Anxiety on the GO - Anxiety Hurts

The Pain of Living with Anxiety

Anxiety is truly physical. It truly hurts the entire body when our security feels threatened. Read more.Anxiety is truly physical. It truly "hurts" the entire body when our security feels threatened.

Case in Point: Last week, I was traveling from North Texas to Oklahoma City to catch a plane heading back home. The drive from the Texas town to Oklahoma City is about 150 miles.

Over the past few weeks, I've done this routine several times to visit an important client. As I left the North Texas town on Hwy. 44, I could see some very "dark sky" in the northern sky just ahead. This being August, I expected to confront a popup storm or two, but nothing serious or consistent. Wrong!

As I drove northbound, the sky became blue, then purple, then green, and then black. And then the heavens opened. Sky-to-ground lightning, heavy winds, and torrential rain came pouring down at a rate of 3 inches per hour. Visibility was reduced to one-car length. I could see only half of a white dotted line on the road. The only other cars on the highway were pulled over, and due to poor visibility, it was difficult not to avoid hitting them from behind.

My body was filled with "anxiety" from head to toe. I could feel "pain" and "pressure" and "sweat" in the forehead, in my arms, in my chest, and even into my legs.

It was very real. Anxiety really does "attack."

Positive self-talk works

I kept doing a lot of self-talking: "I will be fine, I will keep going slow, it cannot storm this hard, for this long, forever."

The rain kept pelting my car windows. The winds kept blowing my rental car around. It was difficult to see and difficult to steer. The rain wouldn't let up. If anything, it seemed to become more intense, harder, and less likely to let up.

"I will be safe. I will not die here. I will get there."

It went on like this for 70 miles without a single break in the intensity of the storm. It was too intense and too dangerous to get off at any exit. The exits were too invisible, too flooded, and too elusive.

"I will be fine. I can do it."

I had to keep going for two reasons: 1) I have to make the plane in Oklahoma City; 2) It would be even more dangerous to try to stop. Finally, as I approached Oklahoma City, the torrential rains softened to just a hard rain, and visibility was restored to about a quarter-mile.

Seemed like heaven! I made it! Safe and sound inside the Oklahoma City airport! Now I had only to think about the turbulent flight still ahead of me.

I learned two things:

  1. Anxiety really does hurt.
  2. The adversity made me even stronger, and now lesser situations seem exactly that: lesser!

My battle plan

I've been at war with anxiety disorder for several years. Right now, I might be winning. I will keep fighting the good fight and hope that I can keep it going. Right now my battle plan against anxiety is:

  1. Taking it on! I'm traveling, thinking positive, and gaining confidence with every trip - every week.
  2. Exercise.
  3. Prayer.
  4. Vitamins and light dosages of anti anxiety meds, as needed.
  5. Taking a free-ride approach from "worry" more than normal.
  6. Honest, open, two-way discussion with friends and working associates. Finding out SO MANY have anxiety problems of their own!
  7. Drinking lots of water! It really helps!

"Free ride approach" from worry

I'm also trying not to worry about all the usual things like bad weather for air travel and things I can't control. I've realized that the "worry" is usually much worse than the event. Overall, I've simply made a choice to try and live completely in the present moment, not to worry about the past or the future, only "right now."

It's difficult, but it seems to be working for me.

Keep Fighting the Good Fight,

David B.

next: My OCD Den Homepage
~ all articles on living with agoraphobia
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~ all anxiety disorders articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Anxiety on the GO - Anxiety Hurts, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/anxiety-hurts

Last Updated: July 2, 2016

Shocked! ECT Sitemap

Contents in Shocked! ECT Website:

next: Shocked! ECT Homepage
~ all articles on depression
~ depression community homepage

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Shocked! ECT Sitemap, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/uncategorised/shocked-ect-sitemap

Last Updated: January 16, 2012

ECT, The Thymatron and Dr. Richard Abrams

The following is an actual advertisement for the ThymatronTM, an ECT device from Somatics, Inc. The company is owned by Dr. Richard Abrams, author of Electroconvulsive Therapy, considered to be the definitive ECT text.

Is it a conflict of interest for one of the top "experts" on ECT to write the definitive text, setting standards of practice in ECT, while making money on the ECT machine that fits his perfect criteria? The publisher of his book, Oxford University Press, was shocked to hear that he owned Somatics. He says he didn't tell them because he didn't think of it. He says it's no big deal.

In the text of the ad below you will find links to additional information on that terminology. The information comes from the 1992 edition of Abrams' book.

The ThymatronTM : Description and Specifications

Is it a conflict of interest for one of the top experts on ECT to write the definitive text, setting standards of practice in ECT, while making money on the ECT machine that fits his perfect criteria?* A single dial sets the treatment stimulus: you can just set it to your patient's age to automatically deliver the recommended dose of electricity.

* A light-emitting impedance meter instantly tells you if the treatment electrodes are properly and safely applied at any time, even when the patient is awake.

* The patented Audible EEGTM monitors the seizure without the need for EEG expertise or paper. Demonstrated to be highly reliable and valid, the Audible EEGTM is built in to every ThymatronTM .

* You can treat as quickly as you need to with the ThymatronTM. There are never any annoying waits for warmup or stimulus override.

* An optional plug-in EEG recorder provides a permanent paper record of the seizure. This instrument can also record the EKG, with full limb and chest lead capability.

