It being the end of the year, everyone makes New Year's resolutions. Typically, people want to lose weight or make more money. Maybe they hope to change their lifestyle or start a family. These are resolutions that are heard over-and-over again and sadly, after January, a lot of these New Year's resolutions are pushed aside. You know, as well as I do, that if you’re someone trying to stop your self-harm, your resolution will probably be to stop hurting yourself for good in 2014. But will you be able to do it?

Take a minute to put down the ‘Last Minute Shopping List’ and close your eyes. Try to push away the crazed voices of those around you who are probably just as busy and annoyed as you are during this time of year. Picture a moment from your past – a positive moment. Maybe this moment has a warm fireplace or a big tree or holiday music. Maybe you’re picturing a snowball fight or a night snuggled up with friends drinking hot chocolate. Feeling a little bit more relaxed? You allowed yourself to escape the stressors and believe in the good of this time of year.

It’s cold. There’s snow. Ice is covering the roads. Heat is on full blast. For those living in the snowy states, this is what you see everyday. Lately, when I wake up and look out my window, I ask myself, “Why didn’t I wake up an hour earlier to brush off my car?” Usually, because the roads aren’t plowed to perfection, my coffee gets cold by the time I get to work. These are stressors that some people experience on a daily basis in the winter. Without the correct coping skills, self-harmers may see these obstacles as reasons to hurt themselves.

This past year, I’ve spoken to numerous Syracuse high schools about my novel, Noon, and the self-injury topics discussed in the book. Like I’ve said in my past blogs, one character struggles with self-harm and suicide. A lot of my past experiences go into her scenes and, sometimes, I feel bad that I threw all of my baggage into that character’s life. However, it does work as quite the positive self-injury coping skill. Recently, I spoke to a high school about the book and realized, again, how useful it is to talk about the struggles you’ve gone through. It allows you to really open up and show your braver side. This blog was a huge step forward in my opening up about self-harm. When you have the confidence to talk about your past, it shows how much you’ve grown.

Whether it be cutting, bruising, burning, head banging or picking, one thing is for sure – pain is involved. Gross or not, some self-harmers are interested in blood and tissues and use self-injury to redirect his or her focus. Some self-harmers like the feeling it gives them because it allows their internal pain to be released. Like I’ve stated in the past, self-harm redirected me to something else to worry about – the mark, the pain, covering the cut with bracelets or make-up. No matter what the reason is behind why those who self-harm do what they do, pain is a main focus.

Life is fragile. Embrace life. Life is worth living. You may have heard those statements more than a million times and even though they sound cliché, they are very true. Every moment, someone dies. I may not know the statistics, but people die at frightening rates. Whether it is from disease, old age, an accident or suicide, every life is worth cherishing.

Besides stuffing your face with mashed potatoes and turkey, Thanksgiving time can be difficult for many. For some, traveling causes anxiety and since Thanksgiving is the most traveled time of the year, emotions can be at an all time high. Sometimes being around family can be nerve-racking, especially if you don’t see them that often. Many self-harmers lack confidence and have body image insecurities. Therefore, being surrounded by food may also become stressful. With Thanksgiving being over, there can’t possibly be any more stressors to deal with, right? Wrong.

Bullying leads to self-injury much of the time, and unfortunately, bullying has no age limit. During my teenage years, bullying was something that happened everyday and was talked about quite a bit. Classes talked about it and some teachers made their students do projects on the topic. However, bullying doesn’t end in high school – it continues through college and you can face workplace bullies, too.  For me, bullying and self-injury go hand-in-hand.

For all of you radio-listeners out there, you have probably heard the song “Monsters” by Rihanna and Eminem being overplayed on the radio. For many people, the popularity of a song dissolves after hearing it numerous times a day for weeks on end. However, over the last week, I haven’t been able to get enough of the song. Why, you ask? The song’s lyrics seem to be directed towards those struggling with self-harm and mental illness.

I’ll admit it – I’m obsessed with ‘The Voice’ on NBC. I don’t know if it is my music-geek background or my love for talented singers, but I’m obsessed. I’ve been a devoted fan since the first season and now, I vote weekly and download songs like a maniac. This past week, unique coach, CeeLo Green, said something that really connected to mental illness and self-harm. Yes, CeeLo can be a little out there, but if you really listen to the advice he gives to the singers, it is quite intriguing. The statement he said this week that caught my attention was this: “Pain is the common denominator that connects most people.” Any self-harmer will agree that that statement is true.