Always

2. Use or not use birth control regardless of their partner's wishes.
Never Sometimes Always

3. Tell their partner when they want to make love.
Never Sometimes Always

4. Tell their partner they don't want to make love.
Never Sometimes Always

5. Tell their partner they won't have intercourse without birth control.
Never Sometimes Always

6. Tell their partner they want to make love differently.
Never Sometimes Always

7. Masturbate to orgasm.
Never Sometimes Always

8. Tell their partner they are being too rough.
Never Sometimes Always

9. Tell their partner they want to be hugged or cuddled without sex.
Never Sometimes Always

10. Tell their relative they're uncomfortable being hugged or kissed in certain ways.
Never Sometimes Always

11. Ask their partner if they have been examined for S.T.D.'s.
Never Sometimes Always

12. Stop foreplay at any time, including the point of intercourse.
Never Sometimes Always

13. Refuse to have intercourse even though they may have had sex with their partner before and enjoyed it.
Never Sometimes Always

Date Rape Prevention

Date or acquaintance rape means being forced or pressured into having sex by someone you know--against your will, without your consent.

• Know that it could happen to you.
• Be assertive in setting boundaries for relationships. Even casual unwanted contact should be firmly discouraged. It is easier to fight off a big attack if you've practiced on smaller intrusions.
• Judge a person by his or her behavior, not race, looks, socioeconomic status, or even relationship to you. Watch out for someone who:
  • gets hostile when you say "no"
  • ignores your wishes, opinions, ideas
  • attempts to make you feel guilty or accuse you of being uptight if you say "no" to sex
  • acts excessively jealous or possessive; keeps tabs on your whereabouts
  • displays destructive anger and aggression

• Define your limits, i.e., how much touch you want with different friends (handshake, kiss on cheek, kiss on mouth, hug with both arms, intercourse, no touch). Think about this in advance, even though you can change your mind later.
• Defend your limits: "I don't like it when you do that"; "I like you and I don't want to go to bed with you"; "Let's go to the coffeehouse (instead of to your room)." You have the right to be respected, to change your mind, to say "no" or just say, "Because I don't want to." Practice saying "no" clearly --don't hint, don't expect anyone to read your mind.
• Be prepared for the person's reaction to your defending your limits. Possible reactions include hostility, embarrassment, blaming you for leading him or her on. You are not responsible for the other person's behavior or reaction; if s/he is someone you care about, you may wish to help him or her through the embarrassment, but you do not need to feel responsible. You have every right to your own decisions.
• Most date rapes involve men and women who conform to traditional, rigid sex roles so it is important to examine sexism in order to prevent rape. Avoid stereotypes such as "anger is unfeminine" or "real men have sex" that prevent you from expressing your real feelings.
• Communicate clearly! Say "no" when you mean no; "yes" when you mean yes; stay in touch with your feelings to know the difference.
• Believe and act as if you come first, without exploiting others. Treat yourself and others with respect.