* A remote treatment foot switch is available to enable the single operator to administer unilateral ECT safely and conveniently.

* Readily portable, the ThymatronTM in its optional fitted case weighs only 15 lbs.

* The brief pulse square wave stimulus delivers all voltage over the seizure threshold, producing significantly less memory loss and EEG disturbance than the obsolete sine wave stimulus, without any loss of therapeutic benefit.

* Four seconds of pulsed stimulation can be given with the ThymatronTM, providing the extra energy required to treat the difficult cases.

* The ThymatronTM safeguards against accidental electrical discharge with a hinged flip-up cover over the treatment button, and audible and visible stumulus (sic) indicators.

* The Underwriters Laboratories listed construction protects against excessive electrical current, isolating the patient from the electrical line through relays, fuses and a power-limiting transformer.

* The pulsewidth is preset at 1 millisecond, the optimal for ECT.

* Stimulus settings are precision fine-tuned by equal click stop increments; the constant current ensures that each setting corresponds to a specific electrical charge.

* In an illustrated treatment manual, Drs. Richard Abrams and Conrad Swartz take you step by step through a fully documented description of how to give ECT with the Thymatron TM . A full discussion includes indications, precautions, contraindications, and the management of side-effects and complications.

* In an inservice demonstration color videotape, Dr. Richard Abrams illustrates exactly how to use the Thymatron TM and its accessories.

* An illustrated service manual is included which explicitly guides your maintenance department through all the recommended testing procedures.

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR A FREE LOAN OF DR. ABRAMS' DEMONSTRATION VIDEOTAPE, PHONE OR WRITE TO US

SOMATICS, INC.
910 Sherwood Drive Unit 18
Lake Bluff, IL 60044
Interstate toll-free 800-642-6761


THERE'S ONE Thymatron TM BECAUSE THERE'S ONE BEST WAY TO GIVE ECT

Note 1

Recommended dose of electricity...for ease of terminology, "juice" is used to mean the voltage and length of current duration.

Factors that are known to increase the seizure threshold (meaning you have to give more juice to induce a seizure):

  • unilateral
  • male gender
  • increased age
  • treatment later in course (with each subsequent treatment, you have to increase the juice)
  • high expected barbiturate anesthetic dosage
  • received long half-life benzodiazepine the previous day

So, based on this, you simply turn the dial up to increase the juice. Did you notice that the numbers listed on the dial range from 10 to 100? Does that mean that quite a lot of 10-year-olds and 100-year-olds are getting ECT?

Additionally, Abrams recommends a dose of 4 to 8 seconds. And his machine will do it!


Note 2

Impedance is basically the resistance the current encounters. It is mostly from the skull, which is a thick bone through which the current must pass.

Other factors that cause impedance are placing the electrodes too close together and skin that has not been properly prepared (oily, too many dead cells, etc.)


Note 3

This is a special feature. Abrams claims that EEG monitoring is very important, especially in unilateral ECT.

Abrams very subtly suggests things throughout his book that directly lead one into a special feature of his Thymatron TM. The Audible EEGTM is a case in point: (bold is my emphasis)

"Because the EEG directly measures the brain's electrical activity, it remains the standard against which other techniques must be measured. Two methods are presently incorporated in ECT instruments for amplifying and presenting unprocessed EEG activity during ECT. One uses a chart-drive and penwriter to record the EEG signal on paper; the resulting record is then read by the clinician as it is generated...The second method provides an auditory representation of the EEG signal in the form of a tone that fluctuates with the frequency of the seizure activity and becomes constant when the seizure ends. (This method) has been used successfully to detect prolonged seizures requiring termination with benzodiazepines."

Now, based on that reading, which machine would *you* rather have? The old fashioned one with a pen, and which requires someone to read it as it happens, or the new and improved Audible EEG TM which emits a tone?

The ThymatronTM of course.

The one thing that Abrams doesn't do, is to plug the ThymatronTM by name. He simply suggests throughout the book features that are available only with his machine. Since he doesn't own up to owning Somatics, it's a very clever way of boosting sales. Hey, didn't subliminal messages go out with the 60s?

Maybe not.

Buy Thymatron TM Buy ThymatronTM Buy ThymatronTM

And in case you'd rather have the old fashioned pen and paper EEG, he's got that too! And an added value...the EKG. (see next feature!)


Note 4

Is he suggesting housecalls? Drive-thru ECT? McECT? Every family should have one!


Note 5

What? I thought you guys keep saying there isn't any memory loss. And this is the new and improved ECT. Brief-pulse square wave current was developed in 1938, folks.

next: Editorial: My Criticism of the JAMA Article
~ all Shocked! ECT articles
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). ECT, The Thymatron and Dr. Richard Abrams, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/ect-the-thymatron-and-dr-richard-abrams

Last Updated: June 22, 2016

Marquis de Sade Awards

Three ECT doctors are receiving special awards in the Shocked! ECT Hall of Shame; the Marquis de Sade Award for sadism in psychiatry.

Three doctors are receiving special awards in the Shocked! ECT Hall of Shame,
the Marquis de Sade Award for sadism in psychiatry.

Congratulations to

Gary C. Aden, HC Tien, and D. Ewen Cameron!

The first two inductees were the original co-founders of the International Psychiatric Association for the Advancement of Electrotherapy (later renamed Association for Convulsive Therapy).

Gary C. Aden, co-founder and first president, had his license revoked after being accused of sexually abusing patients in a sadistic manner. In 1989, he gave up his license after allegations that he had sex with patients, beat them, and branded two of the women with heated metal devices, including an iron that bore his initials. In another story, a patient describes Aden as drugging her with a hypo before sexually abusing her and beating her with a riding crop.

Co-founder HC Tien, used shock to obliterate and reprogram the mind of a woman to make her a more suitable housewife. Tien, of Michigan, utilized it to erase her memory and personality. In this case, he reprogrammed the woman into a more docile mate. This was reported in detail in two issues of Frontiers in Psychiatry, a Roche Laboratories handout sent to all psychiatrists in the country.

He said the memory loosening and the infantile state produced by the ECT made the patient amenable to drastic change. A relative helped reprogram the patient's personality according to a blueprint worked out prior to the shock. In this case, the woman wanted a divorce, and Dr. Tien and her husband coerced her into shock, saying that if she didn't comply, she would lose her children. As the good doctor shocked her, her husband worked on "reprogramming" her into his submissive wife. After the treatments concluded, all divorce action was forgotten, and she truly turned into the Stepford Wife.

Former president of the APA, D. Ewen Cameron of Canada, and first president of the World Psychiatric Association, was one of the most revered and rewarded psychiatrists on the international scene. He subjected his patients to twice-daily doses of six ECTs, one after another, to maintain the patient in one prolonged stupor. With much, or even all, of their lifetime memory bank obliterated, six months would be taken to reprogram them into more docile personalities and they would be given new memories. This suddenly became a scandal, not because of his techniques, but because of the disclosure in newspaper reports and books that he had been secretly financed in part by CIA. The CIA was eager to use these methods to "brainwash" people. His grisly methods and CIA funding are detailed in the book by John Marks (1979), "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate" and the later book, "In The Sleep Room: The Story of the CIA Brainwashing Experiments."

Congratulations to these fine examples of leadership in psychiatry and convulsive therapy.

next: Max Fink; The Grandfather of American ECT
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Marquis de Sade Awards, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/marquis-de-sade-awards

Last Updated: June 22, 2016

Panic/Anxiety Triggers

Trouble for Agoraphobics

For agoraphobics, and non-phobics as well, some insight into the many little quirks that are typical to agoraphobia.I decided to make this little "tidbit" section to offer agoraphobics, and non-phobics as well, some insight into the many little quirks that are typical to agoraphobia. The phobic symptoms (and "quirks") vary greatly from person-to-person and many agoraphobics may not even be aware that other phobics experience these feelings and idiosyncrasies.

I'm not going to go into any true depth on any particular symptom anywhere in this web page as phobics tend to "vacuum" up symptoms and gosh knows we don't need any new symptoms to dealwith!

Okay. Here we go!

Did you know...?

Just about any situation where a phobic feels "trapped" may bring on anxiety or panic. There are also many other "triggers" that produce anxiety and panic. Some of these situations may not be very obvious to the average person. Such situations may include:

  • Making left hand turns off a highway or busy street
  • Sitting in the middle of a row in a theatre etc.
  • Exposure to bright lights (especially fluorescent)
  • Bad weather conditions (such as being trapped in the house in a snowstorm) or fog (feeling closed in)
  • Darkness or bright daylight
  • Abrupt change of any kind
  • Smells (certain aromas can trigger memories and therefore cause anxiety/panic
  • Waiting in line...or just plain old waiting!
  • Loud noises
  • Taking medication: many phobics find taking medications a very anxiety producing situation, mainly because we don't like the feeling of change that some side effects can produce. To help ease into a new medication, it may be helpful to take the pill (or capsule) in its smallest possible dose. I often shave a pill with a razor blade and take it in very tiny amounts and work up to the recommended dosage.

Did you also know...

that phobics are among the most sensitive, creative, intuitive and intelligent members of the population?

next: Anxiety - Panic Attack Coping Tips
~ all articles on living with agoraphobia
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Panic/Anxiety Triggers, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/panic-anxiety-triggers

Last Updated: July 1, 2016

The Snake and the 'Snake'

 

Snake

Cat

I bet you're wondering just what in the heck this section is all about, huh?

Well, the idea for it came to me fairly recently, when I recognized (again) just how frustrating it is for those of us who suffer from severe anxiety and agoraphobia to explain to the average person what it feels like to sometimes have such intense feelings for no apparent reason (at least not apparent to them).

While pondering how to explain my situation to someone who's very close to me, I remembered that she has a severe phobia towards snakes. Suddenly, it occurred to me I could use analogies to make it easier for her to understand some of my "not-so-rational" fears.

Now....where to start?

I think a good place to start might be right here at the beginning. For those people who are actually terrified of snakes, just the mention of the word might make them literally shake. Reading this little writing might actually be more than they can bear.

Herein lies the first similarity. We all know, intellectually, that there's no snake here and nothing to possibly harm us. This is, however, only an intellectual statement. Overpowering fear can be so strong that the mere suggestion of the feared object or situation can be enough to get the adrenaline pumping and make us want to flee the situation to avoid the terrible feelings.

The same is true for agoraphobics. The problem is, there isn't always something tangible to "see"...the dreaded "snake" is often within us and becomes triggered by such things as memory, public places, performance- demanding situations, and almost any type of situation where one may feel "trapped," either physically or emotionally.

These types of situations (or more to the point, our fear of our FEELINGS in these situations) are truly our "snakes". The mere thought or mention of being placed in a perceived "trapped" situation can trigger panic in an agoraphobic, much the same way just reading about snakes can cause a snake-phobic person to become panicky. Fortunately for them however, their phobia is somewhat more "common" and can be seen and therefore more readily understandable.

Anxiety /agoraphobia may have many different facets, forms and "quirks," most of which are very foreign to the average individual. It's very important to many phobics that a certain amount of control be afforded them in most anxiety-provoking situations. Hence we have another similarity to our "snake-phobic" counterparts. For example, if we're attempting to "practice" going to a supermarket (which may be a highly anxiety-provoking event) with a supportive person, the average individual may not understand why we might panic while left alone unexpectedly for five minutes. To them it just seems like a very small matter, but while they've drifted away from us to check out the price of tomatoes, all sense of security in an "unsafe" place has gone out the window. Often unfortunately, along with it has gone all trust in that individual to work with us in the future. Chances are, we may be very unwilling to venture out of our safety zone with that person ever again. If that person happens to be a spouse or family member that can create particularly difficult problems.

Explained in terms of the real-life snake situation, it may be a little easier to understand.

If someone who has a snake phobia decides to TRY to desensitize to snakes, they may be willing to do it with a trusted person for very small exposures at a time. For instance, if someone brings a snake into a room, placed SECURELY in a box, and agrees to stay for only five minutes, the phobic person may be willing to do it.

Probably, just the thought of all this about to happen would bring the person to a very anxious state, but they're trusting that it'll be a limited experience, one over which they have control, so they agree to proceed. If however, the support person decides randomly to enter with the snake and then just leave the room, or worse yet, let the snake out of the secure container, the snake-phobic person would most assuredly panic and perhaps never be willing to try this process again, and especially not with that person.

The principle is the same in both cases only, once again, in the case of the snake the trigger for the anxiety is obvious whereas in the supermarket there are no apparent "bogeymen". The "snake" is within the person, but the feelings are the same and nonetheless real.

Agoraphobic Triggers

For agoraphobics, on any given day, it often feels like we have "snakes" being thrown at us from all angles. Since agoraphobia is usually many phobias rolled into one, there are many triggers, even some we can't often identify.

A snake phobia on the other hand is considered more of a "simple" or singular phobia. It's very difficult to understand the complexity of a true agoraphobic's situation on a daily basis. It's like we have to live in a society where snakes are the norm and we simply have to adjust and be willing to live with them everyday or be thought of as "odd". This keeps us continually "on our guard" and can be very threatening and draining.

I guess the bottom line here is that we all have "something" in this life to challenge us and for some of us our challenge is not readily visible or explainable to others. We ask only that you try to accept us, even if you don't truly understood.

All I'm asking, if you have an agoraphobic in your life, please try to be as compassionate and accepting as you can be because we all do the best we can and most of us would give anything to be more like you!

Thanks for listening.

Hugs,
Ellen

next: Anxiety on the GO - Travel Anxiety Breakthrough
~ all articles on living with agoraphobia
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~ all anxiety disorders articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). The Snake and the 'Snake', HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/the-snake-and-the-snake

Last Updated: July 2, 2016

I Picked Up a Few Groceries Today...

So? Big deal, right? Yes, it's a big deal for someone who has been housebound for 5 years.

I had my first panic attacks in grocery stores and they were the first places I avoided, followed by everywhere else, until I became completely agoraphobic. Didn't even know the meaning of that word until years later when depression and extreme anxiety forced me to seek help.

It's been a long and difficult journey to get where I am today...putting groceries away and dancing with delight. I did it! Yes, me! My self-esteem is elevated, my legs are steady, and my heart is light.

After many weeks of driving "just another block today", and many weeks of actually going into the store, I became able to push the cart around before escaping. A few more weeks and I could put some groceries in the cart before I left.

I Picked Up a Few Groceries Today...actually stayed, paid, and brought them home. Please go with me as I recall the day.

Man at Grocery Store11.00 a.m. Too early for the lunch rush, too late for school busses...time is right. I will drive. Into the store and check the shopping list (no list, just an excuse to locate the exit and breathe). OK, Thank God for carts to hang on to and don't look at the neon lights. Concentrate. Up and down the aisles, some are alright, others are terrible.

12:00 p.m. I have finished grocery shopping now and it's time to go through the check-out. GOD, the check-out.

12:05 p.m. I manage to get the groceries on the conveyor belt even though people around me must know I am weird.

12:06 p.m.It's time to pay...the check is already made out (2 days ago), all I have to do is fill in the amount and I have forgotten how to do it. More deep breathing, settle down and ignore the people who think you are weird.

1:00 p.m. I Picked Up a Few Groceries Today... does anyone need a urinal deodorizer or 3 lbs of brown sugar? How about pimple cream? I have everything now...including my self-esteem.

Thanks for reading.

Bless, Elizabeth.

next: Poetry
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). I Picked Up a Few Groceries Today..., HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/i-picked-up-a-few-groceries-today

Last Updated: July 2, 2016

Resources for Help and Change

Living with Agoraphobia, resources for help and change. My story with this challenge called agoraphobia began about 37 years ago. Comprehensive agoraphobia info covering what it's like to be phobic, treatment including systematic desensitization.When I'm having an especially challenging time with my anxiety/agoraphobia, my "tools" get me through it. They're mainly reading material, tapes, videos, good friends to listen to me rant and rave and /or little gimmicks to distract myself. Not all pertain to agoraphobia per se, some are simply stress-reduction techniques.

Music is a big help and I have a new-found interest in developing my spirituality. I had always longed for what other "religious" people seemed to have, that "inner peace" thing. I never could really "connect" with conventional religion, but find myself, in my old age :) seeking out information to feed my soul. It only recently occurred to me that if I didn't "get it" when I was younger, perhaps I could develop it now!

Anyway, I find it very comforting and will include some of that reading material that's changing my life in many ways. Most of what I mention here is available at any traditional or online bookstore.

  1. First book that really helped me was "Peace From Nervous Suffering" by Dr. Claire Weekes, who was said to have been agoraphobic herself (way back, before being phobic wasn't cool!)
  2. Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. Another of Dr. Weekes' great insightful books into the anxiety challenge.
  3. The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.d. This book is a wonderful all-around book for dealing with anxiety and phobias. It gives some insights as to why we might have become phobic as well as practical information and directions for mastering the challenge! I use this one for reference a LOT!
  4. Healing Fear by Edmund M. Bourne, Ph.d. This is another book by Dr. Bourne that deals with facing anxiety. He also explains from a personal viewpoint how it is to live with anxiety and also emphasizes how beneficial it may be to develop one's spirituality.
  5. The Anxiety Disease by Dr. David Sheehan, deals mostly with the drug treatment /physiological side of this challenge. Interesting reading for those who want to go the medication route.
  6. Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns, is a great all-around book. It deals a lot with Depression which often accompanies agoraphobia.
  7. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Sheehan.
  8. How to Heal Depression by Harold Bloomfield, M.D. & Peter Mc Williams. What a great combo of authors! I have read many other books by both of them.
  9. You Can't Afford The Luxury of A Negative Thought: A Book For People With Any Life Threatening Illness Including Life by John-Roger and Peter Mc Williams. This is a book that I use VERY often, one of the most useful in my library. I personally think EVERYONE could benefit from it (just my opinion mind you.) on cassettes
  10. Healing Anxiety with Herbs by Harold Bloomfield, M.D. As the title implies this book deals with a natural approach in helping our nerves stop "jiggling".
  11. Grief Recovery by John W. James and Russell Friedman. Many of us suffer from a lot of "stuff" from our past and have a lot of unresolved grief. This book does a wonderful job of helping us look at this stuff. Ouchy! Truth is, it really helps to get down to those root feelings (for me anyway).
  12. Meditations for People Who (May) Worry Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef. This is a little daily meditation book that I find most helpful on a daily basis. Another one is called Days of Healing, Days of Joy.
  13. Out on a Limb by Shirley MacLaine. I can't begin to tell you how this book hit me. It got me going on my spiritual path. For those of you who may really want to read something DIFFERENT and are open-minded this might be quite a treat!
  14. Conversations With God, Book 1, Book 2 and Book 3 by Neale Donald Walsch. I have NO words to adequately describe this trilogy. Book 3 was recently published and I got it hot off the press. It is life altering...(for me, anyway). A set of books well worth reading for those of us who really could use some fresh inspiration and something new to think about!
  15. The Eagle and The Rose by Rosemary Altea. Rosemary is a psychic medium, healer. This is a extraordinary true story about her life. Another extraordinary book along my path to spiritual healing.
  16. Give the Gift of Healing: A Concise Guide to Spiritual Healing by Rosemary Altea. This is a tape/book combo with a wonderful meditation included (one of the best that I have ever used.)
  17. One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant, is another workbook/daily meditation type book (also comes on cassette). It gives little assignments for forty days and forty nights- all dealing with spiritual growth. Iyanla appears on Oprah quite often.
  18. ANXIETY, PANIC ATTACKS AND AGORAPHOBIA- Information For Support People, Family and Friends One of a kind! 2nd Edition by Kenneth V. Strong.
  19. Power Over Panic: Freedom from Anxiety/Panic Related Disorders. Bronwyn Fox. Ms. Fox has an accompanying audiotape called Panic-Anxiety: Taking Back the Power.
  20. When Someone You Love Is Depressed: How to Help Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself, by Laura Epstein Rosen, Xavier F. Amador.
  21. Attacking Anxiety. This is a series of cassettes from the Midwest Center for Anxiety. They're very useful and offer a mini-program (kinda like a self-help course) for dealing with anxiety. 800-944-9428.
  22. Personal Power by Anthony Robbins This is another series of cassettes or CD's that give you a 30 day mini-program to try to help you develop your personal power. I have used these for years and find them extremely motivating. I got them from a TV advertisement and recommend them highly!
  23. Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. Meditations on cassettes.
  24. Guided Meditation, Exploration and Healing, by Stephen Levine.
  25. Muscle Relaxation/Imaginal Desensitization by Ellen (author of this web site). This tape is designed to help you understand some of the techniques mentioned at this web site.

next: A Little Humor to Bring a Smile to Your Face
~ all articles on living with agoraphobia
~ anxiety-panic library articles
~ all anxiety disorders articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Resources for Help and Change, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/resources-for-help-and-change

Last Updated: July 2, 2016

Poetry

Inspiration

Mass psychogenic illness - when groups of people feel sick at the same time even though there s no physical or environmental reason for them to be sick.I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.


By Bettie B. Youngs

----

 

BE THANKFUL

 

 

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

 

 


Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

 

 


Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

 

 


It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

 

 

-Author Unknown-

----


 

 

The Difference Between Strength and Courage


It takes strength to be firm,
It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pains,
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

May the world hug you today
With its warmth, and love
And may the wind carry a voice
That tells you there is a friend
Sitting in another corner of the world wishing you well!

----

Anyway


People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Love them anyway.

If you are successful you may win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.
Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.
Give the world your best anyway.
- Mother Teresa

----


 

The Invitation


by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (A Native American Elder)

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow,
if you have been opened up by life's betrayals or
have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let ecstacy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the
limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can betray another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful
and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it's not a pretty day,
and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver light of a full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
for the children.

It doesn't matter who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

------

The Purpose

We are born with two eyes in front because we must
not always look behind, but see what lies ahead,
beyond ourselves.

We are born to have two ears ~ one left, one right,
so we can hear both sides, collect both the compliments
and criticisms, to see which are right.

We are born with a brain concealed in a skull that
no matter how poor we are, we are still rich, for no
one can steal what our brain contains, packing in
more jewels and rings than you can think.

We are born with two eyes, two ears, but one mouth
for the mouth is a sharp weapon, it can hurt, flirt,
and kill.

We are born with only one heart, deep in our ribs to
remind us to appreciate and give love from deep within.

Remember the motto: talk less, listen and see more.

----


 

THE SCULPTOR'S ATTITUDE


I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or ...I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because I've been provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped.

And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY ...unless you have other plans.
~ Author Unknown

----

THE ROSE

I've been buried in barren soil,
beneath rock and refuse,
my roots so badly tangled
I fear that I'd be strangled
if excavated expertly
by even the most gifted gardner
and transplanted in dark, delicious earth.I've been choked so often by frost and drought
that I would find it very peculiar
to be tucked into bed on raw April nights
and feel the fingers of sprinklers
tickle the ground above me
on an arid August afternoon.And I'm not quite sure what I'd do
if I ever poked my head above the ground
and saw the light of day.
I'm afraid I've become
so accustomed to darkness
that brightness might startle me
back to the depths of despair.
But the rose has never failed
to open its arms to the sun
even after the coldest of winters.by David C. Schrader

----


 

I've Learned

That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do
is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

That no matter how much you care, some people just don't care back.
That it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.
That it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
That you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

That you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
That it's not what happens to us that's important. It's what we do about it.
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
That no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

That it may be easier to react than to plan ahead, but it's much less effective.
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, passion fades and there had better be something stronger to take its place.
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
That learning to forgive takes practice.

That there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

That maturity has more to do with the experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
That no matter how badly your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

That background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends=change.
That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you.

That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
That the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being

 

next: Bill of Rights
~ all articles on living with agoraphobia
~ anxiety-panic library articles
~ all anxiety disorders articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Poetry, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/poetry

Last Updated: July 2, 2016

Harold Sackeim


No one else has had quite the stomach ECT promotion that Harold Sackeim has; other ECT advocates, not so skilled in self deception, tend to choke on the Big Lies he tells so glibly.

By Linda Andre

LYING FOR FUN AND PROFIT

In 1975, when he was a graduate student in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, young Harold Sackeim wrote his masters thesis on self deception. And his PhD dissertation was titled "Self Deception: Motivational Determinants of the Non-Awareness of Cognition."

So Harold became a doctor by self deception. He then seemed headed for a dead-end career in academic psychology, publishing on such decidedly unsexy topics as "Classroom seating and psychopathology." He published a book chapter called "The Adaptive Value of Lying to Oneself" and an article titled "Self Deception: A concept in search of a phenomenon."

Clearly Harold needed a product to pitch, a big-ticket tie-in; if he didn't find one he would end up just another obscure academic researcher. Sometime around 1980, his concept met its phenomenon: Harold hitched his wagon to a shock machine. It was a perfect match. Harold's star has done nothing but rise ever since.

Harold had received a grand total of about $5,000 in grant money up to 1981. That year he got half a million dollars, and the millions have been rolling in steadily ever since. By 1988, Harold was proclaiming himself a "world expert" on ECT, and not many in the world were inclined to contradict him.

The fact is that if Harold Sackeim didn't exist the American Psychiatric Association would have had to invent him, in order to get out of what it perceived as a public relations problem with electroshock. Sackeim is a born PR man. No one else has had quite the stomach for ECT promotion that Harold has; other ECT advocates, not so skilled in self deception, tend to choke on the Big Lies he tells so glibly. Harold gives the impression of actually believing his own lies, and perhaps he really does.

Whenever the media does a story on ECT, Harold is there with a sound bite on the spot. Whenever an ECT survivor sues for memory loss, Harold is likely to be the "expert witness" testifying against her. He's got his fingers in every dike where the truth about ECT might slip through.

A writer for a men's magazine once called Harold Sackeim a "designer-suited scientist." But only the first half of that description is accurate. Harold does wear the finest suits ---though like the special souped-up shock machines he uses, they must be made to order, since he stands under five feet tall. But a scientist Harold Sackeim is not. All of his money and influence have gone, not into an objective scientific investigation of ECT, but into preventing such an investigation.

--- Since 1981, Harold has been continuously funded by NIMH to study "Affective and Cognitive Consequences of ECT." He's received over five million dollars for this grant alone (he has several other million dollar grants from NIMH as well). That's five million dollars that made sure that no one but Harold would have the official say as to exactly what ECT's cognitive effects are. And it's virtually certain now that no one else ever will. This grant, now entering its third decade, no longer has to compete with other proposals for funding; it's renewed for ten years at a time, most recently in 2000.

What does Harold have to show for his twenty years of "research"? Well, he wrote last year that "we lack data" on the permanent adverse effects of ECT; in particular, he claims there is no research on the number of survivors who experience severe permanent amnesia.

--- Rather than doing this research ---- research he surely knows would be fatal to his published claims that ECT is safe, and to his position as the golden boy of the ECT industry --- Harold's chosen to simply make up some numbers. He wrote the APA's informed consent form, which is used in one version or another in most hospitals in America. The form states that only "1 in 200" ECT survivors report permanent memory loss. But that fake "statistic" is not based on anything. Harold was finally forced to admit (on national television) that this is simply a made-up number, and that there is no data to support it. Ever the PR man, he calls the figure "impressionistic."

Without blinking an eye, he's now (as of mid-2001) begun touting a new "impressionistic" figure: 1 in 500.


--- In a public hearing before the New York State Assembly in July 2001, Harold claimed he had "never" seen a case of anterograde memory loss after ECT. (Anterograde refers to loss of memory function; retrograde refers to loss of memories, or amnesia.) He invited "anyone in the country" who had experienced such loss to "come in for an evaluation." Dozens of ECT survivors with anterograde memory loss contacted Harold. How many have been to Harold's facility for an evaluation? Not one. Harold backpedaled on his invitation as fast as he could the instant it became clear that survivors would, indeed, take him up on it. Those who've phoned, emailed or faxed Harold report that he either never responded, or simply told them----without meeting them or doing any testing or evaluation----that something other than ECT was to blame for their deficits. Drugs, other psychiatric treatments---whatever he could think of---must have caused the disability or brain damage, not ECT, he said. Therefore there was no need for an evaluation to see if ECT had done it. In one memorable case of a woman whose brain damage and permanent cognitive disability had already been well documented (and attributed to ECT) by her doctors, a lesser PR man than Harold might have been at somewhat of a loss as to what to say to her. The woman had never had any drugs, treatment, or mental illness after having ECT. So what caused her deficits? Harold wasn't stumped for an answer: why, it was the short period of mental illness she'd experienced nearly two decades earlier, for which she was given ECT, that damaged her brain! "You're saying you believe mental illness causes brain damage?" asked the astounded woman. "We know it does," came the answer, quick as a con man's switch of the cards. He explained that he believes "depression itself, period" always causes brain damage even when successfully treated.

--- But stop the presses! It's not exactly correct to say Harold isn't gathering data on the incidence of retrograde and anterograde memory loss, and brain damage, due to electroshock. A member of his research team recently admitted that he does, in fact, test his research subjects memory and cognitive abilities before and after ECT. And although many of his tests are too easy or irrelevant to be useful, he does use at least one of the tests that ECT survivors have found relevant to our deficits. The catch: he's never published or disclosed any of the results of these tests, or even the fact that he administers them. Wonder why not? And since he's using federal money to do the testing, how can he hide the results?

--- Much of Harold's grant money has gone, not into actual research, but into long "review" articles in which he selectively trashes everybody else's research. He did this is a 1993 article in which he dismissed the existing brain damage research, and in a 2000 article in which he trashed the memory loss research. In both articles he simply left out or distorted those published articles which say that ECT causes brain damage and memory loss.

--- For over a decade, Harold has expressed the opinion that research into whether ECT causes brain damage is "not of scientific interest", "uninteresting", and "unlikely to be funded."

A real scientist doesn't cut off entire areas of scientific investigation by fiat.

Sackeim is in a position not just to express this opinion, but also to enforce it, and that's exactly what he's done. By virtue of his role as a reviewer of every proposed ECT grant that comes into NIMH and other agencies that might fund ECT research, and by virtue of his position on the editorial boards of virtually all journals which publish ECT articles, Sackeim's arguably done more than any man in America to prevent a scientific investigation of ECT's effects on the brain from ever being funded or published.

Ironically, his lab at the New York State Psychiatric Institute is stocked with the latest brain imaging technology, technology that's available in only a handful of institutions in this country. Harold's got both the tools and the money to settle the question of whether ECT causes brain damage ---- but you see, that's what a scientist would do, and he's a PR man.

--- Harold does MRIs on his ECT patients routinely, but not to assess the effects of ECT! ÝHe uses the brain scans to help him learn how to design and use the giant magnet (or transcranial magnetic stimulation) machines from which is making a profit and stands to make a killing when and if they replace ECT machines! What a waste of costly MRI scans...paid for with our tax money. They could be used for science, to assess the effects of ECT on the brain, if someone would just read them for that purpose, instead of as a way to further Harold's career as a brain damage profiteer. (If you guessed that Harold's on the payroll of the magnet machine manufacturers such as Magstim, you're correct! He "consults" for them, gets grants from them, and how could he resist owning stock in them?)

--- He's also a consultant to the shock machine company Mecta, and has been since the mid 1980s. He's worked for shock machine company Somatics as well. He's even received grant money from Mecta. Federal law requires NIMH grantees to disclose actual or potential financial conflicts of interest, and requires that the conflicts be managed or eliminated. Sackeim has never disclosed his financial ties to the shock machine companies.

He does, however, disclose that he was on the board of Cambridge Neuroscience, a company that made a drug that was supposed to alleviate ECT's effects on memory. (It didn't.) Harold's position that ECT is safe and can't cause memory loss doesn't interfere with his eagerness to make a buck off that memory loss.

His biggest whopper, for which he is justly infamous, is this one:

ECT improves memory. This statement appears in the APA consent form and many other consent forms, such as the one recently adopted by the state of Vermont. When Harold first came out with this line in the early 90s, ECT survivors laughed, figuring it was some kind of sick joke.

But no one else is laughing.


As it turns out, even Harold's own published articles don't support that claim. He cites only to himself as "proof", since there isn't anyone else; he usually cites, for instance, Sackeim et al, "Subjective Memory Complaints Prior to and Following Electroconvulsive Therapy", Biological Psychiatry 39: 346-356 and Sackeim et al, "Effects of depression and ECT on anterograde memory." Biological Psychiatry 21: 921-930, 1986. What this research actually shows is that patients are poor judges of their memory functioning in the days and weeks shortly following ECT, and although when asked by their shock doctors they reported their memories to be good or better than ever, in fact their performance on objective tests of memory functioning was worse. In order words, Sackeim's own research is consistent with the conclusion that patients are suffering from acute organic brain syndrome due to ECT.

Harold is so addicted to lying, he does it just for fun. A few years ago, while teaching one of his "How to do ECT" classes, he recounted an anecdote involving a well-known New York City human rights activist and a man who was Harold's patient at the time. Harold claimed that the advocate had come to his hospital, demanded to see this patient, got into the hospital and then tried to talk the patient out of having ECT. The punch line of the story - which got a resounding laugh out of the aspiring shock docs - was that this patient then decided to go ahead with ECT.

It made a great story, flattering to Harold, derogatory to what he called "the anti-ECT movement." Except for one thing: it never happened. The advocate never went near Sackeim's institution, never spoke to his patient, never tried to contact him in any way. The "anti psychiatry" organization Harold claimed she represented did not exist. He just made up the name on the spot, for purposes of his story.

His audience was completely duped, to the extent that a discussion ensued on the topic of "What would you do if anti-psychiatry came to your door?"

Did Sackeim tell his students he made up the whole thing? No, he was having too much fun. Was he maybe psychotic when he told the story? Arguably. Or as a doctor of self-deception, did he actually believe it to be true?

SHAME on Harold Sackeim for worming himself into positions of public trust, then abusing the hell out of that trust, and for making a killing doing it.

SHAME for playing the "mental patients are irrational and dishonest" card, rather than honestly investigating and documenting our reports of permanent memory loss and brain damage. (See his many government-funded articles in which he argues that people who report amnesia and cognitive deficits after ECT are crazy - for example, "Subjective Memory Complaints: A Review of Patient Self-Assessment of Memory After Electroconvulsive Therapy," Journal of ECT, June 2000.) SHAME for playing this card as an "expert witness" on the stand against persons with permanent memory loss and cognitive disability.

SHAME for playing the "violent mental patients" card with the media, as in his false claim that patients have made "death threats" on him.

SHAME for telling one of his research subjects who was brave enough to confront him after losing twenty years of memory that her memory loss "couldn't" be caused by ECT, and "must have" been caused by a stroke she had without realizing it.

SHAME for telling each one of the hundreds of survivors who've been his subjects or who've contacted him, "Your losses could not possibly be due to ECT", and then saying with a straight face and fingers crossed behind his back (in court, to policymakers, to politicians, to the media) that he has "never" seen a case of permanent ECT memory loss.

Whether for fun or profit, the net effect of Harold Sackeim's lies has been to end all scientific investigation of ECT's effects on memory and the brain, and to effectively discredit survivors who report memory loss and brain damage, and to prevent future patients from being informed of ECT's permanent effects.

New York Psychiatric InstituteNo one is more shameless than Harold Sackeim, and no one more richly deserves induction into the SHOCKED! ECT Hall of Shame.

Were you treated with electroshock at New York State Psychiatric Institute (NYSPI)? Treated poorly? Complaints ignored? Dropped from the study and read later that you were never included in the study participants? You aren't alone, and we can help. Your privacy is guaranteed.

Email, fax or call

Were you an employee in the electroshock research department at New York State Psychiatric Institute (NYSPI)? You witnessed things that have weighed on your conscience ever since? Whistleblowers are encouraged to contact us. Your privacy is guaranteed.

next: Letter from Susan Dime-Meenan, Executive Director of the National Depressive and Manic Depression Association
~ all Shocked! ECT articles
~ depression library articles
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, February 20). Harold Sackeim, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, September 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/harold-sackeim

Last Updated: June 22, 2016